The Winter Court of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

It's been a strange month. Most of the rest of May was filled with misery. I thought I'd recorded this past misadventure somewhere, but I can't find it. About nine, ten years ago or maybe even more, I got in a way where I couldn't look at screen for very long and I'd have to take long breaks of just closing my eyes and resting them. Back then, simple reading glasses fixed it. This May, it hit me again and, after remembering when I had the problem before and that it was probably my eyes again, I tried the same solution. But stronger yet still simple readers wouldn't fix it. After a good eye exam, I was given a prescription for special reading glasses. They cost over $100, gah. But they have certainly helped! The first day I had them, I used them for a little bit and they definitely healed the trouble. I've been able to go about things mostly normally since then.

(However, my Amazon tablet seems to hurt my eyes more than my black tablet does. WTH. I thought it was my imagination at first, but now I have the glasses and the same thing happens on the Amazon tablet even with them, while I'm fine on the black tablet. Ugh. There's another solution or two I can try for the Amazon tablet that Ladyamberjo showed me, but if those don't work I'm not sure what to do. I hate to think I won't be able to use that tablet anymore.)

I decided the Nintendo 2DS was what I wanted most, shopping-wise, and another version became available, the one with Mario Maker. I got that and have been having fun with it. I also bought a couple of Sonic games in the eShop, the Game Gear ones with Nack the Weasel! Squeeee. And I finally got a good copy of Nightmare Troubadour using another Amazon gift card. I've been playing it this past week. Still haven't got to the juicy Big Five or Rare Hunter stuff yet, but I'm desperately hoping it's almost time. More duelists are gradually showing up, so surely we're about to get into the real plot.

Having the gaming system has sent me tripping through most of the game series I've had an interest in through the years. I've been bouncing back and forth between Sonic and Megaman, especially. I couldn't find any Megaman games I wanted that were compatible with my system, but I decided to look for a ROM of Megaman and Bass, which I wanted so desperately before. It hasn't been re-released and is out of print, so I felt a ROM was justified. I've been playing it and greatly enjoying it! I love playing as Bass, which was my dream years ago.

Finding a Megaman DVD at Dollar Tree fueled the Megaman kick this week. I was thrilled! Now I'm trying to find the one I wanted so badly for years, which is unfortunately one of the hardest discs to get, sigh. But I may be able to get one. We'll see.

(I also found a Full Moon wo Sagashite disc there! Squeeee. I don't think they ever finished releasing it in the West, sadly. Such a sweet series. I wanted to grab that up the instant I saw it there. I hope it's bilingual, as I prefer it in Japanese.)

I've also been bouncing back and forth between the .EXE and Classic branches of Megaman. I like both Basses for different reasons. The .EXE ones usually have tragic backstories, but are very dark. The Classic Bass isn't as dark, but also seems shallow in his obsession with defeating Megaman. Yet he has intriguing moments, like how he respects humans for creating robots instead of thinking he's superior to humans (although he thinks he's superior to other robots, heh). I also finally found a Bass plush. When I saw Megaman plushies at Barnes and Noble a while back, I looked for Bass but didn't see him. Great Eastern has released one now, and even though it's somewhat chibi-ish, I decided to get it since it seems to be the only Bass plushie made.

I remember someone who was reading my few Megaman fics didn't like me having Classic Bass end up sacrificing himself trying to save Megaman. Something about him being interesting enough without having to do that? I didn't really grasp it at the time, but older and more tired and cynical me gets it. I still love my hurt/comfort and self-sacrifice, though. And of course, I planned for Bass to be brought back, even though I stalled on the sequel. I did go in the fic and alter a few things, as I realized I made it sound like Bass deliberately let himself die when pushing Megaman to safety. I changed it so it's clear that he's trying to get out too, but just didn't make it.

(Also, if I ever continue the .EXE stories I was doing, I'll have Bass survive his sacrifice there. I found a blurb I wrote where he survived and Dr. Cossack, the man who created him and thinks of him as a son, finds him badly injured and brings him back with him. This was a verse where the NetNavis were released into the real world.)

Someone suggested I write a crossover fic with Megaman and the 87 Ninja Turtles several weeks ago. I've been gradually putting things together since then, and this past week a lot more pieces fell into place. I had considered redoing one of the old Classic fics, but instead I decided I want the crossover to be in the same verse as those fics. I have a scene where Megaman tells the Turtles and company the events of those fics. It serves as some closure for me, since I will likely never figure out how to finish the sequel but now at least I can know things got resolved. It also means I'll have to figure out a different climax for the fic. I would like some hurt/comfort, naturally, but it won't be extreme hurt/comfort since it takes place in a verse where there was already extreme hurt/comfort in the past.... Or at least, that's the plan. On the other hand, maybe I'll find a way for a major hurt/comfort scene anyway, like Bass taking down some villain who was trying to destroy the world and they think Bass bought it too (although of course he'd turn up okay). I do find it intriguing that Bass rebels against Wily so often and fights against many of his schemes. Very different from the .EXE Bass, who hates humans (understandably, given his backstory in the games and manga versions). And I found the comments Duo made about Bass having goodness and justice energy, and I remember that was a large part of what inspired me to write Bass as I did. I don't think they would have included that in canon if they hadn't wanted people to figure Bass really is good deep down.

I can't figure out why I didn't collect the last four volumes of the .EXE manga, either. Did they just not come out on schedule? I need to get them in any case, maybe with my next Amazon gift card. There's a lot more Bass in them, and had I known that in the past, I would have been all over them. I tried to get everything I could with Bass. I've been really kicking myself that I didn't get the DVD I wanted so much the one time I saw it in a store. I think at that time I couldn't spare the money and I thought I'd have other chances to get it, but then I never did. Sigh.

I also still want a Shadow the Hedgehog plush that's 12 inches or taller and furry. I found out about the 12-inch Tomy Shadow, which looks really good and is also really rare, apparently. I never saw him in stores at all. And he's not even featured on Sonic Gear! I'm watching some listings for him and hope to pick one of those up, but I really need to wait for another Amazon gift card.

