The Winter Court of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

I have always had great anticipation for my birthday. The last couple of years have been strange, with having to get my gifts myself, but in another way it's been nice since most of what I want is online-only, Dad has never been good with shopping for others online, and this way I ensure I get lots of what I really want. I've stocked up some fun things for my birthday, mainly Eevee and Star Wars and Encanto merch. And at least there will be a couple of surprises from friends.

On one such trip, I was absolutely overjoyed and elated to see the free-standing GameStop closest to us came back! It was such a shock. Last year they definitely seemed to be closed and I'm sure they were no longer listed on the website. But a couple of weeks ago they were open, fully functional, and on the website again! I doubt anything else could have excited me as much, except a new free-standing Toys R Us in the States. I might actually cry for joy if such a thing were to ever happen again (which I doubt it will). I wish I could go to Canada and visit it there.

The GameStop had many Eevee things. A lot of them I already have, lol. But there were a handful of things I didn't have, and I got a cute Eevee figure to put away for my birthday. She looks like she'll be better in scale with my Radley doll than my talking Eevee (who will of course stay Radley's as well).

I also finally saw the sleeping plush. She is very cute! But more expensive than Amazon was last charging. I'm hoping Amazon will restock. I never thought I'd want a sleeping plush, but the Eevees are so darling. They're even more appealing since I'm playing Pokemon Sleep. I imagine that game is responsible for sales of the sleeping plush going through the ceiling lately. Although they've always seemed popular.

Even knowing what most things are, the anticipation of opening them is just as exciting as if I didn't know. Perhaps a little moreso, since I know I won't get disappointed (unless I was sent the wrong merch, which I certainly hope won't have happened). The crowning piece is the adorable Halloween Eevee statue. I have no idea where I'll put her, but I had to get her. It hurt so much not getting her last year. She's so precious. Even Pikachu in that line is trying to be scary, but Eevee is just too innocent and sweet and genuine for that and is just going "Yay! :D"

Stores always like to send me things for my birthday month too. Disney has sent their annual 20% discount, which I plan to save for combining with their free ship day this month. I haven't decided what I'll use it on yet. Possibilities are Kristoff doll (if he's still in stock), Isabela or Dolores plush (Mirabel is cheaper on Amazon and Luisa is here waiting for Tuesday), or maybe Eeyore. I always wanted an Eeyore. Or a really furry Tigger. I have my brother's, but he is not very furry so many years later.

I was so frustrated that I got distracted with the possibility of a Disney order right when I was trying to place my Pokemon Center order a couple of weeks ago. I was distracted so long that I missed out on the Flareon and Jolteon Sitting Cuties, and those are the only two Eevee family members I have no plushies of. I had no idea they'd sell out over the weekend. I was worried the Afternoon with Eevee figures would sell out that fast, but they stayed and the plushies vamoosed. Go figure. I should have really known all along the Pokemon Center order was what I wanted the most, considering I've had other chances to get those Disney items on other sales and have always decided I couldn't justify the cost, even with discounts.

Target will send me something on Tuesday. Last year it was 10% off something, which is barely anything at all. But I still put it to good use getting the 24 inch sitting Eevee. This year, I have my eye on the Eevee costume accessory set. We're finally getting a Target closer to us and it's supposed to open this month, but I don't have an exact day yet. It would be awesome if they have the set. Not all Targets carry it. It would be so fun to buy it in-store. There's something especially satisfying about getting a wanted item in-store and bringing it home right then. Although mail is certainly fun too.

I'm also heavily contemplating a three-foot cardboard Eevee stand-up from Party City. Of course, this is utterly ridiculous since I am not at all sure where I'd put it. But it's oh so tempting anyway.

The one other order I'm debating right now is at Macy's. Last year I saw a beautiful blue reindeer and was crushed I couldn't get it. I don't know why I forgot about it entirely until I saw it on Macy's site the other day. A special sale on her ends tomorrow and I've been debating getting her. I really want her, but I also really want the Eevee things and I can't have it all. I'm honestly leaning more towards the cardboard cut-out, but it seems so foolish to get that. I must decide quickly, as my discount on that also ends tomorrow.

Haven't felt like writing for months. There's been a lot of upsetting things happening in real-life and online both, and I've preferred discussing both good and bad things in private with friends.

I had a lot of fun buying my own presents in October, at least, including elements of my Radley costume. I am very happy with it. I like to dress as him and record various songs trying to sing as him, which is interesting. It's hard to sing with anything resembling a male voice, but it helps that his dub voice isn't terribly low and my normal speaking voice isn't terribly high. I haven't done it for a while, but there are other songs I want to try.

Also bought most of my own Christmas presents aside from stuff friends sent. Dad wrapped some of them so I'd have more to unwrap. It was a very nice Christmas. I got Disney dolls of Raya, Sisu (I love the movie, mostly!), Ariel (also finally saw that and love it too), and Frozen 2 Elsa. I still don't like the ending of the movie, but I do love her final attire. I also got some fun plushies on QVC, and I used a birthday gift card to buy an adorable Christmas tree plush from Build-a-Bear. His name is Bob, because really, what else are you going to name a happy little tree?

I got a huge basket of yummy goodies from one sister and some nice things like a diffuser from another. I love the concept of it, although I don't much like the scent of lavender. It comes with lavender scent to put in it. I want to see if I can find other scents too.

Azalea542 sent a cool musical Frozen watch and a Boba Fett pin. Ladyamberjo and Lisa sent lovely gift cards and I had some fun Amazon spending sprees. I have most of the 5Ds manga now, except for #1, which has decided to be elusive new. Aurgh. Aside from preferring new in general, I especially want new here to be sure I get the card that comes with it. I also got some DVDs.

