The Winter Court of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

I have strange dreams.

This, of course, isn't unusual, either for people in general or for me in specific. My dreams seem to be far stranger than normal lately, though. Sometimes they are dreams of longing, of missing happier times. Other times, they are fandom-based and occasionally are worth writing fics of. Still others are about recurring locations.

One of my favorite recurring locations is the haunted house. I often dream that we live in one. Sometimes it's clearly the same house. Other times it's differently designed, yet still meant to be the same house.

I believe I've dreamed of haunted houses since we lived at the house before this. Usually those dreams involved evil spirits possessing the bedroom curtains and me being too terrified to be able to move or scream. I would fall and struggle to crawl away. Attempting to scream would produce no sound, as hard as I'd try.

There are times when I still dream things like that. Usually here, however, I dream of living in a haunted house that is much larger than this house. I have always longed to live in a huge house, mansion-size. The ghosts infest certain areas of the house and either will not let anyone be there at all or people can be there but feel constantly watched. Sometimes the ghosts get them lost in an endless labyrinth, unable to find the rooms and doors they started with.

Sometimes the dream houses are all jumbled up with reality. In today's dream, I had two different rooms, as I did at the old house, and I had to pick and choose what I had in each one. Most of my favorite things were in the room I slept in, while other things were tucked away in another room. For some reason, I was considering making this other room my main room. I think it was because the current main room was haunted or otherwise uncomfortable. Or maybe I just wanted a change. I was enjoying the other room a lot, but felt it too small for what I needed. Then I saw it seemed bigger than I'd thought. I was looking through some of the DVDs, books, and plushies in that room and finding a lot of interesting things I'd forgotten I had.

In another dream this past day, I had decided to attend a several-day camp event supposedly similar to ones I had refused to attend in my youth. I was always the odd one out. It was a huge thing in youth group, to go to camp. People would plan it for months and even have fundraisers to get money to go. I was about the only one who didn't want to. But because I was too nice to say I didn't want to or I had no interest, I came up with weird excuses that I thought might sound more plausible and acceptable. In the dream, I had stuff packed and people were coming to get me. It was the present-day and I was thinking it would be several days before I could get my new chapter up, and that was a shame because it was really almost finished. I didn't really want to leave everything for a week. I don't know why I was trying to go to the thing. When the people came, they told things I hadn't known before, such as that it was so dull up there that people would hang tacks on the wall as an activity. And even though there was a cabin, and there was snow outside, people were going to sleep outside in the snow in sleeping bags. That was the last straw and I backed out of it, even though I knew they'd be mad. One of the people was a youth group leader I miss most dearly in real-life. I was glad to get out of going.

I broke down crying before bed yesterday. This year has been beating me over the head as it is, and I know it's been hard for others as well. To lose Kazuki Takahashi is to lose a dear friend. This year marks 20 years of knowing and loving YGO. When JP wanted me to watch The Powerpuff Girls while it was on Kids WB, the trailers for YGO intrigued me even though most of them were silly, cheeky things. I just knew I had to watch it. One episode (The Evil Spirit of the Ring, a classic), and I was hooked. JP was skeptical and didn't think it would last as an interest, but I knew I'd found something special. The characters, the plot, the humor (yes, I enjoyed the 4Kids humor) ... ! It all combined to make an intense and beautiful series about friendship, villain redemption, and forgiveness.

There are so many stories I could tell about how and why YGO is important to me and how magical it was looking for merchandise. Many stories I've already told. I'll admit I've never been as fond of the manga as I am the anime, and it took me a long time to try the manga after hearing of some of the darker elements in it. But it was there for me when I was ready for it, and nothing would exist without the manga and those first, rough versions of the characters. Kazuki Takahashi created so many of the beloved YGO DM characters and designed some of the spin-off characters. I wish I knew if he designed Radley and Kalin. Over the Nexus lists him as a character designer as though all the characters in it were his designs. I am so grateful he had the ideas for the manga and the characters. He brought something incredible to life that will continue to live on in his memory.

Here's a tale I'm not sure I ever shared publicly. I dreamed about YGO before I even knew what it was. Honestly, I'm the first to be skeptical about people thinking all answers are to be found in dreams. But I do think every now and then, there can be a meaningful or even a prophetic dream. I have no idea why I would be sent a dream of YGO, but I like to think it was because God knew it would literally change my life in many positive ways. I dreamed it was the day after my birthday and I was watching a show on TV. It was part four of the Yugi and Pegasus duel, the part when Yugi sacrifices himself and Pegasus is mocking him. The computer was also involved in the dream; I think I was looking stuff up about the next episode. I woke up utterly baffled and dismissed it as nonsense. Months, even years later, the dream was fulfilled every whit and I remembered it. That was a moment. That's one thing about my dreams; the few times I actually have a prophetic one, it's told to me straight out, no silly symbolism or whatnot. I don't know why. I guess God knows I want it told to me straight? I'll still be confused about it if I have no idea about any of the things in the dream.

I could never document all the ways YGO is special to me or tell every amazing experience I've had because of it. If you look through the tag of YGO on my journals, you'll find accounts of many such experiences. Those times seeking merchandise are often some of my most happy memories. It was a more innocent time, when anime was fresh and newly becoming part of established pop culture. Because of YGO, I improved my writing, I learned how to draw people, and I met so many wonderful people. Some are even still my friends. And I'm still meeting new wonderful people too. YGO brings people together, and that is something Kazuki Takahashi hoped for, as recorded in one of his anecdotes from the beginning of a manga volume.