I was on dA last night, looking for Bass and Shadow art. I was kind of sad to see that it looks like a lot of people still think of and like Shadow as a villain. I would think that by now he's proved himself several times over that he's one of the good guys, even though he's an antihero!

(And yeah, I know one argument is that in the Shadow the Hedgehog game, the gimmick was "Hero or villain? You decide" and there were several different possible endings you could choose for him, based on what you wanted. Although I realized that even if you fiddled around with that, the only true ending of the game and the one that's considered canon, is where Shadow is heroic.)

Bass and Shadow have some interesting similarities, especially .EXE Bass and Shadow with their tragic backstories. Shadow's the better character, though, I think. And meanwhile, Classic Bass reminds me a lot of Seto, but again, I think Seto is a more well-rounded character. But I still love Bass too.

I finally finished a silly picture I drew of Nesbitt and Espio glaring suspiciously at each other, since David Wills plays them both: http://meromeroyui.deviantart.com

And Side7 has been down for days. I am not pleased, since my old art is up there. I still can't find the folder I have with the hard copies of the really old stuff, so Side7 was my only way to look at some of it. Plus, now I'll have to think about posting a lot of those things on dA if Side7 is down for good this time, like all the sketches and color pics I drew for YGO around 2009-2010. That sounds exhausting.

The first draft of the fic is done! I watched the third movie to get inspiration for fleshing it out so it's not so raw and I came up with some stuff that I'm inputting now. Hopefully I'll get the first segment up soon.

One thing I'm debating is whether or not to do any scenes from Mokuba's POV after the Unown unleash their spell. I'm wondering if it looks better from a storytelling POV to not do Mokuba's POV, so that there's more of a mystery for the readers as well as the other characters as to what's happening and why some of these locations are in Mokuba's dream world.

I'm still wanting to see more YGO episodes on DVD. It was so fun watching some episodes this week. I watched the Duel with a Ghoul trilogy twice, LOL. Those episodes have always been among my most favorites of the series as a whole, and as I recall, they were also largely responsible for me liking Seto. (I didn't at first, and these days, post-Duelist Kingdom Seto tends to frustrate and aggravate me greatly, albeit less so in the anime-only arcs. I love him in Noa's arc. I hate to say it, but I think the anime writers knew what to do with the character more than the manga-ka did, since he decided to write The Dark Side of Dimensions and screw over Seto's characterization. Ugggh.) I think I actually do prefer the ghost Seto being an imposter, though, rather than the evil part of him from episode 1. Mainly for this reason: the ghost Seto is very cold and cruel to Mokuba (at least in the dub) and I don't like to think of the real Seto ever having that as part of his personality. I guess manga-wise it would fit, but anime-wise, I don't think so. One thing that baffles me about the imposter idea, however: how would that imposter manage to get such a vastly different body shape, unless he's a shapeshifter or something? I almost wonder if that's why the dub changed it to a supernatural being. LOL. That's really the only thing that makes sense.

And I still love Seto's sassy computer. I know most of my friends hated her, but I thought she was awesome. Now, of course, I want her to meet Vincent and interact with him somehow. That would be a blast. Barney and Seto would be so bewildered. I'm pondering on the possibility of a full crossover, but in any case, I'm going to write a blurb of the computers meeting.

Anyway, so I wanted more YGO episodes on DVD. I went looking and stumbled on a seller on eBay who has seasons 1, 3, and 4 brand new for incredible prices. It's the half-season sets and if you get three or more, you get 50% off the entire order! **jaw drop.** I selected the second half of season 1 and both season 3 sets. Then I had a huge struggle over season 4. Part of me wanted to add it too, even though I really shouldn't (and probably shouldn't have bought any right now, really). The other part argued that it really is the most depressing season. As much as I love the bikers, I can't deny that. The season is largely people losing their souls left and right and good guys going dark. I finally opted to set it aside for now, especially since I do have the VHS copies, but I may go back for it later. So far I don't seem to regret it, but I am worrying over whether I should have bought any at all right now. But they were almost sold out and I'd never see prices like those again. I got all three DVD sets for $8 and change!

I also remembered an idle thought I had the other day. That old pondering of wondering what would happen if James either went on a power trip or got corrupted? I pictured him getting hold of the Seal of Orichalcos somehow. Original thought was that eventually he would lose the duel and his soul, but now I'm thinking maybe he wins and has to cope with what he did. I don't think he's dueling Jessie or Meowth; I think some enemy backs him into a situation where he feels forced to use the Seal even though he really doesn't want to, similar to Atem and Raphael's duel. And unlike that duel, it's the enemy who loses his soul. But I think James would still feel terrible about the darkness of the Orichalcos getting hold of him.

I'm also thinking back on that dark fic I started where Alister and Rishid think their friends and siblings are dead and form Doom Reborn or something similar to try to get them back; I remember the Neo-Orichalcos. That was a weird one. I've got one favorite character as the main antagonist, another as the secondary antagonist, and other favorite characters thought dead and out of commission for most of the fic. I never did quite figure out if they were really dead or if their fate was something else, like their souls being stolen, so I never was sure how to get them back, either. I naturally did plan that I would, somehow; I just wasn't sure how. And I never did advance very far into that one. I've read it over several times since the stall and haven't been sure what to do with it. Like season 4, it's pretty depressing. Part of me would like to explore that dark Alister's character and eventually wrap up that storyline; the other part doesn't want to make the effort, since there was so much to do and most of it was depressing.

I think I can conclude that even though there are a lot of dark Pokemon fics that are popular, mine are not terribly liked. Can't really blame people when it comes to the mask fic, though. I knew all along I was taking a risk by posting that. I am happy that the few comments I've received are positive! But there have been less Favorites on it than on most of my Pokemon fics. The same situation happened with A Hero Lies in You, the other dark fic (although not as dark). I wonder what people will think of the fall of the organization fic, if I ever post that.

