insaneladybug (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
insaneladybug) wrote2022-09-20 03:29 am
insaneladybug) wrote2022-09-20 03:29 am
Entry tags:
...
I found this on the Tumblr blog Furious Goldfish. I bolded the things I feel/have felt.
Is my behaviour a symptom of abuse? Masterlist
Outside symptoms
Offering comfort and compassion while never receiving or asking
You’re hyper-independent and never ask for help
You downplay all the pain you felt thru your childhood
You’re so scared of failure it’s difficult to start anything
You struggle to take credit for things you did
You’ve can sense other people’s emotions as if they’re yours
You feel obliged to nurture, please and care for others
You struggle with chronic exhaustion and chronic pain
You don’t complain because ‘others have it worse’
You have the ability to endure everything to prove you’re strong
Living your life in fiction and Magical thinking
You had/have experiences with self harm
You’re scared to cut off toxic people from your life
Loud noises and figures of authority give you anxiety
Overtaking responsibility for everything
You feel compulsed to ‘act normal’ in every situation
You blame yourself for being stressed and procrastinating
You struggle with deep breathing, palpitations, overheating, dry mouth
Inside symptoms
Emotional symptoms of long term abuse
You have low self esteem and experience self-hatred
You feel that you need to be perfect, but others don’t have to
You crave approval from others very intensely
Anxiety while doing mundane tasks (cooking, cleaning, going out)
You don’t take happiness for granted, it scares you instead
You constantly feel pain and like ‘you need to get it together’
You’re afraid to feel your own emotions, you need a permission
You wish you had a physical evidence of abuse so it would count
You feel overwhelming guilt for things that happened to you
Confusing gaps in memory
You have cptsd symptoms
You struggle with intrusive thoughts and images
You’re always thinking ‘it wasn’t that bad’
You’re uncomfortable with being comforted
You feel as if you crave abuse
You have trauma symptoms from childhood abuse
You have a sense of foreshortened future
You believe a tougher life will make you stronger
You believe that everyone deserves compassion except you
Emotional symptoms of long term abuse:
You feel that you don’t have it that bad and that you just need to suck it up and endure it
You believe you’re exaggerating and dramatizing your pain, you’re probably fine and just faking it.
You don’t think you have any right to complain because there’s people who have it worse out there, and you should be grateful it’s not worse.
Someone thinking you’re in need of ‘saving’ gives you anxiety. You don’t want anyone to worry about you, or to seem like you’re in distress.
You feel like you’re pathetic for waiting for something to happen to make your life better.
You feel guilty and ashamed a lot of, or even most of the time.
You are disgusted by the idea of being seen as weak, spoiled, attention-seeking or a special snowflake. You’re secretly scared of being any or all of that.
You would endure as much as possible before asking for help or causing any concern.
You are always worried if someone will get angry at you, and if they do get angry, you feel it’s your fault and you deserved it.
You see other people’s struggles before anything else about them, and feel grateful you don’t have to deal with that on top of everything else.
You understand anyone who’s been misunderstood, quiet, outcast, or universally hated. You feel a connection with them almost instantly.
You’re ashamed of it but you long for approval so badly you’d go to any lengths to obtain it.
You don’t feel that you deserve love, or that it is even possible to love you.
Being judged, criticized, shamed, rejected or mocked hurts you on deep and even physical level. You don’t feel that you can bear it.
You are terrified of failure. You’re scared that you could actually be horrid and irredeemably bad at everything. It makes you so paralyzed you can’t even try things you could be bad at.
You hide your true desires because you feel they’re too much, you feel ashamed dreaming of being passionately loved or unconditionally accepted and adored. For you, these feel like unachieveable dreams.
You’re able to understand, defend, excuse, fight for, stand up for and adore anyone, but yourself. You feel that everyone else deserves more kindness, compassion, understanding, empathy and support, but you can’t feel this for yourself.
If 4 or more of these ring true for you, know that these are not just personality traits, they’re a results of long-term shredding of your own self worth, confidence, self-perception, perceived value in society. These beliefs are a result of grooming. Nobody who is raised/treated lovingly would ever believe any of these lies. If you feel this, you’ve been exposed to psychological and emotional abuse.