I don't understand why he had to be taken so soon. He was still young. It's even more heartbreaking because as I understand it, he was on a vacation and just trying to have a little relaxation and fun exploring sea life. I'm just heartbroken, as is the whole YGO fanbase. I was just about to post a story when I heard the news. I decided to dedicate it to him even though it's 5Ds. All YGO exists because of his first ideas. (And he even created the first Turbo Duel, as Marik is dueling through Strings while riding his motorcycle in the manga!) I also decided to hold off posting until after sleeping and doing one more proofread. I never like to rush a post and realize I should have added something more later, and especially in his honor, I wanted to make sure it was as good as it could be. I posted it in the afternoon after some important tweaks.

In my room I am surrounded by YGO merchandise, much of it official and some of it custom-made by me or other fans. I tried my hand at customizing dolls and figures to be YGO characters. I made plushies and plan to make more. I put together cosplays as characters. I drew and drew, and wrote and wrote and wrote. YGO inspires me, and if all the different things I've written for are added up, I'm pretty sure I've written more for YGO than for anything else. There are so many characters, angles, new plots and adventures they can go on! Right now, 5Ds Week/Month is getting underway. Azureweek (Seto/Tea) will be in a couple of months. And there are many other events for creativity based around YGO. The fans still love YGO all these years later and are always finding new ways to express that love. Kazuki Takahashi created something truly special. The duels and card game are fun, but the real meat of it is the characters, the plots, and the bonds that form because of it all.

Thank you so much for giving me such a wondrous thing to explore, my friend. I hope someday I can tell you in person how deeply much YGO means to me. And in the meantime, I hope you can find happiness in learning how many people are still touched by YGO. It makes me very happy.

It has been extremely stressful almost from the time I last wrote anything here. I discovered the worst pain I have ever had in my life, which seems to have been caused by rupturing ovarian cysts, and I'm still trying to get my body back to normal. There's other cysts that may or may not be cancerous, although the doctor doesn't really think they are. He didn't even see the ultrasound pictures, though! He just read the hospital's report! We're waiting to see if the blasted things shrink on their own while I try some natural remedies and foods that are supposed to help. The doctor doesn't think food has anything to do with it, but I've found that my problems and the pain seem to pivot around foods. I've mostly felt a lot better and I discovered standing and walking are very helpful. I racked up a horrific bill just from the tests they did and I'm trying to qualify for Medicaid. I just thought everything was okay and now they seem to be demanding I redo all the information again?! WTH?! Aurgh! I tried to call them on Friday but couldn't get anyone and I'll have to try again tomorrow.

My birthday was peaceful, at least, but low-key. I still haven't had my outing. We were hoping to try for this coming week, but now we have a new house problem to deal with, as our bathroom light fixture decided to bork and now we have to light it with nightlights. We've been having so many house problems the last few months, mostly plumbing but also some electric issues. Our water pressure is horrendous. It's been wrecked ever since the city forced new pipes on everyone last year, and it's gotten worse for us in the last several months.

To compensate for no outing, I bought a lot of things online to have for my birthday. It was fun, but it doesn't take the place of physically visiting a store. It's the whole experience that's so fun, not just buying things. Although the irony is that I likely wouldn't be able to find much of anything I want in a physical store. It seems like what I want is either cheaper online or only available online.

Some other, more minor stressful things happened the past week, but because of my emotional state dealing with my health problems they tipped me over the edge. It's ironic and frustrating that I really try so hard to control myself online, but the few times I just can't take it anymore I get branded as some kind of horrible thing. Also ironic is that while they're thinking how awful I am, I'm emotionally tearing myself to pieces for weeks afterward because I said or did something that hurt someone. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and have for years. I've never been officially diagnosed, but reading up on the symptoms certainly matches my states of mind when I go into those ways and I fully believe I have an anxiety disorder. I would love to talk to a therapist, but we can't afford that either. And I certainly can't think about that when we're not sure the Medicaid went through. If I can really qualify for ongoing Medicaid and not just temporary, maybe then I can consider a therapist. I only really realized how badly I needed one two and a half years ago when I sank into a really bad depression and self-loathing state. A friend who is a therapist in another state really helped me a lot to be able to pull out of it. If only she lived here. I had a small-scale setback into such a state this past week because of those stressful things and what happened because of them. That friend plus other friends have been helping me pull out of it again and helping me see that I'm not the scum of the earth, which is how I was feeling.

I also lapsed into another frantic "Buy, buy, buy!" mode this past week, like I did in April when the lockdown started. Apparently that's going to be a thing with me now and I've developed full-blown retail therapy problems when under extreme stress. Although at least I'm not buying up everything under the sun; I still study things out for days to get what I really want. This round I wanted YGO things and I bought an official YGO coloring book and one of the Scholastic character guides, this one focusing on the villains. I wish I'd known about all these wonderful YGO things Scholastic put out at the time. I was looking and looking for things like that and could never find them. Apparently they did a whole line of character guides in 2006. I wonder why they waited until then. That was when the show ended!

I wrote all of the Whumptober prompts into a connected storyline and am posting them. I was delayed for several days when the worst of my physical pains were happening, but I've got back on track and am posting on the correct days again. I'm trying to do the Comfortember ones too, but they aren't plunnying me as much, so I'm not sure I'll do all of them. But I don't have any other story ideas other than expanding one of Nesbitt's hallucinations into a full fic really happening and taking place in another verse, so I want to keep trying. I love to write and feel like to not be able to is to lock part of my soul away.