MoonlightTyger sent a wonderful cap and a Boba Fett plush (so soft!), and Tales of the Abyss! I'm very relieved it plays on my 2DS. I've played up to where Natalia joins the party so far. It is a very fun game aside from the boss battle against Arietta. Such a relief to finally conquer that! It's always interesting when a property has a sheltered character like Luke. While I can't fully relate to Luke's specific situation, I was quite sheltered most of my childhood. I was very sick for some years and there was also a lot of unfair prejudice going around about our family which caused a lot of backlash on me. Some of the neighborhood kids weren't allowed to associate much with me and the ones that were allowed didn't get to play as much as I wanted. So I mostly played with Mom through those years. It wasn't until I was becoming a teen that I started really having in-depth friendships with people where we'd talk a lot and have conflicts and the like. So I wasn't always good at associating with people, although I tried to learn quickly and even fake it sometimes. Of course, I still mess up and I'm also such a weird person that a lot of people get turned off by my different interests in characters and topics. Some things never do change. People can be very cruel and unkind when someone goes against the norm, whatever the norm happens to be. Anyway, point being, I like when there are sheltered characters in things.

The Book of Boba Fett makes me very happy. Disney is continuing to fulfill my 30 year old dream. I far prefer their Boba to the often cold and ruthless portrayals from some of the old 1990s books. I never wanted to see him that way. Since canon (and by canon I only mean the movies, as the books were never absolute canon to me) was so vague about him, I felt like people could see him as anything they wanted and it wouldn't go against canon. While I don't agree with Disney on a lot of their decisions, I am so thrilled with how they're handling Boba. I hope the TV series will end satisfyingly. I kind of suspect it will, though, and how it will end.

Just finished a fic today and am planning for the next one. I set up for it at the end of this one.

I'm still getting commissions. I'm waiting on one now. It's impossible for me to resist a good deal on beautiful art of characters I love, especially when it's being made especially for me!

I'm also finally advancing on my doll project. I can't remember if I discussed getting one for Radley's friend Scotch. I also just got one to be the one I call Biff. I'm looking into some more right now. I love the My Scene dolls. They're taller than the ones I have for Radley and Kalin, but the heads align, which is the main thing I'm concerned about. I'll probably end up having all of the boy My Scene dolls before the project is through, and multiples of characters with vastly different hair in releases, like River, who can hence play two or three Bunch members.

I have three Kalin and Radley doujinshis. I love them very much. There are others out there, but I haven't got my hands on physical copies yet.

I've been making a lot of home-cooked meals lately, as with my various problems with food this past year I've needed to do my own versions of them. I've made lots of waffles and enjoy it quite a bit. I also discovered I can make chili. Yum. And while most fake cheese just doesn't cut it, I do like the kinds that Morningstar and Daiya use in their meals. Daiya makes it with garbanzo beans! They've started selling it separately and I've been making pizzas with it.

I'm driving again, which is extremely momentous for me. Unlike before, I'm actually enjoying it and not crippled by fear. I honestly believe God has always used YGO to improve my life. YGO Classic caused me to learn how to write and draw far better and make many friends, some of whom are still friends. Because of my love of Radley in 5Ds, I started wanting to ride a motorcycle. But you have to have a regular driver's license first. So I finally felt ready to try again after the traumatizing experience I had years ago. I got my learner's permit and have been driving since October. I will be trying for the full license soon. I prayed and prayed for years on help conquering my fear of driving and nothing worked until Radley came along. Thank You, God.

I hope you've had an amazing day, my friend. Maybe you've been visiting with other loved ones up there or even seeing favorite celebrities, if they are giving new concerts up there. Maybe spare a thought or two for those of us down here who miss you so much. I know you miss us too. I wish there was an IM service that connected to Heaven. Wouldn't that be the most incredible thing? Then it really would be like you are still here in some fashion. Although for your family, it certainly wouldn't be the same, but still so much better than not really being able to ever communicate anymore.

We're having plumbing problems with the kitchen sink again, just like we were the night I found out you'd died. This really isn't the way I wanted to commemorate your birthday. I'd rather write a sweet friendship ficlet.

I miss our late-night chats so much. Usually I can't even think much about them because it hurts too much knowing there will never be any more of them.

I never even had the chance to say Goodbye.

Happy Birthday. I wish it was like old times and I'd have a card and a present for you. Instead, all I have is this, well wishes, and lots of tears.

It has been extremely stressful almost from the time I last wrote anything here. I discovered the worst pain I have ever had in my life, which seems to have been caused by rupturing ovarian cysts, and I'm still trying to get my body back to normal. There's other cysts that may or may not be cancerous, although the doctor doesn't really think they are. He didn't even see the ultrasound pictures, though! He just read the hospital's report! We're waiting to see if the blasted things shrink on their own while I try some natural remedies and foods that are supposed to help. The doctor doesn't think food has anything to do with it, but I've found that my problems and the pain seem to pivot around foods. I've mostly felt a lot better and I discovered standing and walking are very helpful. I racked up a horrific bill just from the tests they did and I'm trying to qualify for Medicaid. I just thought everything was okay and now they seem to be demanding I redo all the information again?! WTH?! Aurgh! I tried to call them on Friday but couldn't get anyone and I'll have to try again tomorrow.

My birthday was peaceful, at least, but low-key. I still haven't had my outing. We were hoping to try for this coming week, but now we have a new house problem to deal with, as our bathroom light fixture decided to bork and now we have to light it with nightlights. We've been having so many house problems the last few months, mostly plumbing but also some electric issues. Our water pressure is horrendous. It's been wrecked ever since the city forced new pipes on everyone last year, and it's gotten worse for us in the last several months.

To compensate for no outing, I bought a lot of things online to have for my birthday. It was fun, but it doesn't take the place of physically visiting a store. It's the whole experience that's so fun, not just buying things. Although the irony is that I likely wouldn't be able to find much of anything I want in a physical store. It seems like what I want is either cheaper online or only available online.

Some other, more minor stressful things happened the past week, but because of my emotional state dealing with my health problems they tipped me over the edge. It's ironic and frustrating that I really try so hard to control myself online, but the few times I just can't take it anymore I get branded as some kind of horrible thing. Also ironic is that while they're thinking how awful I am, I'm emotionally tearing myself to pieces for weeks afterward because I said or did something that hurt someone. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and have for years. I've never been officially diagnosed, but reading up on the symptoms certainly matches my states of mind when I go into those ways and I fully believe I have an anxiety disorder. I would love to talk to a therapist, but we can't afford that either. And I certainly can't think about that when we're not sure the Medicaid went through. If I can really qualify for ongoing Medicaid and not just temporary, maybe then I can consider a therapist. I only really realized how badly I needed one two and a half years ago when I sank into a really bad depression and self-loathing state. A friend who is a therapist in another state really helped me a lot to be able to pull out of it. If only she lived here. I had a small-scale setback into such a state this past week because of those stressful things and what happened because of them. That friend plus other friends have been helping me pull out of it again and helping me see that I'm not the scum of the earth, which is how I was feeling.