After a writing slump, I had the urge to work with the human Meowth vignettes. So I got that document out and have been looking it over. I keep being bothered by the opening scene. I think I need to figure out how to rewrite it, because something just feels wrong about it. I wish I could pinpoint exactly what, other than feeling that I don't describe Meowth's mutation scene very well and that it happens too soon. Maybe I'll never be satisfied with that scene, though, since anyone turning into something they're not makes me uncomfortable. Also, looking at it through the eyes of someone who hasn't read the prior Turtles crossovers, there are a lot of scenes that need to be reworked or tweaked or it won't make sense to those readers. It feels rather overwhelming figuring out how to rework so much of it and being worried that no matter what I do, it won't work for those who haven't read those prior fics.

The Pokemopolis fic would probably be the easiest for me to work with, so I might start it and see if it goes anywhere.

I also still want to write more Turtles fics. I've planned to do the augmented reality one next. But my heart still seems to want to tell some Pokemon stories first. I've considered making that fic a crossover so I could do both, but I don't know if I really should.

I went to edit one of my dark pictures with the link to the mask fic, as I promised I would, and I just stared at my dA icon for a bit. Meroko Yui is still one of my absolute favorite characters, at least in the Full Moon wo Sagashite anime, but I've always been a little troubled by her backstory in the manga. She flips out because she ends up thinking Mitsuki is the direct granddaughter of her lost love and Mitsuki's grandmother getting together and thinks she has to kill her because of that. WTH? Thankfully, Mitsuki calms her down, but it's disturbing if the only reason it works is because Mitsuki really isn't the direct granddaughter of the lost love and the grandmother getting together, because they didn't end up getting together. I think it was unnecessary to have that in there, and that it would have been better for that part of the story if it was true and Meroko had to learn to deal with that in non-destructive ways. But on the other hand, that would have made it look worse for Mitsuki's grandmother, so in that respect it was better to not have gone there. And Mitsuki does say that she's sure Meroko doesn't really want to kill her; it's just an impulsive reaction. I think I prefer the anime not doing that storyline at all, though. Well, I would have been okay with the backstory of Meroko as the grandmother's friend, who impulsively killed herself when she thought the grandmother was having an affair with the guy Meroko loved, but if the stuff of Meroko wanting to kill Mitsuki had to come along too, I am not in favor of that. I think the reason the anime went in a different direction for the grandmother's backstory was because the manga hadn't written that far yet. But on the other hand, it could have been because they felt it was too dark.

In any case, yeah, I still adore the anime Meroko, no question. And she's been one of my online namesakes for so long that looking at her name feels like I'm looking at my name, LOL. I really would like to see some of the anime again. CrunchyRoll doesn't seem to have it. I wonder if the rest of it ever got released on DVD. I know it stopped halfway through years ago. It would be awesome if the whole thing finally came over and I could just buy the whole series. That's a real feel-good show.

And I'm finding it more and more appealing to think of taking the $10 Build-a-Bear coupon I was sent through the mail and using it to get Peanut and some clothes for her and Sugar Cookie. It's absolutely not a good time to get something there, and yet ... they hardly ever send coupons at all anymore, especially $10 ones. I already had to forfeit one of those that was emailed to me for use between Christmas and New Year's, because I couldn't get out and I was super frustrated at the Pokemon plushies not being included. I was really surprised to get another one so soon. I am going to get a cash-out soon, so that could replace money spent at Build-a-Bear. I don't know.... I really know I shouldn't. I'll probably take the coupon with me whenever we're able to go and decide then. I should go to the other stores first and then decide based on what happens at them. I found out the G1 Ponies aren't Target exclusives, so I can check Toys R Us too. But they won't be at Wal-Mart, sigh. So if I don't find any when we go, it could be ages before I can get back to look again and I could go ahead and use that money for Peanut, probably.

I also found out that there will be more G1 Ponies besides these initial six! There are waves planned for summer and fall, and for the next three years! Squeeeee! This is epically awesome.

Ugh, I hate insomnia....

I finished putting up the fic where Jessie is hurt. I've also finished the mask fic, but I'm unsure whether to post it next or not. It seems a little like I should probably find something else to squeeze in between instead of bombarding people with such a dark fic, especially after one of the themes of the one I just finished is Jessie trying to overcome her abusive tendencies and then the mask one has that problem in spades (albeit when she's corrupted). Of course, they don't take place one after the other, but I don't know how readers would take it.

Problem is, I don't think I have anything lighter, unless I finally decide to try posting the human Meowth vignettes. I'm still nervous about that one being crossover-ish. And I haven't figured out how to divide it up yet. And then I planned to keep it open so I could add to it whenever I got an idea.

I also have a Christmas oneshot I haven't finished writing yet. It's just short and sweet, inspired by the song Someone's Missing at Christmas, with James missing and thought dead and Jessie hearing that song and being frustrated by it. And then James comes back alive. But I thought it might be better to withhold that one even if I do finish it, since I really want the mask fic to have an impact and too many instances of James being thought dead probably reduces the intensity.

(Then I think that well, Ash sure has almost died a lot in the movies and that never loses its impact, so maybe I shouldn't worry too much, but I know people were frustrated years ago when I couldn't stop writing stuff like that for YGO, so these days I really try to be more cautious.)

I could work on my follow-up to A Hero Lies in You, but then that deals a lot with the fall-out from that story (which was James being killed by a vicious Pokemon), so again, I might rather wait until sometime after I post the mask fic.

Right now I'm adding some to the Team Rocket downfall fic, but I think I need to post some other fics before I put this one up, including the follow-up to A Hero Lies in You. Otherwise, the end probably won't make as much sense/have enough impact. Plus, there's the group apparently sacrificing themselves while bringing down the organization. I'm toying with writing a blurb or two following this fic and showing the various ups and downs of Team Rocket trying to travel with Ash and company, and also the impact of when one of them finally calls Ash by his name, as I imagine that will be a powerful moment. But those would just be private for me until I get the downfall fic up. Then the follow-up would probably be a vignette series like the human Meowth stuff.