The hallucination I want to expand is for Dartz to trick Nesbitt into using the Orichalcos. For some reason I've been wanting to write a storyline similar to Mai's season 4 arc. I don't know why, really, because that was gut-wrenching. But I finally figured out how to work it in a way I like. Nesbitt is feeling horrible because of his weakness in almost abandoning the others in Noa's world, so Dartz preys on that and tells him the Orichalcos will make him strong. In Nesbitt's state of mind, he believes that and thinks it will help him be a better friend, so he accepts it and then it corrupts him. He has no idea about soul-stealing or swallowing the world with a giant sea snake until after it corrupts him, which seemed to be the same with Mai in canon. In the dub, at least, Dartz most certainly doesn't tell her any of those things until she agrees to accept it. You can see in her face that the corruption is instantaneous. Very chilling.

As much as I love and adore Lector and have given him some of my personality traits in how I write for him, I really went to town with Nesbitt and base him on me even more. His insecurities, his struggles with his weaknesses, blurting things out he shouldn't and beating himself up over it, his asexuality, is all based on me. In the Japanese he doesn't seem to have some of his issues, like wanting to pretend he's a machine, so I deliberately write him based on the dub version because I find his manias so interesting and a writing goldmine. I do, however, use his Japanese backstory in how Seto treats him, which was even more appalling than in the dub. He tells Nesbitt not to get underfoot when the new engineer arrives, aurgh. So cruel when Nesbitt was the top engineer! (And semi-related, I read a short fic on Crump based on the Japanese version where Seto said something horrible to him when he brought the idea of a penguin sanctuary and theme park, something about crushing Crump like a soda can if he didn't drop the idea?! If that was really what he said in the Japanese, horrible! And of course, Seto learned all that kind of behavior from Gozaburo. So sickening how Gozaburo poisoned that once-innocent mind.) Honestly, aside from them letting Pegasus take Mokuba, I'm more on the Big Five's side than Seto's, up to the point where they first start messing with virtual reality. As horrible as Seto treated them, that wasn't justified. I wish the dub hadn't inserted a murder plot in season 1 that didn't exist. I can't even watch that episode in the original dub anymore because that sickens me so. I always watch it in the uncut dub instead. I'm glad that was one of the few episodes that made it into the uncut dub.

I'm still getting pictures from ElfBean. Her latest is from my fic where Lector is a vigilante and I just adore it so much!

I feel like drawing a picture of Lector laying on his bed in his dress shirt and pants and tie, looking up at the ceiling. Usually it's Nesbitt I depict without his suitcoat, but after an RP scene I feel like I really want to show Lector like that too, squeee. He would look amazing! (Of course, he always looks amazing, heh.)

I had a really awesome and fun dream the other day about playing a video game where the player is interacting with the Big Five. Their memories have been mysteriously wiped and the goal is to help them find something they're looking for and restore their memories. It would work great as a visual novel type game, and apparently there are sites where people can make games like that without years of programming lessons! I definitely want to try it out! I have the sprites from the Nightmare Troubadour game that would be perfect to use in it! They looked so amazing in that game!

This is the checklist of everything I've bought for my birthday and a bit afterwards:

- Set of the first four Anna & Elsa chapter books set after the first Frozen
- The most recent Frozen 5 Minute Stories collection, the red cover one
- Frozen Blu-Ray and DVD combo (if we ever get a Blu-Ray, I can see all the cool bonus content!)
- Star Wars Qui-Gon Jinn 12 inch figure
- Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi from episode 1 12 inch figure
- Yu-Gi-Oh! Twisted Nightmares double deck set of Yami Bakura and Yami Marik (sooo awesome and perfect for my Yami Bakura memorabilia collection! There's a game mat with characters on it, and Skill cards with them on them, and cards at the beginning of the decks with them on them.)
- Halloween face mask that says Trick or Treat in an eerie font, perfect to use with my recycled Yami Bakura costume this year
- Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Chaos coloring book
- Yu-Gi-Oh! uncut dub volume 2, The Insector Combo (the only volume of uncut I don't have, and I finally decided I wanted it)
- Yu-Gi-Oh! character guide to villains
- Autumn socks

I decided that instead of a blog, I would do a vlog. http://www.youtube.com/user/luckyladybug66/videos I've thought for a long time that I would love talking to a camera, and I do.

I've documented all of my adventures with my Big Five G. I. Joes there and don't feel like recounting it all here, but if anyone just wants to see the current progress, I put up a picture on dA: http://meromeroyui.deviantart.com

A few things I discovered:

- I got the right paint. Moccasin Brown by Anita's creates a beautiful, very Lector skin color, just as I'd hoped.
- It is possible to paint an entire figure tan without making a huge mess.
- I can sew for 12 inch scale.
- Socks are hard.
- I hate sewing tops with sleeves in any scale.
- I think my purple piece of cotton is cursed, at least when it comes to making tops for Lector. Both for the plushie and the figure, the tops fought me at every turn and all manner of things went wrong, moreso than for any other top I've made for anyone. The pants, on the other hand, went swimmingly. (But maybe that was just to lure me into a false sense of security!)