I also lapsed into another frantic "Buy, buy, buy!" mode this past week, like I did in April when the lockdown started. Apparently that's going to be a thing with me now and I've developed full-blown retail therapy problems when under extreme stress. Although at least I'm not buying up everything under the sun; I still study things out for days to get what I really want. This round I wanted YGO things and I bought an official YGO coloring book and one of the Scholastic character guides, this one focusing on the villains. I wish I'd known about all these wonderful YGO things Scholastic put out at the time. I was looking and looking for things like that and could never find them. Apparently they did a whole line of character guides in 2006. I wonder why they waited until then. That was when the show ended!

I wrote all of the Whumptober prompts into a connected storyline and am posting them. I was delayed for several days when the worst of my physical pains were happening, but I've got back on track and am posting on the correct days again. I'm trying to do the Comfortember ones too, but they aren't plunnying me as much, so I'm not sure I'll do all of them. But I don't have any other story ideas other than expanding one of Nesbitt's hallucinations into a full fic really happening and taking place in another verse, so I want to keep trying. I love to write and feel like to not be able to is to lock part of my soul away.

The hallucination I want to expand is for Dartz to trick Nesbitt into using the Orichalcos. For some reason I've been wanting to write a storyline similar to Mai's season 4 arc. I don't know why, really, because that was gut-wrenching. But I finally figured out how to work it in a way I like. Nesbitt is feeling horrible because of his weakness in almost abandoning the others in Noa's world, so Dartz preys on that and tells him the Orichalcos will make him strong. In Nesbitt's state of mind, he believes that and thinks it will help him be a better friend, so he accepts it and then it corrupts him. He has no idea about soul-stealing or swallowing the world with a giant sea snake until after it corrupts him, which seemed to be the same with Mai in canon. In the dub, at least, Dartz most certainly doesn't tell her any of those things until she agrees to accept it. You can see in her face that the corruption is instantaneous. Very chilling.

As much as I love and adore Lector and have given him some of my personality traits in how I write for him, I really went to town with Nesbitt and base him on me even more. His insecurities, his struggles with his weaknesses, blurting things out he shouldn't and beating himself up over it, his asexuality, is all based on me. In the Japanese he doesn't seem to have some of his issues, like wanting to pretend he's a machine, so I deliberately write him based on the dub version because I find his manias so interesting and a writing goldmine. I do, however, use his Japanese backstory in how Seto treats him, which was even more appalling than in the dub. He tells Nesbitt not to get underfoot when the new engineer arrives, aurgh. So cruel when Nesbitt was the top engineer! (And semi-related, I read a short fic on Crump based on the Japanese version where Seto said something horrible to him when he brought the idea of a penguin sanctuary and theme park, something about crushing Crump like a soda can if he didn't drop the idea?! If that was really what he said in the Japanese, horrible! And of course, Seto learned all that kind of behavior from Gozaburo. So sickening how Gozaburo poisoned that once-innocent mind.) Honestly, aside from them letting Pegasus take Mokuba, I'm more on the Big Five's side than Seto's, up to the point where they first start messing with virtual reality. As horrible as Seto treated them, that wasn't justified. I wish the dub hadn't inserted a murder plot in season 1 that didn't exist. I can't even watch that episode in the original dub anymore because that sickens me so. I always watch it in the uncut dub instead. I'm glad that was one of the few episodes that made it into the uncut dub.

I'm still getting pictures from ElfBean. Her latest is from my fic where Lector is a vigilante and I just adore it so much!

I feel like drawing a picture of Lector laying on his bed in his dress shirt and pants and tie, looking up at the ceiling. Usually it's Nesbitt I depict without his suitcoat, but after an RP scene I feel like I really want to show Lector like that too, squeee. He would look amazing! (Of course, he always looks amazing, heh.)

I had a really awesome and fun dream the other day about playing a video game where the player is interacting with the Big Five. Their memories have been mysteriously wiped and the goal is to help them find something they're looking for and restore their memories. It would work great as a visual novel type game, and apparently there are sites where people can make games like that without years of programming lessons! I definitely want to try it out! I have the sprites from the Nightmare Troubadour game that would be perfect to use in it! They looked so amazing in that game!

This is the checklist of everything I've bought for my birthday and a bit afterwards:

- Set of the first four Anna & Elsa chapter books set after the first Frozen
- The most recent Frozen 5 Minute Stories collection, the red cover one
- Frozen Blu-Ray and DVD combo (if we ever get a Blu-Ray, I can see all the cool bonus content!)
- Star Wars Qui-Gon Jinn 12 inch figure
- Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi from episode 1 12 inch figure
- Yu-Gi-Oh! Twisted Nightmares double deck set of Yami Bakura and Yami Marik (sooo awesome and perfect for my Yami Bakura memorabilia collection! There's a game mat with characters on it, and Skill cards with them on them, and cards at the beginning of the decks with them on them.)
- Halloween face mask that says Trick or Treat in an eerie font, perfect to use with my recycled Yami Bakura costume this year
- Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Chaos coloring book
- Yu-Gi-Oh! uncut dub volume 2, The Insector Combo (the only volume of uncut I don't have, and I finally decided I wanted it)
- Yu-Gi-Oh! character guide to villains
- Autumn socks

I have Johnson, am waiting for Crump to ship, and chose a Gansley. Have to scrape together a little more money before I can get him, since I had to jump on an auction for the figure I chose as Crump. I'm waiting on a payout from one survey company and am close to getting one from another. I don't think I'll say which figures will be Crump and Gansley until I have them in hand. Definitely excited to get them all! Although I'll probably feel a little sad when this project is over. It's been a lot of fun. I of course was not able to get the figure I wanted so badly for Crump. Just too expensive! But using a little imagination I found one that will transform into an amazing Crump with a little paint.