I also started the fic picking up directly after the second movie. Tentatively it will have a lot of Brock and maybe show what happened with him and Ivy (although I'm still not sure it was anything more than her rejecting him as a boyfriend). But I'm waffling on it because it goes with the premise of everyone continuing to think Team Rocket is dead, which goes against my timeline, and once I've started a timeline and am invested in it, I really hate to write something that goes against said timeline. And then there's also the trouble of I want impact for the mask fic and maybe there won't be with other instances of any or all of them thought dead. And one more issue: I hate for Team Rocket to continue playing dead when it's hurting people, albeit they certainly have no idea that it is. They're absolutely stunned to find out the twerps feel bad about it at all.

I was watching the Lucario movie again today too. I bought it, the third movie, and another of the kiddie Pokemon books (the silly one about the Shuckle juice, LOL) with some gift money a friend sent me. And I got a plunnie of Jessie and James thought dead and Meowth temporarily traveling with Ash and company because of it. I might write a blurb scene later of him just sadly talking to Ash late at night under a full moon. I guess I could alter this to Jessie and James being missing but not thought dead, but that might lessen some of the impact. On the other hand, maybe what I really want to get across would be the same. And I could have Meowth worrying about them and Ash trying to comfort him.

In the end, all my troubles would be solved if I knew the readers would be chill. When I'm not sure how they'll react, I'm left to try to sort out exactly what to do since I have very few stories that don't deal either with someone eventually being nearly killed or with them being thought dead or with the fall-out from such a problem. I really want to share the mask fic, especially when it's all done, but I don't know if it's a good idea to launch right into it now. Since that's my true desire, however, I probably will. After I read it over again and decide if it needs more fleshing out after all. It's probably going to be divided in half. It could go up as a long oneshot, but I think dividing it in two would work better.

Another problem is that I don't want to stop the Turtles series, but I really long to write for the Pokemon characters and that means that to do both I need more crossover material, but I don't know how the readers for either series would take to that either. Sometime I want to have Vernon and James meet and take an instant dislike to each other, LOL. They refuse to believe they have any similarities at all, although they have two or three.

I've also been considering re-writing all of the old fics. I'd already mentioned possibly redoing Rock Slide!, and now I sort of want to redo Bolt of Truth too. I don't know how that would work, though, as it probably wouldn't be different like Dead and Alive Redux so much as just expanded on what's already there. So I wouldn't know whether to replace the old version with the new one or post the new one separately, and whether to keep up the old one or delete it. I know if I did redo it, I'd want as many people to see the new version as possible, which would mean posting it separately would be better than just replacing the text of the old one. But deleting the old one would stymie a lot of people who have Favorited it. Still, I don't know if having them both up would be a good idea if they're not vastly different like the two Dead and Alives are.

I've been debating whether I want to make a Pokemon website similar to my other sites, with a fic list order and info on the verse and such. Part of me says it's a good idea and the other part doesn't want to take the time.

I'm also debating what I want to buy with the rest of my gift money. I also bought DuckTales volumes 2 and 3 with some of it. (Two friends and an aunt all gave me gift money, which has been awesome.) I could get the Ash and Misty figures with the rest, but I'm not fully sure if I want to do that. I really want Mewtwo Returns, but I keep hesitating on getting the VHS because I really want to see if there's any hope of finding the DVD at the nearest F.Y.E., but it just seems like we'll never get there and they probably don't have it anyway, so I should give up on that being a factor. Then there are some season 4 Johto episodes I'd like to see again, but I don't know if I want them enough to buy season 4 after season 3 has left me so frustrated. I remember seasons 3 and 4 often made me mad 15 years ago, but I wasn't sure if I would feel the same now or not. Perhaps I feel even more that way now, after re-watching season 1 and seeing all of 2 and all the times Team Rocket got to be awesome there, and knowing it's not my imagination that Johto usually wasn't very nice to them. Even though I have more fascination for the world as a whole now, Team Rocket is still my favorite thing and when they're not treated well by the writers, I quickly want to bail. So ... do I really want to spend $30 for season 4 if I'll be as repeatedly disappointed as season 3 has made me? Or did they have more stand-out/non-betrayal episodes in season 4 than they did 3 and I'd be happier with season 4 than I was with 3? All I remember is that episodes like the Wobbufett Festival are from season 4 and I definitely considered that a betrayal from the writers!

One thing I definitely love is this shirt. After waiting 15 years to have a Team Rocket shirt, it feels so good to finally have one! And I think it was totally worth paying the full price for it. I even think the sale price probably made it too cheap, although I would have loved to have gotten it at that price. But I sure don't regret getting it even though I had to pay nearly $5 more. I would have preferred the Classic Era art style, of course, but I'm just thrilled to have any official art style with them.

At least I'm not waffling about artwork. I did sketch Bonnie and Clyde, and decided to draw some inspiration from the real-life Clyde to try to make the character not look like a Butch re-color. Haven't colored the picture yet, though, and I don't know if I will, since I just wanted to get down what they basically look like for personal reference. And I drew another human Meowth picture, which amuses me. I also finally got the picture done of possessed James holding Ash out over the widow's walk railing, which is just creepy. http://meromeroyui.deviantart.com

I'm rather ecstatic that I finally got my kiddie Team Rocket book, heh. Barnes and Noble sent an email with 25% off an item, plus free shipping. I didn't realize they meant both things were included even with one little item, though, instead of having to pay $25 to get the free shipping. But I looked at the email again, realized it looked like it meant both even for one item, and I tried buying the Team Rocket book and adding the coupon code just to see what would happen. And it really happened. That is one amazing coupon! Must be something that could only happen at Christmastime. Normally Barnes and Noble doesn't have deals that good! Hopefully the book will be worth getting. Anything with Team Rocket getting to come to the rescue sounds promising.