I've been so occupied with crafting projects that I haven't felt too inspired for the current fic, one involving Siegfried. That, and I wasn't in a hurt/comfort mood due to exhaustion from the Zorc fic. But the other day I had a hurt/comfort dream where Mom and I did a role-play that included Crump being thought dead and Lector trying to be strong and then breaking down in front of Nesbitt and Johnson, who were so worried. (I don't know where Gansley was.) I woke up in a hurt/comfort mood again at last, although that may or may not help this particular fic. I'm still having a hard time fully remembering why I liked Siegfried so much, although I think part of it was that I got such a kick out of him deliberately being obnoxious and loving it. I'm planning to develop him with this fic, which should be fun, and it may or may not have some Christmas in July elements.

I always love Christmas in July on QVC, but I've been even more excited for it this year. They had an event last weekend to kick things off even though it wasn't July yet and I ate it up. I also got excited, as I always do, and wanted to buy something. Every year they have these cute walking animals. Last year they had penguins, but they sold out before I even got to see them. I thought sure they'd be back this year. They weren't, but there are some cute parrots. I've been tempted to buy them, but since I really wanted the penguins the most, I tried to find them and found one on eBay. I may get him, since I can't find any anywhere else. Wow, they really did sell out. There's no trace of them on any website that sells this line of plushies.

I'm also continuing figure hunting. Still looking for the perfect Gansley and Johnson. I found a perfect Crump, an apparently rare variant of a figure, but he's so expensive I can never have him. **cries.** I know I'll never find a better Crump. For Johnson, I'll probably have to go with the head sculpt I originally intended, as nothing else is even halfway like him. The face just doesn't quite sell me, but the hair style is right, and maybe with glasses he'll look better.

There are other Barbie and Star Wars characters I want too. I was following a Qui-Gon auction, but thanks to loud neighbors and horrific insomnia before sleep returned at last, I missed it by minutes. (Aurgh!) Thankfully, she relisted. And a new Mace Windu popped up, a little cheaper than the one I'd been looking at. The seller immediately sent me a private offer to get him for $10 and shipping. I wasn't passing that up! I felt really bad I couldn't accept a private offer I was sent for a two-figure lot of episode 1 Obi-Wan and Dengar, but I couldn't drop that much money in one place right now. But I didn't officially accept or deny the offer because I kept waffling and wishing I could get it right up to when it expired.

The holiday was pretty blah, but I expected that, and I have to say, it was way better than last year's 4th, when I didn't even get to have a pizza. I had one now. I've been getting Walmart's Rising Crust pizzas and they're a good substitute for Little Caesar's until I feel comfortable buying from them or any restaurant again. We also watched some inspiring One Step Beyond episodes, including a nice one about George Washington, so that felt good and patriotic. I also recorded Yankee Doodle Dandy, since our copy had thirty minutes edited out for commercial room (!!!). Hopefully we can watch that soon. We also saw lots of fireworks from the house. I still don't like letting everybody set off professional grade fireworks, but they are fun to watch ... when they don't get too close to the house. Every year, there's always some that do. That is a terrifying experience.

31 Days released their new prompts, but I didn't see them until now because I was too busy to drop in. The past day's prompt, the book and movie title Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, intrigued me the most on the list. I have been fascinated by that title like you wouldn't believe ever since I first learned of its existence years ago. I don't know that the book and movie would be my thing, but taking the title as a prompt and creating a story based around what it says to me sounds like a blast. A title like that could mean so many things. I tend to think of it in a religious light. And of course, I'd like it to involve Lector and Nesbitt. Maybe by Amnesty Day at the end of the month I'll have figured out what I can do with it.

Ugggh. Today was a mega insomnia day. During one of the periods of scant sleep, I had a bizarre and amusing dream. There was some kind of YGO RP going on. The other players were guys and I wanted in. I tried introducing some kind of intense plot with the Big Five. There was something about some odd ... house thing that they were in that seemed to be falling apart. I almost want to say it was a tree house, but it was a giant one if so, because it was at least two levels. Lector, I remember, was trying to get down to the first floor and wood broke and was swinging around and he was left hanging on the edge of what was left on the second floor. Then he jumped down to the other floor. Then it wasn't an RP and they were really there and it seemed like they were all held hostage by some antagonists. I wanted to get to them and talk to them for some reason, and I somehow weaseled my way in by telling the people holding them hostage that I was Gansley's granddaughter. **snerk.**

After waking up, I pondered on using the idea for a fic, with Tea being the one who has to get in to talk to them about something (probably about trying to escape). LOL. I could definitely picture her trying to trick the antagonists that way, if she had to.

I have had some weird and fun dreams the last couple of days. First it was a dream that had a segment where we were either watching or attending (I think it was watching on TV) Beetlejuice and Lydia getting married. Kind of WTH out of the blue, as my only recent association with the series has been seeing the boxset in Walmart. But I guess that was enough to get my mind thinking about things again. (I've contemplated getting the set, but when I read through the episode guide I wasn't sure there were enough episodes that sounded good instead of WTH material. It seemed like the pre-syndication episodes had a higher concentration of good ones, while the syndication ones were often WTH. And the syndication ones are the bulk of the series. So as much as part of me kind of wants to get it, I'm not sure I ever will. On the other hand, since I keep kind of wanting to, maybe it will happen someday.)