Is my behaviour a symptom of abuse? Masterlist
Outside symptoms
Offering comfort and compassion while never receiving or asking
You’re hyper-independent and never ask for help
You downplay all the pain you felt thru your childhood
You’re so scared of failure it’s difficult to start anything
You struggle to take credit for things you did
You’ve can sense other people’s emotions as if they’re yours
You feel obliged to nurture, please and care for others
You struggle with chronic exhaustion and chronic pain
You don’t complain because ‘others have it worse’
You have the ability to endure everything to prove you’re strong
Living your life in fiction and Magical thinking
You had/have experiences with self harm
You’re scared to cut off toxic people from your life
Loud noises and figures of authority give you anxiety
Overtaking responsibility for everything
You feel compulsed to ‘act normal’ in every situation
You blame yourself for being stressed and procrastinating
You struggle with deep breathing, palpitations, overheating, dry mouth
Inside symptoms
Emotional symptoms of long term abuse
You have low self esteem and experience self-hatred
You feel that you need to be perfect, but others don’t have to
You crave approval from others very intensely
Anxiety while doing mundane tasks (cooking, cleaning, going out)
You don’t take happiness for granted, it scares you instead
You constantly feel pain and like ‘you need to get it together’
You’re afraid to feel your own emotions, you need a permission
You wish you had a physical evidence of abuse so it would count
You feel overwhelming guilt for things that happened to you
Confusing gaps in memory
You have cptsd symptoms
You struggle with intrusive thoughts and images
You’re always thinking ‘it wasn’t that bad’
You’re uncomfortable with being comforted
You feel as if you crave abuse
You have trauma symptoms from childhood abuse
You have a sense of foreshortened future
You believe a tougher life will make you stronger
You believe that everyone deserves compassion except you
Emotional symptoms of long term abuse:
You feel that you don’t have it that bad and that you just need to suck it up and endure it
You believe you’re exaggerating and dramatizing your pain, you’re probably fine and just faking it.
You don’t think you have any right to complain because there’s people who have it worse out there, and you should be grateful it’s not worse.
Someone thinking you’re in need of ‘saving’ gives you anxiety. You don’t want anyone to worry about you, or to seem like you’re in distress.
You feel like you’re pathetic for waiting for something to happen to make your life better.
You feel guilty and ashamed a lot of, or even most of the time.
You are disgusted by the idea of being seen as weak, spoiled, attention-seeking or a special snowflake. You’re secretly scared of being any or all of that.
You would endure as much as possible before asking for help or causing any concern.
You are always worried if someone will get angry at you, and if they do get angry, you feel it’s your fault and you deserved it.
You see other people’s struggles before anything else about them, and feel grateful you don’t have to deal with that on top of everything else.
You understand anyone who’s been misunderstood, quiet, outcast, or universally hated. You feel a connection with them almost instantly.
You’re ashamed of it but you long for approval so badly you’d go to any lengths to obtain it.
You don’t feel that you deserve love, or that it is even possible to love you.
Being judged, criticized, shamed, rejected or mocked hurts you on deep and even physical level. You don’t feel that you can bear it.
You are terrified of failure. You’re scared that you could actually be horrid and irredeemably bad at everything. It makes you so paralyzed you can’t even try things you could be bad at.
You hide your true desires because you feel they’re too much, you feel ashamed dreaming of being passionately loved or unconditionally accepted and adored. For you, these feel like unachieveable dreams.
You’re able to understand, defend, excuse, fight for, stand up for and adore anyone, but yourself. You feel that everyone else deserves more kindness, compassion, understanding, empathy and support, but you can’t feel this for yourself.
If 4 or more of these ring true for you, know that these are not just personality traits, they’re a results of long-term shredding of your own self worth, confidence, self-perception, perceived value in society. These beliefs are a result of grooming. Nobody who is raised/treated lovingly would ever believe any of these lies. If you feel this, you’ve been exposed to psychological and emotional abuse.