My Meowth figure arrived safely on Wednesday. The bubble was all yellowed and stapled back together at the edges (as I already knew it was), but Meowth was still cozy inside. Seems to be perfectly mint! At first I thought some places had faded, but when I looked at the paper that came with him, it looks like that was just a design of the figure. And adorably, James can hold him! That's how I'm displaying them right now. I like this original Meowth figure better than the one Tomy did more recently, because the recent one is battle stance and expression and the old one is docile and cute. And I chose this particular one because he was the only one still in a package for the lowest price. Would've cost about the same to get the recent one in a store.

I finally got my shirt, too. Mom and I figured out stuff to get for Dad for Christmas, so we had him put some money from his and Mom's account into mine (without saying why, of course, though I'm sure he knows the routine by now) and I bought the stuff for him and added the shirt to the order. I kept waffling on whether to really get it, but after going over and over the options I concluded there really wasn't anything I wanted more than the shirt, despite the raised price. I hope everything will get here in time. The most important part of the order has shipped, but the other half is shipping with my shirt, for some reason, and that part of the order hasn't shipped yet.

Then I got sidetracked with this writing quiz FidgetFidgets did. I recognized some questions but not others, so I decided to take it:

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

LuckyLadybug is the name of a silly, cute, old song that was covered by Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons. I was in a Yahoo Group for them and everybody was choosing a song of theirs to be like a signature song to describe them. For some reason, I picked that one and it's stuck ever since.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

On AO3, I believe it's one of my West Side Story fics (the one where Schrank is shot, I think). Yeah. The Worth of Souls.

On FF.net, it's Frantic in Frisco (apologies to any San Franciscans who hate that name), an old Yu-Gi-Oh! mystery.

Of course, on AO3 the kind of feedback I get is rarely ever in comments.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

Carl Kolchak holding a cross. I probably chose it because I was on a Kolchak the Night Stalker kick when I made my account and I wanted an icon with one of my actor darlings. And because it just looks cool seeing him try to ward off evil with a religious object. :)

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

Heh, anybody who comments (and is nice) is my favorite! I do have some regular commenters, but they only tend to show up when I write for something they like. Understandable, of course. I'm usually the same. I might love someone's writing so much I'd like to read everything of theirs, but I just don't have the time, so I stick with fandoms I love.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I can’t think of one specific one. I will re-read multiple oneshot stories by friends, especially if they were gifts to me.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

Not very many. I don’t think there are any subscriptions and only a handful of Bookmarks. That’s the same on FF.net, basically, except I am actively Following a SYOC (Send Your Own Character) fic, because the author wanted to include a character of mine and I agreed and created one for him to use.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

I used to consider it an insult to be told I wrote AU, especially if my stories simply picked up where canon left off! But I can’t deny that what I’ve been writing for over a year is indeed AU. My 87 Ninja Turtles AU breaks off after the second to last episode of season 7 and goes off in a different direction more in keeping with the spirit of the early seasons rather than the dark stuff canon gave us starting in season 8. And now I have my Pokemon AU verse too, which breaks off some time in season 2, incorporates some events of later seasons, but mostly goes off in its own direction too. And for the Pokemon AU, I have an explanation within the stories as to why. LOL. The creator time-traveled to the present day, spoke to the real people, then went 20 years in the past to create the games and anime. He then had to come up with stuff of his own to keep things going once the series took off, so most of the stuff in Johto and beyond to Sun and Moon is his own creation instead of what he learned from the real people. Heh. I’ve only revealed that in the crossover fics, but I may or may not have it in the solo Pokemon stories at some point.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Ehhhh … on AO3? I’m not sure anybody is. But what the heck, I’ll look…. Hey, wow, 28 bookmarks and 5 subscriptions. I don’t think I get emails for those things. There is also 1 user subscription. I guess that’s like Following me instead of a story?

Now, on FF.net, on the other hand, I have … 846 people who list me as a Favorite Author and 391 who have me on Author Alerts. **blushes.** I am … rather established there. Of course, a lot of those stats are probably for now-defunct accounts and such, but still, it’s kind of nice that at least at some point, every one of those people wanted to see what I was writing next.

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

I don’t think so…. If I want to write something, I probably will. Now whether I’ll post it is another story, but if I like the way it came out, I probably will.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Descriptions. I used to be way better at descriptions than I am now. I slipped into an Ernest Hemingway way of writing that’s more dialogue-heavy, and while that usually works fine, sometimes I miss my descriptions. Occasionally I can still do them, depending on the scene, but in general it’s not like it once was.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

I write … very few pairings of any kind! Man, even this quiz is romance-obsessed, automatically assuming I write romance. I’d rather write friendships. Now with them, I often write established friendships but also a lot of friendships that have somehow developed over the course of the stories, since they’re often connected.

The few times I do dip into romance, I think it’s usually well-loved pairings but not always.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

135, it says.

582 on FF.net. And then there’s stuff I’ve only posted to Livejournal….

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

Everything! Blurbs, too.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I try to write them down or I’ll forget them.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yes, but I don’t think any collaboration attempt ever got finished.

16. How did you discover AO3?

Can’t remember. I think a friend found it and told me? Maybe? I liked the tagging system and felt like, Well, what the heck, I’ll try it out, especially since they have some categories FF.net doesn’t. I’ve submitted some stuff to other fic sites, like Fic Wad and Media Miner, but it looked cooler than those. I found it aggravating when I realized people didn’t like to comment much there. Of course, these days it’s often the same thing at FF.net too.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

Heh, nope. Maybe I am in the Ninja Turtles category by now. Who knows.

This version of the quiz sure likes AO3. I’ve seen a lot of these questions before, just not the AO3 ones (and a few others).