Then the dream shifted and I was watching The Rockford Files and found that there was another episode with Ginger and Lou, but they were played by different people and didn't even look much like themselves. It was a weird mish-mash, as it was supposedly a more recently made episode, yet Jim looked the same, and I projected that the reason there were different guest-stars was because both Christopher Cary and Luke Andreas had died. The dream was oddly interesting and amusing, with them seeming to be on okay terms with Jim, but they'd gotten mixed up in some fraud scheme and were being arrested. I think they got bailed out and were talking to Jim later.

This past day I had a dream of watching a YGO arc that was either a revamp of season 5 or a different season 5. Yami Bakura was wearing the black coat, and he was the antagonist, but it was set up with him being very philosophical and more justice-driven, instead of clearly unhinged as he got during his Shadow Game with Atem. There was no mention of Zorc, but it seemed like he was collecting various ancient Egyptian artifacts (not the Millennium Items) to bring some kind of plan of his to pass. He was a sympathetic character and I was rooting for him. I got startled out of that dream, sadly, but it may have been ending anyway. I was surprised it went on as long as it did. I wish it had been able to conclude, though. A handful of my dreams actually have decent endings instead of shifting to other things beforehand.

I wrote an entire oneshot in several hours and posted it. I forgot about an idea I'd had, remembered it in the morning, wrote some of it in the afternoon and then wrote the rest at night. It's dialogue-heavy rather than having a lot of introspection, but still. It's in the neighborhood of 5,800+ words. It's been a while since that happened.

Basically, the idea was "... What if some jerk who wanted Meowth kidnapped him and put another Meowth in his place, a badly hurt Meowth, and Jessie and James think that it's their Meowth and he's been hurt so badly he doesn't remember how to talk?" Then that combined with me wanting to write something involving the instructor from The Ultimate Test episode. I did not like that guy for several reasons. I thought parts of the test were unfair. I didn't like that he was determined to have Meowth, even though he knew Meowth was with Jessie and James and he must have surely thought one of them was Meowth's Trainer. When he's hailed as a good guy, I rather expect better behavior from him than from the antagonists! Then I really didn't like that when he knew his Meowth got blasted off, he wasn't even worried about the poor thing and was only focused on having a chance to get the talking Meowth. So he got set up as the antagonist in the fic. I hope it's not OOC. I definitely based it on those things in canon, but I don't know what the general fanbase opinion of the guy is (if the fanbase has an opinion on him at all).

On ... Sunday, I think it was, I had a very weird and bizarre and unsettling dream that ... seemed to involve Team Rocket discovering that their final fate was being sealed in wax, as statues, and they could not escape it. Jessie even tried a decoy of herself, hoping that would get zapped instead of her and then she could escape and try to save the others, but it didn't work. (There was also some really weird thing about her being older than she looks/never aging, which I of course don't plan to do anything with.) It was one of those dreams that sticks with you and continues to be unsettling when you're awake, and I decided the only thing to do was to blurbize it and write a solution to the problem, because it being their final fate is unacceptable. Haven't written the solution yet, but I did have Ash and Pikachu find them and determine to save them and everyone else the Pokemon has coated in wax in the chamber. It feels very movie-like, so I may or may not try to make a full fic out of it. I'm planning that Ash either tames the Pokemon who hurt everyone or else he finds another one that's willing to reverse the damage (since movies seem to have at least two Legendary Pokemon in them). I'm picturing that the Pokemon releases everyone else first, then comes to Team Rocket and asks Ash if he really wants them released too. Of course, Ash says yes, that even though they cause him so much trouble, he doesn't think they deserve such a horrible fate. And at times they've been helpful, so they have good in them.

I like Ash way more than I used to. I would really get bent out of shape 15 years ago, frustrated with the constant blasting off since he could really, seriously hurt Team Rocket. I still don't like that, but I'm frustrated with Team Rocket for a lot of things too, so overall I've decided the whole cast is flawed, the whole series has cartoon physics and logic on both sides, and hey, let's love the characters and the show for the good in them and try to bring out those sides in the stories instead of having up and down characterization for both good and bad guys. I love having Ash interact with Team Rocket in my fics these days. It's a lot of fun.

On one of my many rewatches of Mewtwo Returns (which got watched, I think, about nine times in two weeks ... I renewed it, but had to send it back for real yesterday and I am very sad about that), I then watched a very early season 1 episode right after. The contrast was quite striking. It was neat realizing how much Ash matured and grew by the time of Mewtwo Returns!

(I also wonder why I never really heard much about it 15 years ago. I was on the lookout for anything that was good to Team Rocket and I would have been all over it. Instead, I really didn't understand what it was. All the different Mewtwo names were really confusing to me. Like, the first movie seemed to be called both Mewtwo Strikes Back and Mewtwo vs. Mew, so that really confused me, and then there was this other thing called Mewtwo Returns. I just wasn't even sure what was what. And then now I've found out there's a female Mewtwo in Best Wishes and I just don't even know what to think. It didn't sound like they did much, if anything, with the Team Rocket organization wanting her back, like they did the first Mewtwo, unless that was only in the prequel episode, and the movie with her sounds like a complicated mess and just a way to try to bring back a popular character without necessarily having a good storyline or reason why. Why not check in with the original Mewtwo instead of creating another one?! From what I read, it just felt so very badly done. Team Rocket would be frantic to get her back after losing the first one. WTH. Of course, they do have the trio trying to catch her, but there's not the intensity of the entire organization after her and such. And I'm glad, at least, that with the trio trying to catch her, it's not the same Mewtwo as before, because in light of Mewtwo Returns I would really get bent out of shape if the writers did that and had Team Rocket turn against the original Mewtwo after their adventures.)