I continue to document the figure project on my YouTube vlog under my LuckyLadybug66 account. I also finally finished the Lumis and Umbra plushies: http://meromeroyui.deviantart.com

I feel like buying the Barbie helicopter and seeing if Nesbitt can fly it, lol. It can be purchased for under $20 at some places! I'm surprised. It reminds me of when I was able to get the convertible car for $10, and it's a huge car, unlike the tiny one they're selling now!

I was able to get the Siegfried and Joey fic done. It ended up being short, but it's just the beginning of the new Viking arc. That will continue in stories as I see fit. Right now, I mainly want to write cute slice-of-life and maybe gratuitous hurt/comfort, like the Midnight Garden fic I finally sorted out and have almost done. I'm doing a fic now where each Big 5 member gets interviewed by Lana Allisen, my human version of the muppet merdog Lana Afghana from Benji at Marineland (lol). I was so obsessed with her that I made two plushies and some snow creations years ago. I created the human version when I was starting my second mainstream Rockford Files fic and needed a reporter. After getting reminded that Lana fell in love with Benji in the special, my human version develops a crush on Nesbitt and already has one on Lector as the story opens. Of course, Nesbitt is adorably oblivious to this. Lector is aware, and probably feels awkward that yet another person is crushing on him, hee.

I know my Viking Arc probably looks meager to anyone who read the original, unfinished version in Der Engel des Todes years ago. I was definitely setting up for something big there. But I hope this will be big in its own way, as it unfolds. Maybe I can do a version of the Der Engel thing with Siegfried's secretary being a Valkyrie in disguise, etc.

I know I'm probably unlikely to be able to have my usual birthday shopping spree this year, thanks to the #$&Y#*(&$( virus. I think I'll just plain plan on a virtual shopping spree instead, and then I can be pleasantly surprised if it turns out I'll be able to go out after all. I should start saving some money for my birthday, but I need to finish my project first! And then there are other things I want that are on eBay deadlines, so who knows when I'll be able to save much other than Amazon gift cards!

I had a pretty awesomely weird dream the other day that would be really fun to make into a fic sometime. It was a Wild Wild West dream and had Jim and Arte investigating this saloon/casino place. They found that Lucrece Posey was running it, and that Snakes was serving as her right-hand man. It seemed to be an AU where Snakes and not Ascot Sam was the sole male survivor of the gang, and weirder, where he was the only one who had remained loyal to Miss Posey. When I woke up, I really wanted to do something with it, but AU usually feels so cheap to me and I wanted to figure out if I could make it work in my established canon-compliant timeline. I came up with the thought of a mad scientist, maybe Dr. Faustina, experimenting with brainwashing and amnesia drugs and managing to alter Posey and Snakes' memories so they think something different happened than what did. Jim and Arte stumble into this mess and are utterly baffled. Maybe they are also part of the experiment and Dr. Faustina has made them forget all about time-traveling to the future and Snakes turning over a new leaf, etc., and they only remember their initial encounter with the gang and are stunned by Snakes being alive, not to mention loyal to Miss Posey. Eventually they do remember and have to try to get Posey and Snakes to remember.

I had a lovely birthday. At first we weren't sure if we'd even be able to go out because the weather was supposed to be wonky, but it ended up being fine for most of the time we were out and it was a wonderful outing. I ended up being able to get some of the retro My Little Ponies from Target after all. I asked for a couple, and I received those, and I also bought a couple more. I also got the Kelly figure. Kris, of course, is not out yet. But she is on the website, and I'm seriously considering ordering her there since it could be months before stores get her.

Build-a-Bear once again didn't send a birthday coupon, and this year I'm wondering if they've stopped the birthday coupons in favor of that Count Your Candles thing, which isn't nearly as good since it's only for one specific plush and only benefits the kids. There are lots of adult shoppers too, and they should still be considered. I don't know if I want to call and ask about the coupon this year or not. Last year I got someone who thought I was a moron, sigh. She didn't even seem to know about the birthday coupons. It seemed like a problem for everyone born in October that they hadn't got their coupon and eventually they were sent out in the latter part of the month, and the coupons were good through November to make up for the mess.

Anyway, I didn't miss the coupon too much this year. I do kind of hope I can get another Lalaloopsy before she's gone, but meanwhile I found something actually exciting at The Disney Store. They haven't had a very interesting plushie section for years; it's so streamlined from what it used to be. But they had Oliver and Dodger as part of a 30th anniversary celebration of Oliver and Company, and they were running a plushie sale that made each of them $12. I had to get them both. I'm wondering now if I should have also got Lady, or at least seen whether she was part of the sale too. I was so excited about Dodger and then about Oliver too that I wasn't thinking at the time, but I only have a puppy Lady plush. I've always wanted an adult Lady too. Eh, maybe I'll get to go back soon and check. Anyway, they seem to run plushie sales a lot, interestingly. Most times I've gone, it seems like they're having one.

I also got this awesome Nancy Drew computer game with a haunted mansion and a ghost. It looks like maybe there really is something supernatural going on in addition to the probable fraud. I hope so. It's a really fun game so far. I love puzzle games, especially with mansions and ghosts! There's a cemetery on the grounds too. So creepy! And it's giving me some possible ideas for my YGO Bad End Night fic.

There were other fun things too: a lovely card and a fun blurb with Bakura and Yami Bakura from Crystal, Ladyamberjo sent the movie Coco, and other things from my parents included a card, the My Little Pony movie (the one from last year, not the 1980s one), the 90 Minutes in Heaven movie, a gorgeous autumn leaf necklace, and Roma Downey's Box Of Butterflies book (totally a surprise there, but a thrilling one!). An aunt sent a card plus a couple of DVDs and a couple of books, all romance, which isn't a surprise. I think she's trying to get me interested in romance. Everything looks interesting, though, and one of the DVDs is four Christmas movies, and there can never be too many Christmas movies. I actually saw one of them last year when I was with my friend and she had the Hallmark Channel on in the background. It was a very cheesy movie but kind of cute and sweet, and I actually had kind of wanted it, so I'm excited about that. One of the books also sounds like it has some friendship stuff going on in addition to the romance plot, so I'm anxious to see how that goes.