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

No. Although I think I used to jokingly call them my Lovelies. Now that’s a name I gave to my Tumblr account that has pictures of my favorite actors.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Mom and Dad, I suppose. I started writing fanfics at age 3 or 4. Of course, I didn’t know that’s what it was called then, but it seemed perfectly natural to want to tell new stories about characters I loved. It still does.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Write about what you love. Don’t try to force something that’s not coming. People will be able to tell if what you’re writing about is something you truly love. But also try to write about what you know. Put the characters into situations that you'll be able to actually write, instead of stumbling your way through it because you don't know what you're doing.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Half and half. I try to have a basic outline, but I don’t plot out every detail.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Oh, the stories I could tell. (And some I have told.) Honestly, what I did depended on what the comment was. Anonymous jerks get deleted. Signed in jerks usually get ignored … unless I’m in a particularly bad mood.

Of course, if there’s genuine criticism that’s valuable, that’s something else again. One of my most valuable comments told me I wrote like a script. I resolved to change that from then on, and I did.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Scenes requiring a lot of descriptions, like fight scenes. Unless I’m really into it and happily detail it out, which is rare for fight scenes. I’d rather write character interaction.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Several Pokemon:

- Human Meowth vignettes (which may become a regular oneshot or multi-chapter after all)

- Downfall of Team Rocket as an organization

- Control Freak redo

- Movie 2 missing scene

- Christmas fic for Crystal

- Ash is angry at a Pokemon (follow-up to A Hero Lies in You)

- Wax fic

- Team Rocket watches and comments on the anime (silly crack and might not get posted)

One Turtles:

- Christmas fic

Annnd a bunch of other assorted fics that I stopped work on long ago but may still finish someday (I hope).

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Sometimes. It all depends on the plunnies! Many times a new idea comes and then it’s torture not being able to start it until I’ve finished what I’m already doing.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

No, but I hope to write something every day.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Heck yes.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Just one? Gosh, I don’t know. I love Lead Me Through the Fire and Close Your Eyes, Clear Your Heart for YGO. I love A Hero Lies in You and my Dead and Alive Redux for Pokemon. My Turtles series….

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

Family Ties and Family Secrets, both YGO. Urgh, I’d take them both down if people didn’t like them so much….

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

I’d like to say I’ll have finished my novel, but who knows. I find it so much more fulfilling to write about other people’s characters than my own. That ain’t gonna pay money, but I guess I’m also worried about using fiction writing for work. Maybe it won’t be as fun then. Having a publisher or an editor breathing down my neck for updates would get very stressful.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Telling stories about characters I already love.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

When the descriptions don’t work or a scene drags or a fic just doesn’t seem about to let me know what it needs.

33. Why do you write?

It’s my passion. I can’t not write. It would be easier not to breathe.

So the other day I ended up watching The Making of Pokemon Live and then I felt a little guilty for slamming it. It was nice to see that it was definitely a work of love and the cast and crew were having so much fun with it. I still think Jessie and James were a little over-the-top, but maybe that was just their honest interpretation of the characters and since I focus more on other traits of theirs, I don't think much about their over-the-top-ness. There were definitely scenes in the anime where they were over-the-top, LOL.

(I don't think there was any canon excuse for making Brock goofy about things other than women, though....)

That was the first time I've actually heard Darren Dunstan's natural voice. Since he used the Pegasus voice for Giovanni, and I've heard him singing in that voice when not playing Giovanni, I thought that was his natural voice. And I was having a horrible time separating him from Pegasus and I kept wondering how a goofball like Pegasus could do voice direction for some of the movies. **headdesk.** I know I shouldn't have, but yeah.

I've been trying voice-acting with the Team Rocket characters. I'll never realize my dream of a play, but at least I can play-act with myself. Meowth's voice is super hard. Maddie Blaustein was one of a kind! I can get a Brooklyn accent really easily, but adding that "meower" tone to really make it sound like a cat/Meowth is the hard part. I am up for the challenge, though! James and Jessie should be easier. James is similar to Vernon and Jessie seems easy enough. Prissy but not screechy.

I've been toying with the idea of making Team Rocket plushies, but I wish I didn't have to resort to fleece, felt, or something else like that for hair. I wish I could find some doll wigs that would work, but I haven't had any luck. It's really amazing that I found the perfect doll wig for Ginger!

If I decide to try it, I'd probably be making human catboy Meowth, because that would be a fun challenge. For him, I guess I could use the yellow hair that's the counterpart to Baxter and Barney's and Lou and Mike's hair. But that material wouldn't work for Jessie or James.

If I try it, I'll probably also take a page from the abridged Pokemon Live and have Jessie's black shirt come down all the way, LOL. And extend the skirt's length a bit.... And oh, hey, for them I'd have to make foot coverings, since the boots are iconic parts of the outfits.

I've been having a blast with my rewrite of Dead and Alive. The first draft is finished, clocking in at 8 chapters instead of the original six. People on FF.net are still silent, but they're definitely reading. And a fan of the original story checked in on AO3, of all places. (I rarely get reviews there.) The story is mostly for me, hence why I keep posting it instead of waiting for FF.net reviews that probably won't come any time soon. I have three chapters posted so far. I'm really thrilled with what I've done with it.

Some things are mostly the same as in the original, while others are different. Some are similar but modified. In the original, James cross-dresses as a nurse to escape thugs in one scene. LOL. In the new one, it's specifically Nurse Joy he cross-dresses as. She reacts to this. I've illustrated it. Haven't colored it yet, though. I scanned an inked version of a picture with human catboy Meowth, but for this one I think it would be funnier colored, so I don't think I'll scan the inked one. Both versions of the story are mostly serious, but that's a bit of an amusing scene. I always laugh at James' cross-dressing. (Well, except for Beauty and the Beach. No. Just no. That episode makes no sense. What are he and Jessie even doing in the beauty contest?! It's so bizarrely random. And I am creeped out by his antics. Misty's reaction was pretty much mine. At least since the dub cuts that, I can technically say that James never did that even though Kojiro did....)

I love my expansion on Meowth being attacked. It definitely makes more sense to focus on that more than I originally did.