My Jessie and James figures are here! Right on time too. They look exactly as pictured! It's always nice to get exactly what you think you paid for. They're a lot heavier and sturdier than I was thinking, though, which is awesome. I was picturing them being about like my YGO figures. These are way heavier, even though they're around the same size. I love it! With Jessie I did the same thing I did with my Marik figure and wrapped a piece of white cloth around the bare midriff, LOL. One never knows when Dad might wander in and see the figures. Of course, he wouldn't like the short skirt either (nor do I), but the boots come up so high that I usually don't think as much about the skirt. Meowth has shipped and will hopefully come soon!

I had a series of strange dreams today. One oddball one involved my YGO board game, although of course the gameplay in the dream was nothing like what it is in real-life. It involved the board looking like a woods backdrop or something. Then I had a bizarre dream about some nutcase who was extremely reluctant to go get help about something and had to literally be dragged to get it. Napoleon Solo was in that one, with someone actually asking him about all the rumors about him basically being James Bond with all the women. He just smiled and gave a very vague answer to keep up the mystery.

The final dream I had before waking up actually involved a local production of Pokemon Live and I was playing Jessie and people actually enjoyed my performance. There was a second performance the next day and I was so involved in the dream that when I started waking up, I was thinking, "Oh no, I missed the performance and the understudy had to go on...."

It was a really nice dream. Usually the last dreams of the day are real bummers, so this was a great change. It was kind of sad to fully wake up and realize that no, there was no performance and I wasn't playing Jessie, though. Heh.

I don't even know if I'd do a good job as Jessie. I'd rather play James, but that wouldn't really work, so Jessie would be the next best thing since I'd get to be with James. I don't know, though; I used to be more random and silly in real-life than I am now, so maybe if I dipped into that part of my personality I could pull it off.

Finally got the Turtles fic done. I hope nothing looks rushed. I wasn't sure how to end it, so the epilogue is short, and then it's more of a humor installment, so I didn't want to get too in-depth with more serious things. People seem to like it, though, so that's good!

... And I finally got a review on the Dead and Alive rewrite on FF.net! Awesome.

Was discussing the Moltres episode with Crystal and wondering exactly what James might dare to do if he had continued on his power trip. We eventually started musing on the thought of a One Ring-type corruption storyline and she suggested writing a version of Control Freak where James has the mask instead of Jessie. I watched the part of that episode where Jessie has the mask, hoping for a plunnie. I got one, but not what I expected. I wouldn't want James to act like Jessie did in that episode, especially since she really did seem to just be on a power trip instead of being corrupted. I would hate to see my favorite character behave that way and I'm also not sure James would be strong enough to take it once he realized what he'd been doing. And I think with James, he's the type of character whom I want to either be a hero or a victim, or both, but not the one causing the problem. (Of course, I did that possession fic, but it was the evil spirit causing the problem there and James was fighting it.) Interestingly, as I recall, when James went on his power trip in the Moltres episode, he wasn't mean to Jessie and Meowth. He just took over as the leader and wanted to lead them all to greatness. Jessie, on the other hand, immediately started treating James and Meowth like dirt. Well, she does that half the time anyway, but even moreso when she got a taste of power.

Of course, the plunnie I got was dark. And I don't know that I'd do anything with it beyond a blurb to satisfy my own curiosity about the scenario. But I found Jessie's treatment of them so off-putting that I got a plunnie where the mask really is corrupting her/taking her over and it gets so bad that when James realizes what's going on and tries to stop her, she responds by ... somehow impaling him with the bottom of the staff. But as he falls, he says he knows this isn't Jessie. That would break the spell over her, but then I'd be left with the problem of how to fix it. One of those rare times where I'd need a magical healing on hand, I guess.... Or reversing time, but that's a cop-out. I thought of an alternate version where she commands James' Pokemon and Meowth to attack him and they beat him up almost to death before she's able to break the spell and order them to stop, but I actually think that would be worse. Then Weezing and Victreebel would be haunted by having hurt him, especially since, judging by Meowth in the episode, they would be completely aware and just unable to stop themselves. I don't think they would be very forgiving to Jessie, even though she was corrupted and not herself, and that would be sad for everyone. Maybe I could make it random wild Pokemon instead of James' Pokemon, but I think part of the point was that the mask had caused her to fall so far that she would really do something so cruel as having James' Pokemon attack him when he opposed her.

Also the problem that someone else already took the Control Freak episode and made it serious with Jessie getting possessed by the mask and I wouldn't want to inadvertently write anything similar to their story. I can't remember their name or the fic's name to check on it. I never read it, both because it looked really long and because it was a romance, but I'm tentatively guessing that anything I'd do would be different from her effort and I wouldn't need to worry.

... Toys R Us filed for bankruptcy. At least it's Chapter 11 and not 7, so the stores are staying put for now, but maybe they'll start closing some eventually. And in any case, it seems like Chapter 11 is how it always starts. Borders filed for Chapter 11 and then folded within a couple of years. K-Mart filed for Chapter 11 and even though they're still hanging on, I don't have much hope for their continued survival. And now Sears is going down with them since they're one company following the Chapter 11.

Seriously, though, please no. It was horrible enough to lose Borders and to have the K-Marts leave the state. Toys R Us cannot fold!