I really felt like a kid again this year. It was amusing, being surrounded by Ponies and Disney plushies, but it felt so good. For a little while it was kind of like I was ten again, when I was first longing for more Oliver and Company plushies.

I also figured out my Amazon order. It looks like the OS for the cheapest Fire tablet is an older one, based on Android's Lollipop. I'm not sure if Duel Links would even run on an OS that old, at least, not for very long. I think I'll wait on a tablet and maybe I can get a good deal on a more recent one over Black Friday weekend next month. For my order, I'm getting Charlie's Angels, It's a Miracle, and the Secret Agent set. Scrolling through my list of stuff, I suddenly felt like I really wanted to get that. We never did get to see all the episodes because Netflix lost one or two of the discs, and the ones we did see were mostly good. I remember there being very few duds in that series, and I was ecstatic when the boxset came out. I doubted I could ever get it, but I added it to my list anyway. Squee, the set even has all of both series, the thirty-minute one and the hour-long one! So excited to see those again, and to see the ones we missed. (And LOL, the actress who played Miss Posey is in the first episode of the thirty-minute series.)

I also located some good shirts on eBay and bid on one that looks about perfect. With any luck, maybe I can pull off a halfway decent Halloween costume after all.

Been nostalgic today, remembering a shopping trip from nine years ago. I was looking for Ninja Turtles and Sonic merchandise. Maybe other stuff too, but that's mostly what I remember. I went to Big Lots, Rite Aid, Toys R Us, and maybe F.Y.E.

At Rite Aid I saw a Turtles plush, but it was made out of a really annoying non-furry and non-smooth material that catches fingernails. And it was of Michelangelo, who at that time I didn't like. He annoyed the heck out of me in the 2003 series, which was my main focus at that time. But he'd always kind of annoyed me; I remember thinking he was an idiot in the one Archie Comic I had. I wish I'd been able to see some of the other Archie Comics they did for the Turtles, because I've since learned that Michelangelo really had some powerful storylines! I think it was only a couple of years ago when I really began appreciating Michelangelo, both because of how he began developing in my fic verse and because of the long conversations I had with ThickerThanLove, a devoted Michelangelo fan. Hilariously, he's now my second favorite Turtle in the 87 verse. Haven't revisited the 2003 series much, so I'm not as sure how he stacks up there now, but I did rewatch my DVDs of the first few episodes a couple of years ago and only found him super annoying in the first one. I'm glad I didn't get that plush, though. I've found much nicer Turtles plushies of all of them.

At Big Lots I saw the game made for the TMNT movie. I seriously considered getting it; it looked like a blast. But from the system requirements, it looked like it would probably only work on Dad's computer, and I didn't think he'd appreciate that much. And I wasn't crazy about the thought of being downstairs to play it, either. At this house my computers have been upstairs, and I like that much better.

At Toys R Us I found a DVD of Sonic Underground with all four Knuckles episodes gathered together. Those were the only episodes of Underground I really wanted, so I was thrilled and bought it. That ended up being my only purchase of the trip, although I may have seen some other things I liked. Those are the memories that stand out the most for me.

I've been in a bit of a Sonic mood tonight. I meant to install Sonic R and Sonic Heroes on the computer in the hall, but I haven't got around to it yet. I switched the computer that was first in the hall with one that was downstairs that has more memory. I want to use it as a gaming computer. But I've only played Duel Links for my gaming sessions since I finally got to have it, so all other gaming projects have been on hold.

I've also thought a lot about Toys R Us. Of course, how could I not? I haven't been able to fully accept that the U.S. stores are now gone. Part of that may be because I didn't see it at the last. I was last there when I bought Sailor Mars, and they still had a lot of stuff. Maybe in the future I'll regret not seeing them at the last, but right now I'm fine with it. It makes it easier to remember it as it was. But it also helps to know that the store lives on in Canada and overseas. Even though I'll likely never visit any of those locations, it's just comforting to know they're there. The brand isn't dead, like my beloved Borders is.

The brand has certainly changed, though. It's been years since the days when I could almost always find something there I wanted to buy. The last several times, even before the liquidation, I wanted desperately to help give them business and I just couldn't find the things I wanted. I think the last thing I bought there before the liquidation was the Baxter figure I turned into Barney, and that was in February 2017. I did see Miraculous Ladybug stuff I wanted, and I remember wanting to get in on a BOGO half-off sale on dolls, but there was only one Marionette doll and nothing else I could combine her with. Now the dolls and figures aren't anywhere to be found except online, and usually for bad prices. But after hearing how the dolls often fall apart, I am horrified and think maybe it's for the best. But seriously, WTH Bandai? You're a big name brand. Where's your quality control?

There are so many happy memories of Toys R Us through the years, starting from around age 5, when my brother discovered it after my beloved Play World went out of business. I was skeptical that any store could be as good as Play World, and I think I was initially lukewarm to Toys R Us, but it didn't take long and I warmed up to them and loved them. It was my favorite place aside from home. I was always asking to go there, especially if we were out doing other errands. I remember one time Dad needed to talk to some guy about I think a computer problem, and the guy was really nice and let me play these fun arcade games he had set up while I waited. Afterwards, I asked to go to Toys R Us and we went to the one East of us.

They were there through all of my Sonic love up to now. I remember when Sonic and Knuckles was going to come out and they had a banner with the logo and my eight-year-old self overdramatically proclaimed it "Beautiful!" Heh. Then when the game really came out, it was on display and I got to play it a bit. The Loop-De-Loops baffled me. Later, I also played a little of Sonic Adventure 2 Battle there. Probably other Sonic games through the years too, but that's what I remember most. And the Tiger Electronics handheld games. I have two of them and always meant to get the other Sonic one, but never did.