One thing I don't do in either version is explore the amnesia in-depth (even though there are certainly scenes of him trying to remember). Nor do I have James getting back memories of Jessie and Meowth being abusive to him. Still debating whether to go that route, though. Most amnesia stories I do have the victim get back memories of the loved ones' less than stellar moments and have to choose to trust them anyway. This story instead went down the path that he remembers Jessie and Meowth are important to him and he doesn't waver from that. It's a fairly fast-paced story in both versions, although there's two timeskips in the old one and one timeskip in the new one. I'm debating if I should write an entirely new chapter exploring the timeskip instead, but I think it works the way it already is.

And I have the Turtles fic nearly done too, save for the epilogue stuff. It went down a much different path than the person hoped it would, though, I think. But I never planned to follow that path too much, as I warned him, since I felt that would make it too similar to an earlier story in the series. Hopefully he'll like it for what it is. I've never been able to write one of his requests exactly the way he hoped for. Of course, that's always a risk one takes when requesting a fic from someone.

And oh dear. I've been trying to figure out how to get that Team Rocket shirt while it's at the lowest price, so I asked Dad if there was anything he wanted on Amazon so we could combine an order instead of me getting other stuff to pay the full $25 price for free shipping right now. He couldn't think of anything, really, but had me try a few options that didn't really work out. Now I see that the second half of Batman 66 season 2 is down lower than I've ever seen it before. I've been hoping to get that for years. I already decided that if the shirt went back up to $14, I wanted it enough to still get it, but now something else is at a great price too and it's even more difficult to not think of placing the order at this point. I really shouldn't right now. But I am close to another cash-out, so I could probably replace the money fairly quickly. Still, then I'd just be right back where I am now instead of having more money.

What to do....

... Funny thought that just occurred to me. I've been so worried about Dad seeing what Jessie's wearing and getting bent out of shape, but I have about five YGO shirts with Marik and he's never seemed to pay enough attention to them to get upset. Although Marik doesn't show as much of a bare midriff as Jessie does!

Well, I decided to contact the girl who created the Team Rocket video and played Meowth, as I figured that was definitely the only right thing to do when I wanted to use the majority of her human catboy Meowth design in a fic and in some drawings. As I hoped, she said yes! I've been tinkering a little more with the fic and I definitely think it will happen. And I already did a couple of experimental drawings yesterday. One of them, at least, I'll probably touch up and post. The main differences with my version are that the ears are to the sides of the hat instead of going through the hat, the charm is now in a ring, he can extend his nails as very dangerous claws, and he still has cat-like eyes. And I'm not sure if I'll keep the R on the tie, as that was a little detail of hers that I might want to leave unique to her version. (Maybe an R lapel pin instead, LOL.) Everything else basically looks like her version.

Of course, the fic will be another installment in the Turtles/Pokemon crossover verse, but this one will fall on the Pokemon side of things and the Turtles characters will be guests, so it will be posted in the Pokemon category. I'm debating whether it will be a oneshot or if I should leave it open as a vignette series, since I want to play around with the idea of human Meowth for a while yet I don't want the mutation to be in other fics. I'm also debating if Krang should try to get Meowth, as James is now worrying he will. If he does, that will go over very badly, LOL. The mutation resulted in much longer, stronger claws. Meowth could probably wreak havoc on the Technodrome if Krang tries to abduct him.

Then I had a weird thought. I wonder why catboys always seem to have blond hair. Of course with Meowth it makes sense since his fur is cream-colored, but then there's Chat Noir from Miraculous Ladybug and Schrodinger from Hellsing.

I've also been pondering on my continuing very bad reaction to the K-Marts in the state closing. For weeks I was even telling myself, "No, it's not gone. It's still there, exactly as I remember it in the good days." Of course, I never actually made myself believe that, but it was just nice as a way of coping. Now I seem to have better settled into acceptance that it's gone and I'm not really telling myself it's there anymore, but I still choose to remember it in a happy way. I'm still not sure why it closing affected me so badly. I guess I just plain loved it more than I even consciously knew.

So the car is not fixed. But my brother (the one who gave me the $20 for my birthday) let us borrow his car.

Traffic was frightening. But everything went well!

Bulbasaur is definitely striking. But I couldn't justify paying so much for him. Plus, honestly, he looked hard to cuddle with. They had all the Pokemon in the store, as I'd hoped, and I decided I really wanted Pikachu the most. But I think I'll get Eevee too at some point. She's so cute!

$28 still seems a lot, but somehow Pikachu seems bigger now than he did two years ago. Maybe that's because since then, I've seen what else is available and how small the other sizes are. And at least I got $5 off the price thanks to the coupon that prompted the entire outing! The Turtles on the last round were $28 too (although I got 30% off on the one I bought on that round, Michelangelo).

While we were out, I decided to check Barnes and Noble on the off chance that maybe a stray Sailor Moon figure was still on clearance. Naturally not; they were all bought up by this point. I'm glad I got to get a couple last month when the sale was on.

I've also wanted to check another Wal-Mart to see if they still had the Pokemon hat I wanted, and maybe The Johto Journeys too, because I do crave some more Pokemon and there are definitely things I like about Johto. The Wal-Mart I tried had both! And I got both. The hat had reached $2 in clearance price! So awesome. I love clearance! I hope I won't regret the DVD purchase. Hopefully there will be enough awesome Johto episodes to make it worth my while. And I'm obsessed with the theme song. Never cared much for season 4's theme, but as soon as I heard season 3's theme years ago, I fell in love with it.

I listened to the Pokemon Christmas album again and found it just as amusing as before. Then I started fooling around on YouTube playing random songs, and I've also decided Pokemon Live is awesome when all the Pokeshipping subplot stuff is omitted. I love another, abridged production I was shown and still need to see in full, and I love the utter, wonderful crack of Dexter being sentient and having a song. **snerk.** That kind of crack is in line with the Turtles' stage show, I think.

Somewhere along the way, I ended up stumbling on this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYdRJyFAnMY

I'm kind of obsessed with it too. A bunch of girls and a dad got together and this happened. LOL. Fun times. And I love Meowth's clothes and hair, I think mainly because they remind me of Scott on Carmen Sandiego.