So I did search for stuff about The Loner last night and I found a very nice and informative article on a Rod Serling website. It's pretty much what I thought it would be once I learned he was involved, mostly downer or bittersweet endings. But it does sound like a powerful series. I probably would want to see it for Lloyd Bridges, if nothing else, since Mike Hammer is honestly a pretty downer series but is worth watching for Darren McGavin. However, I don't think I would make buying The Loner a priority ahead of other things. I may ask for it, though.

And with my preoccupation over the Pokemon DVD set shipping and trying to decide what to do about the other DVD sets, naturally it was expected that I would have a Pokemon dream sooner or later. Naturally it also heavily involved Team Rocket, especially James and Meowth, but while awake, I can't seem to recall many of the details.

It did cause me to go on another nostalgia trip and try to figure out why I got interested in those characters. I was obsessed with them to the point of trying to get merchandise involving them, including some stickers, a magazine with a Men In Black parody poster, and videos with my favorite episodes. (I only managed to get one of my most favorites to own, although I have four tapes.) I also tried to get a cute gift bag Toys R Us had, but I missed that one. And I wanted a huge Meowth plush that was only $20 at Toys R Us. I remember holding it longingly on my 16th birthday. I was absolutely ecstatic when one of my aunts brought him later that night as a present! And let's not forget the time I tried to dress up as Jessie for Halloween. I still wish I'd played James instead, because my costume was really more his in every way except for the wig. (No way would I wear a midriff shirt or a short skirt!) Then more recently, my failure at getting the shirt F.Y.E. carried. And I never have managed to get any of the figure releases, although I've wanted to.

Then there were the few times I did get plunnied for Pokemon fics. I think the only ones I actually finished were the one deconstructing Ash always electrocuting them and blasting them off and one where James is thought dead and turns up running around with amnesia. Oh, and one where Team Rocket helps the kids when they get in life-threatening trouble. Then I had one where the trio tries to leave the Team Rocket organization after James witnesses a near-murder (which was a tie-in with a YGO fic I did, actually) and a random hurt/comfort one where he and Jessie got into an argument and he later ended up hurt. I haven't looked at them for many years. They're probably terrible now, LOL. I think they may have been written before I was told my stories looked script-like and needed more details.

Anyway, I honestly can't remember why I initially found them so compelling. I don't recall at all what the first Pokemon episode is that I watched. But perhaps whatever it was, Team Rocket did something interesting that made me want to know more about them. So I may have looked them up, decided they were intriguing, and promptly wanted to get episodes focusing on them. I do remember going after all the videos in the library that I could with interesting Team Rocket episodes.

I think why I find them interesting now is that they seem to be good deep down, no matter how they try to be bad, and I like their close friendship with each other. I did play on the shipping bandwagon for a time, but then I got turned off because of one fan's obsessiveness over insisting on the pairing. The more she insisted it should be, the more I balked with why it shouldn't be. Now I like it better as kept in a platonic light. Boy and girl friendships are too few and far in-between in media.

I am very eager for the DVD set to arrive. I do wonder if I'll be able to stick to my goal of saving it to get into until my birthday. I am so anxious to see some of my most favorites again.

It's been my week for oddball dreams, too. I also had a strange one involving Vincent getting into a fight with an evil Iron Man rip-off, which is just all kinds of WTH. I haven't even seen any of the films with that character, so the only inspiration could have been talking to someone who was mentioning the Marvel attractions at Walt Disney World and such. Anyway, Vincent came out on the losing end of the fight and was thought dead. Baxter and Barney later confronted Shredder about it, and I don't know what he had to do with it. Maybe he hired the weirdo. And then a technician from their father's company was examining Vincent and it looked like he was mostly okay; the technician said the damage had been 92% fixed.

So then I got in the mood for some more Vincent hurt/comfort and started finally writing the Electric Soul fic, which has been on the docket for months and kept getting pushed back. That idea was in place shortly after Barney's redemption, so way back in winter. And at last I was ready for it! It feels good to write it. I was able to use most of my original blurb in it, although some things had to be tweaked or changed to fit things as they are now. Probably now is the best time to write it, too, since there are supernatural themes and it's kind of Halloweeny.

Wooow, what a long day. Made even longer by the fact that I only got four-ish hours of sleep. I had plenty of time for a good sleep, but my body refused. Ugh. As soon as the batch of wash I'm doing is done, I hope to sleeeep.

First thing was that Dad wanted to visit an old friend. We got lost finding the street. But finally we did, and as soon as I saw the place, I remembered vividly being there years ago. It was also August back then, August the 5th, but temperatures were cooler and I waited in the car and wrote and observed some kids at the house across the street. It was honestly an outing I remember very fondly. We drove around the area afterwards and I saw a bride running through her front yard to the back yard. Apparently she was having either the wedding, the reception, or both on her property. We stopped for gas around 8 and I observed that the sun was going down. It was a hint of autumn on the way and I was thrilled. I even remember what I was writing: it was the early chapters of my YGO mystery Ballistic in Boston, when the Jackie Chan Adventures character Viper showed up. I'm not even fully sure why the memory of that outing makes me so happy, as I don't recall finding anything awesome while shopping. But it was such a nice, peaceful street and I was happy to sit there and write and watch those kids and I loved the hint of autumn.

Anyway, this trip out, it was way too hot to even think of me staying in the car. It was practically 100! Uggggh. So I went in. Luckily, the visit didn't last much more than thirty minutes, and the man was very nice.