All of my Talespin and Darkwing Duck figures came from there, and my Donatello figure. A lot of my childhood Ponies, too. I remember how proud I was to take my carefully saved money and buy a Magic Meadow Pony when they came out following the demise of G1 My Little Ponies in America.

Of course I went through a period where I mostly wasn't interested in visiting Toys R Us. After I discovered Yu-Gi-Oh!, that all changed. I went there so much again after that. We used to get milk from a dairy because Dad was obsessed with natural products without lots of added chemicals, and I was fine with that. We got to get ice cream cones from the dairy and then go to one of the Toys R Uses on the way back. I loved all the Toys R Uses, but for YGO visits I probably got the most sentimental about that one. We went there every couple of weeks when we needed milk. So many happy memories of those trips....

(And I hardly ever use makeup. Example: I bought two tubes of lipstick around then, when I was 16, and ... I still have some left. Occasionally I still use it. The smell will forever remind me of YGO and those shopping trips.)

I remember visiting a Toys R Us shortly after I first discovered YGO. We'd been to a wedding reception and were coming back and I stopped there and was looking in a magazine. Then we hurried on home so I could watch and record YGO that afternoon, LOL. It was one of the Seto vs. Yugi trilogy from season 1. I think it was part 1, and yet another part of me thinks it was part 3.

I remember calling them asking about YGO figures, and then going and seeing them. Just the small ones then, but I was happy for any. When the big ones came out, I was over the moon. I ordered Seto online, not sure when the stores would get them, and then he arrived on August 1st. We were going out later that day, visited the standard YGO Toys R Us, and I found the figures were out. Heh. Of course. So I bought Yami Yugi that same day. (That winter I found Joey at Walmart and asked for him as a New Year's present. About a year later, after five months of searching, I found the big Marik figure at ShopKo. I wish they'd made more human characters, in both figure sizes.... I don't know why Yami Bakura wasn't made, for instance, since he has always been a very popular character. Now there's a gorgeous figure of him, but it's far too expensive.)

My 16th birthday I usually cite as my happiest one, although I've had many happy ones. That one was my first after getting interested in YGO. I got the board game among my presents, which thrilled me, and on the shopping spree that year I bought my first two YGO shirts, which I'd previously selected as things I wanted to buy. One was gray with Seto and Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, the other was electric blue with Yami Yugi. Most future YGO shirts came from Walmart (with the exception of my first Marik shirt, bought at Target), but those first two were from Toys R Us. Although I think one was at Kids R Us, so we must have been at the Toys R Us where I recently bought Sailor Mars, as it was the one with a Kids R Us next-door.

Many years ago I started a tradition of wanting to go to Toys R Us on my birthday. I think my 8th birthday was the first year that was done. Later the plan expanded to include other stores. A couple of years I didn't make it to Toys R Us in favor of other stores that had more of what I wanted.

I think the last point in time when Toys R Us had many things I wanted was around 2009, when I was having fun with Sonic stuff. Figures, clothes, fun memorabilia. . . . Then Sonic Boom came along a few years later and pretty much all merchandise was Boom. I still haven't tried Boom; I detest what they did to Knuckles' personality. The changed design was bad enough, but I could have dealt with that if they hadn't ruined his personality. Finally the ban on other merchandise lifted, but I don't recall seeing any Sonic stuff at Toys R Us other than Boom, except the recent classic Sonic plush and maybe one or two other classic design items. Last year on my birthday trip, I was very sad that I couldn't find any Sonic stuff there at all.

There were other fun times.... One year I had a very Mario birthday. At Toys R Us I bought the Mario backpack plush for $14.99 and a shirt on clearance for $2! And I got a free Mario scarf because they were running a promotion of getting a free scarf with purchase of Nintendo stuff. I felt a little guilty at first to be buying Mario instead of Sonic, even though I'd always loved Mario too. I quickly got over such silly feelings, especially since having a Mario plush was always a dream of mine!

And now I'd probably better close this topic, as I'm starting to get sad really thinking that those times are over and there won't be any more unless that businessman saves the U.S. stores. I'm not even sure if he's still trying, but he said he'd even be willing to get the empty buildings just to save the store. That was some months ago, though.

I did, however, finally decide after days of deliberating, what I wanted most to buy with some of my video conference money. Of course, in the end, what I wanted most was a lot of YGO Hexors that included the Yami Bakura one and a lot of pins that had the Yami Bakura one. Both were a little more than I wanted to pay, especially for the pins, but they really were an amazing price. And at the moment I could afford it, so I decided to do it. No regrets! I am so thrilled to finally have those things that I looked so hard for years ago. I bought as many boxes of Hexors as I could, trying to find the Yami Bakura one, and I went to so many 7-11s looking for the Yami Bakura pin. I'm really happy to have the Mai pin too. It's really nice and I've always liked her since she started to develop around episode 11. I thought the Seto pin was the same one I had, but it's not. The pose is the same, but it's a totally different pin, much sturdier and more collector's quality. Then the Joey pin is neat, and even though I'm not a Pegasus fan aside from scenes of him being awesomely helpful in the movie or setting the souls free because he's a man of his word, I do like his pin. I think I have every pin in the set except Yami Yugi, and I'm hoping to get him to complete it. At the moment, though, just so thrilled to have the Yami Bakura merchandise.

I also decided to make a Bakura plush. I have my cute little one, and so of course I felt guilty to bring in a second one, but that first, commissioned Bakura is in scale with my commissioned Yami Bakura in Thief King form but not with the Yami Bakura I recently made. I thought it was sad for him to not have a Bakura too. So, I made one. Everything went so well! I made most of the plushie on the 4th, and then I did the shirt this weekend. Not sure if I'll make the sweater. If I do, I'll change the design and have it open so the pretty turquoise shirt will still be visible. http://meromeroyui.deviantart.com

Thanks to circumstances out of my control, I was, as I feared, not able to do my shopping thing on my birthday. And I wasn't able to celebrate at all until late in the day. But I got some awesome things, including the Orange Islands set and The Loner, which actually isn't as much of a downer show as I was led to believe. It's great so far! I'm so glad I decided to ask for it. I only did because Dad initially couldn't find the Pokemon set, as the clerk and the computer system were both inefficient.