So all in all, I'm having a Pokemon obsessed moment again, like I had last month. It's fun.

I'm also moving steadily along on the Turtles' fic. I think I've reached a snag and I hope it won't last. Snags are annoying and not fun.

Now I'm debating whether to post another Pokemon chapter right away. I think the one chapter a day thing is wearying to the readers, even though they're short chapters and that's usually what I do if a story is mostly written. But I ended up adding more to the chapter because I decided the fight scene needed to be shown more than briefly summarized. I'll need to look it over again before I post it. I'm wondering if I should hold off until after Thanksgiving to post the rest. Many is the year I posted something on Thanksgiving and had very little luck with reader response because of that.

Also debating if Brock will blame himself for James ending up forced to sacrifice himself protecting Ash, as Crystal pointed out how protective Brock is of Ash and Misty. This is Team Rocket, but under the circumstances, I wonder if Brock might think it should have been him instead of James. On the other hand, he might not because of his siblings and how devastated they would be. (And Ash and Misty too, of course.)

I also decided to check out Pokemon Live. I read a detailed summary of the whole thing and have been skipping around in the video looking at the Team Rocket parts. I'm not too fond of many of the voices. I'm generally okay with James', even though he has a way higher pitch than on the show. Jessie's voice, on the other hand, really makes me cringe. She shrieks and screeches half her lines and some of her dialogue sounds more fitting to Jessiebelle.

Giovanni's and Delia's voices are the best in the production, I think. And hearing Giovanni sing about his plans and using his robot to defeat trainers all while sounding like Pegasus will never not be amusing.

Not crazy at all about all the mush subplot nonsense. Of course. I'm not a Pokeshipper and I tend to think that spoils the great friendship Ash and Misty come to have in canon. (I also wonder why shipping them is called Pokeshipping. That makes it sound like the definitive pairing or something. Seems like Pokeshipping could describe almost any pairing on the show, so why was that name picked for them?)

I am kind of intrigued by Delia knowing Giovanni from the past. I may watch those scenes later.

Overall, the thing seems to be around the same crackiness level as the Turtles' live show. I'm trying to figure out why I get a kick out of the latter but am cringing at Pokemon Live. I think the mush subplot and Jessie's voice are the main reasons. And somehow most of the characters feel kind of off. Especially Misty and Brock. (And is it terrible that I find it super weird for Ash to sound like a teenage boy whose voice has broken?) In the Turtles' show, any OOCness is more for cracky purposes, like Shredder rapping. ROTFLOL. But in Pokemon Live, a lot of it is supposed to be taken seriously, like the mush stuff. (I think if Misty has a crush on Ash in canon, she's denying it to herself instead of knowing it and just keeping quiet about it.) Although I guess Brock's refusal to acknowledge they're lost and such was supposed to be funny. That felt OOC too and I didn't care for it. Of course, Baxter in the Turtles' stage show is OOC by 87 series standards, but I seem to be more forgiving of that since they actually included him. And since I decided the stage show is just a separate verse. It feels like its own verse because it has elements from different branches of the franchise. And there are so many Turtles verses that it's easy to accept one more. By contrast, for Pokemon I think there's just anime, manga, and game verses. With Pokemon Live, it really seems to be meant to be the anime verse, yet it doesn't feel like it. So yeah, I think those things are why I'm having trouble fully liking Pokemon Live. That said, I'm enjoying some of it, and if they'd left the mush and OOC stuff out, or else made it more clear that it's a separate verse, I'd probably accept it better.

I also figured out why I love the Orange Islands arc so much. I was watching one of the filler episodes from season 1, during the time Ash should be training for the Pokemon League, and I felt the same love for it that I do for the Orange Islands. Some of my favorite season 1 episodes are among those filler ventures. I've always had a habit of loving filler, largely because characters seem to develop the most in filler episodes, and because they're fun and usually without baggage, and Orange Islands feels like filler in between Kanto and Johto. I like the slice-of-life feel of those episodes. I also like how Team Rocket often gets to shine in filler, and how Ash and company seem more likely to help them in filler. They jump to help in both Onixpected and Blank-Out Blaistoise episodes. Not usual, and very enjoyable. (I also enjoyed Ash helping in the non-filler All Fired Up! episode, though I wondered why that occasion was different than the other occasions where they're on fire and he doesn't help.)

I wrote most of the missing middle section of my fic on Sunday night and Monday morning. I love when fics suddenly fall into place and mostly write themselves! And I fixed the hero discussion by simply having Father Joe talk to the group as a whole, instead of just James. I think that really looks better. Now I'm just fleshing things out before posting any segments. I think I determined the chapter breaks, but depending on how much gets fleshed out, that could change.

One thing I did was show a conversation early in the fic around Father Joe's lunch table. They ended up discussing Giovanni and why he keeps the trio around when they always fail. After all, Team Rocket could afford to let them go. That ended up inadvertently looking like a plot point that should be explored more, and now I'm thinking again about my old fic that I wanted to redo. That dealt a lot with Giovanni's interaction with the trio.

It does seem like too many near-death incidents for James in a row, though. (Although he was just knocked out in the crossover and in the possession fic, and I'm guessing most readers in the Pokemon category wouldn't have read the crossover ... although the one vocal Pokemon fic reviewer did. But just counting the Pokemon category, that would really just leave two prior hurt/comfort scenarios and only one being thought dead incident, in the fic I'm going to post. But said being thought dead incident is pretty major, just as it also is in the old fic.) If I wanted to redo the old fic and have it in this timeline I'm crafting, maybe he should just be missing and not thought dead. But then that removes some of the poignancy and a large point of the plot. I really wanted to redo the old fic with the same basic plotline and just flesh it out.

Decisions, decisions....

Meanwhile, I'm planning for the next Turtles fic and really getting a kick out of it. ROTFLOL, it's going to be priceless.