K-Mart was ... oh brother, a mess. Unlike our K-Mart, which tried to keep order despite closing, this one was helter-skelter, especially in the toy department. Everything was everywhere! I had to dig through the toys on all shelves to make sure I didn't miss something awesome. Only by doing that did I find a Miraculous Ladybug figure, one of Marinette in casual clothes. That was awesome, and she was 10% cheaper than she would have been had I bought figures when our K-Mart had some. The dream that shook me up so much regarding that show seemed to be more in the background, so I snapped her up. Cat Noir was unfortunately the subject of the horrible dream and seeing his picture on the back of the card made me chill a bit, so I don't know if I would have got a figure of him had I seen it. Looks like it will still take a while for the dream to fully stop upsetting me. It's not that I'm leery of Cat Noir; it's just that he reminds me of the dream and it was extremely upsetting to me.

I also saw a doll of Chloe that looked amazingly accurate, but I don't like her and won't like her unless she shapes up this season, so I opted not to get that even though it was a temptation from the high level of accuracy. Then there was a figure of Marinette as Ladybug, but it was a fancy figure that could twirl, and even with the discount, I didn't think I should get that right now because I need to help with grocery money. So I just got the other Marinette figure.

Didn't see any 87 Turtles stuff except another of those Leonardo hats that really hurt to wear. There was lots of Nick Turtles stuff, though. And I find myself regretting I didn't get the snow cone maker. I wanted it badly at our K-Mart, but I couldn't get it then. This K-Mart didn't have it quite as cheap yet, so I still didn't get it. Now I'm thinking that for the sake of 10% more, I really should have, because it's unlikely I can get back to our K-Mart before they close and also unlikely that they will still have any of that product. I didn't realize I wanted the snow cone maker so badly. I'll see how I feel after sleep.

The class reunion had wonderful food! Potato salad, and potatoes drenched in butter, and chicken salad, and lettuce and tomato salad, and chicken teriyaki, and buttered rolls, and so many wonderful desserts! Cheesecake! Lemon cake! Eclairs! Some other cream puffy thing! Ice water! And luckily, I remembered to bring sandwich bags so I could smuggle food out if I didn't finish it all. There were also lots of leftovers on the buffet table, so I decided to help by running off with some of them. I'm not sure if the hotel just throws away the leftovers or what. I heard that if the roast wasn't completely finished, what was left of it would be thrown away. So wasteful! Why not let the employees have it? But anyway. I wasn't interested in the roast, but I ran off with the food I did love.

Aside from the food, though, I have to say that I was underwhelmed by the reunion. It didn't last long, and while I was grateful since I wanted to do more shopping, I was sad at the same time because it felt like there really wasn't much to the reunion and there really should have been, when it's the last official one they're going to have. Five years ago, they had an elaborate program with people singing fifties songs and I just adored it. This time, the program was very short. Everything, including the dinner part, was over within a couple of hours. Nobody seemed to want to stay and visit for long after the official festivities were over. I'm glad my focus switched to being excited more for the shopping, as otherwise I would have been tremendously disappointed. Part of the reason I looked forward to it for five years was because of how awesome the last one was.

I also felt a little less connected than I did the last time. That may be because my main interests right now are cartoons rather than 1950s shows, although I still adore them as much as I ever did.

Since things let out earlier, I debated whether I wanted the big F.Y.E. or Toys R Us more. I chose the former, and I don't regret it. I found an 87 Turtles shirt on clearance for $3! I also saw that they had been selling a shirt with the Team Rocket crew on it, but I couldn't seem to find any aside from the display copy, sadly. I'm planning to try to find the shirt online later.

We needed to grab a couple of items at Wal-Mart, so we hurried across the street to it. When we lived at the old house, that Wal-Mart was always my favorite. It always seemed to have more stuff than other Wal-Marts.

It didn't disappoint. After years, I finally got season 4 of The Wild Wild West! Squeeeee! And for cheaper than Amazon was selling it for! This is honestly the first time I've seen season 4's DVD set in person. I exclaimed out loud when I saw it and I immediately snapped it up. I have taped copies of those episodes, but I bet they're cut for commercial time.

I also saw two Baxters in the figure area! I didn't blog about this yet either, but I've finally been getting some more work and I felt I could offer the Baxter I had to my friend as a gift, as originally intended. And I was very happy that he wanted it and was thrilled with it! I'd like to get him another to make into Barney, as he's expressed the desire to have a Barney too and wishes he could find the figures in his area, but I wasn't sure I should get one right then after I'd had a mini-shopping spree and when I need to help with grocery money for at least a while. And I think the stores down here will be having more of him soon. The one two towns over is finally getting ready to sell the Mutagen Canister line! So I didn't get one. Hope I won't regret that too.

So overall, an awesome shopping time! And I am totally exhausted.

Also, I finally figured out how to get the tablet's Bluetooth keyboard to work, so now I can use it like a mini-laptop. Squeee. It will make typing long messages on the tablet very plausible and pleasant! Usually I've avoided typing long messages on the tablet and wait till I get back to the laptop. Now I won't necessarily have to, depending on what I'm doing while using the tablet.

I got the keyboard hooked up in case I wanted to take the tablet and write story scenes using the keyboard, but I'm glad I didn't. I only had a bit of writing time while Dad was visiting with his friend, so I did it the old-fashioned way, in a paper notebook.