I finally got to do the shopping thing this past night, whereupon I got the bat and also the second Sailor V manga. I also discovered that Barnes and Noble is clearancing most of the first line of Sailor Moon Figuarts figures for 50%! They didn't have the ones I wanted most, unfortunately, and none of them seem to have Mercury, alas. But Chibi Moon seems to be around at some stores up North, and I just so happen to have another chance to go up that way this weekend! So I may get her, and if I do, I may pick up another character while I'm at it because these prices are incredible. There won't be another chance to get them this low, I imagine. Once they disappear from physical stores, the prices will probably only go up.

My Venus is gorgeous, by the way. I changed her expression to the perky one and she's so cute! I have her holding Artemis. I could get Super Sailor Moon among these clearance ones, but I'd rather have the original Sailor Moon who comes with Luna. I don't think Super Sailor Moon does. I couldn't seem to see a Luna in the package. I will probably keep a look-out for the original Sailor Moon on Saturday. I also may try to find Jupiter, as she seems to be hard to get. I'm sure I saw one at this Barnes and Noble before, so she was apparently already bought when they went on clearance. Neptune and Saturn I don't think I've ever seen in the wild.

I've had some oddball things happen, like not being able to get the birthday coupon from Build-a-Bear yet. At first the lady on the phone didn't know what I was talking about. Then I got sent an expired coupon. When I asked, the lady on the email was chagrined that she'd sent an expired one and said they didn't have any for the current month yet. WTH. She'd send one when they come in. But I decided I should get the bat tonight, in case she'd sell out or the coupon would only come when I wouldn't have a chance to go or something. I think I made the right choice. I had a little more remaining on the gift card than I thought, so that was awesome. And there were only four of her in the bin! Yikes! I was told they would restock, though. But I'm glad I got her. She's even more incredible in person! I'm going to put her next to Milly and they can be best buds.

Another oddball thing is that the seller I messaged asking about the unsealed box doesn't seem to have answered. That's the third seller in a row who hasn't answered an eBay message from me. That seems too weird, so I wonder if the problem is on my end. But there is a place at eBay for messages from members, so even if the email copy didn't come through, it seems like I'd find the messages there if they replied. So bizarre. Why are sellers suddenly not responding to me?!

While at Barnes and Noble, I slightly debated returning the manga to get a figure instead, but I really want a figure in addition to the manga. I've been wanting the other Sailor V volume for years and this was a great time to buy. For some reason, Barnes and Noble is doing 10% off all book buys until the 23rd! Very unusual! That said, if I'd found the figures on clearance before I bought the manga, I might not have bought it. But once I did, I didn't want to return it. The figures on clearance, ironically, were over where Dad was waiting, the one place I hadn't thought to check for clearance stuff. So after I bought the manga and Mom and I were going to get him, suddenly I saw them and we were there a while longer.

I really wanted to buy something at Toys R Us and give them business, but I just couldn't find anything I wanted that much. The one thing I might have bought, a Miraculous Ladybug doll, was part of a BOGO 50% off sale, only there weren't any other characters left that I could include, save for the expensive two-doll pack that I can't get right now. So maybe I'll check another Toys R Us on Saturday. I could have just bought the one doll by herself, but I felt I'd rather see if I could find two at another store and then decide whether to buy. I might not because of the Sailor Moon figure sale.

It was really sad being there. Their plushie section has seriously dwindled. Unless it's moving elsewhere in the store, there weren't any FAO Schwartz plushies anymore. No Maine Coon cat. There isn't even a Sonic section! I found one lonely Knuckles plushie and nothing else. And they've reduced their Turtles section. And of what's still there, no new 87 keychains beyond what was there before. And all Mega Construx Turtles stuff is being clearanced out. So sad. Of course, the latter isn't a Toys R Us problem but something Mega Construx is doing all over. I think the Mutagen Canisters are not clearancing out, but regardless, Toys R Us didn't have any. Sad. I still need to pick up another Baxter to make into Barney for my dA friend, and I wonder if I should get a second one to have on hand here in case someone else wants one and they do clearance out and disappear. I don't know, though; all Wal-Marts other than mine seem to be stocked pretty good on the Canisters right now. Seriously, though, Toys R Us getting rid of stuff like the FAO Schwartz plushies and reducing what's available to buy doesn't seem like a good move when they're already in financial trouble. They should hang onto their merchandise unless they find they have to get rid of it. And I always wanted that Maine Coon, but there was rarely ever a sale. If I see it at another Toys R Us, maybe I should get it.

Before I went out, I debated things to get at Barnes and Noble and another thing I considered was that Leonardo and Mousers set. That was the only place I've ever seen it, but now it wasn't there anymore. But eh, it's a little cheaper on Amazon anyway. Also, the Technodrome set is down to $104 on Amazon! Still more than I want to spend on one toy, but that is awesome! I wish the Splinter would be available some other way, though, because I'm afraid I'll never get to have him.

I've been enjoying the Pokemon episodes, watching old favorites and seeing others I don't remember or never actually saw. I think Pikachu Re-Volts is my new favorite episode, heh. I try to avoid rewatches until I've gone through everything, but I might have to watch that one again soon anyway. I still like Holy Matrimony!, except for cringing at how Jessie and Meowth kept trying to force James to go home and marry against his will. I loved when he finally had enough and yelled at them! But it's not the episode with James talking about the marble house. I wonder what episode that was.

Misty hasn't frightened me with her temper yet, but I'm sure she will soon. In the episodes I've seen so far, though, she was in the right to be frustrated or angry. I love when she exclaims, "James is right here!" when everybody starts bawling at the Little Match Girl story James starts telling with himself in the role. LOL. And Ash was being a jerk in The Ghost of Maiden's Peak and insulting her, and he and Brock were both being a little annoying in The Purr-fect Hero. That said, a paper fan shouldn't hurt and it looked like it hurt, so I don't like them making it look like Misty hurt them when there's no logical reason why that would have hurt.

I'm still considering updating my old fic, but I'm thinking I would probably leave the original up. Someone was actually reading it yesterday. And liking it, incredibly. I think I might call the new version Dead and Alive: Director's Cut or some such, because if I leave the old one up, I need some way of identifying the new one as being connected with it.

I also got an intense Turtles plunnie after reading a series of blurbs a friend has been showing me. I immediately wrote a blurb, love it, and want to write a full-length fic. But the bat one is supposed to be next and I've already made a dent in it. It doesn't absolutely have to be next, though, so I wonder if I may write back and forth on the two fics at once and whichever one is done first will go up next. My attention is wavering again. As much as I like to write slice-of-life or humorous fics as breaks, it doesn't take long and I'm anxious to do more character-developing intense stuff and squee again.

So, as people might expect from me by now, I still haven't bought those dolls. I want them, but I'm getting irritated that the price of the add-on one keeps increasing. It increased once shortly after I added her to my cart, and then the next day she had increased in price again! By now she really shouldn't be considered an add-on anymore. Since her low price was probably the main reason I was going to buy right then, the second price-raising, combined with the aggravation of online sales tax, made me decide to hold off for now. We'll see what happens after my birthday, I think.

Then there's another factor. I've wanted the Figuarts Sailor Moon figures since they first started coming out, but I wasn't willing or able to blow $50 on one figure. I check in on them every now and then, hoping for better prices. And I want to make sure I'm getting the genuine article and not a bootleg.

A couple of nights ago, frustrated with my hesitation to order the Everfree dolls, I started randomly browsing for Sailor Moon dolls and some neat listings for the Figuarts popped up too. One was a Buy It Now, but I wasn't impressed with the seller. The others were auctions, and I am impressed with the seller. I'm assuming they were listed low because the seller hoped a bid war would start. They're genuine, as I learned how to spot bootlegs. One already had a couple of bids. The other, incredibly, still does not. I happened upon things shortly before the first auction would end, and I considered trying to jump in and get the first figure. In the end, still conflicted, I didn't. Maybe I would have if I'd had more time to decide. I get really rattled when I have to decide something right away like that.

I think maybe I didn't jump in too because I was thinking if I won, I'd ask the seller if he'd combine shipping if I won the other auction as well, and part of me was thinking I wouldn't be able to afford two, even at the incredible price. But if I asked, I might for some reason end up getting the other regardless and spending more than I felt I should. And maybe I felt a little bad to take her away from the high bidder, heh. I don't like to do that and always feel a little bad to do it, even though I know all's fair in auctions. This last reason alone wouldn't have stopped me from bidding, however. It was mostly thinking a bid war would start and worrying about money. I do feel kind of sad for not trying to jump in and get her. I was worried too, I think, that an impulse bid might leave me with buyer's regret and I'd panic all over. For a product like this, maybe that wouldn't have happened, though.

Now the second one's auction will end soon and the lack of bids makes me want to give it a shot. Even with the shipping price, she would be way less than what I could get her for in a store. And since she is genuine, and one of my favorites, I feel like I want to and should try for her. I may not have a chance anyway, as bids could suddenly appear at the last moment, but I want to try. Oddly, the first one never got any more bids after that first two. I was stunned.

So ... I guess we'll see what happens. If I do get her, I'll probably save her for opening on my birthday, same as the DVD set. Like with Belle two years ago, saving for then feels like a challenge, and that if I break it, I'll be spoiling something for my birthday.

There is one other I'm considering too. She's a little more than these, but still way better then what I'd find in a store. Part of me says if I get one, I'll stop there. The other part says I'll only want the others even more after getting one. The latter is probably closer to the truth when it comes to something awesome like these.

After weeks, I'm finally out of the horrible Marble Zone in Sonic 1! **dances.** And as a demonstration of how awful that zone is, by comparison, when I got to Spring Hill Zone or whatever it's called, I got through the first two acts within a few minutes of arriving! I'm still in the third act and it's slightly annoying, but nothing like Marble Zone! Ugh, that zone was not fun at all. Whoever designed that zone must have been a sadist. All the lava pits and bats knocking you into lava pits when you finally thought you'd cleared them, and so many ways to fall down through the zone when it was almost complete....

I was seriously thinking of deleting the game and not even trying to finish it because Marble was giving me so much trouble. And yet I was really sure that eventually, somehow, I'd make it out. I am so glad I did. But unless I can unlock Tails or Knuckles and find new ways through that horrible place, I'm not going to want to replay the game because of that zone.

Planning my shopping spree itinerary for my birthday. I think Toys R Us will be the headlining place, of course. So hoping I can find something there I'll be able to buy. I must give them business! But I also want to get to Build-a-Bear and get that beautiful new bat, check our favorite decor store while we're there and probably peek in The Disney Store and Hallmark too. Then I plan to get to Target and I think I should visit the party store right around the corner from it. Either of them might possibly help with the costume pieces. I usually also like to go to Wal-Mart. And getting a pizza is a must.

Also pondering whether to get those Lyra and Sweetie Drops dolls after all. They sold out of the Fashion style Starlight before I made up my mind, but they still have the dolls. But ironically, I think that when I add up the cost, they're going to be ONE CENT short of free shipping. **repeated headdesk.** So I'm not sure about that, since I'd need to add something else to the order. I still kind of want a Team Rocket shirt instead, but there I have the problem that if I get the design I saw at F.Y.E., you can clearly see what Jessie is wearing and Dad would go through the ceiling if he saw me wearing the shirt. Then the other design has Meowth in front of her so you can't see how skimpy it is, but it has "Prepare for trouble and make it double" around the picture, and he'd probably try to read that and I'd end up having to explain that the characters are antagonists. Whee. Fun times. I still haven't had the courage to say that Baxter, Barney, and Z are antagonists in canon. To me they're not antagonists and I didn't make plushies of bad guys because I'm thinking of my verse (and also that in canon, Baxter started out trying to be honest and only went bad when he got unstable and later cracked up), but Dad wouldn't be thrilled, I'm sure. Anyway, I should just forget the Team Rocket shirt idea, but now that I know there really are shirts with them, it's awfully hard to make myself stop wanting one.

Ah well. Now, on to the first proofread of Electric Soul! I imagine there will be two or three proofreads overall.