insaneladybug | Entries tagged with fanfiction

Some things the same, some better.

I'm getting paid now by a veteran's organization to take care of Dad. The money helps a lot, both for things needed in the household and fun things. I've had the freedom to buy things I couldn't before, which makes me very happy. One of my most treasured things is the Play Arts Kai Advent Children Sephiroth with wing. He arrived on my birthday last October and I adore him so much.

I finally got a Switch Lite and have plenty of games for it. Best discovery was realizing I could actually play Final Fantasy VII after loving it for so many years. I spent hours reading the game script, I watched countless cutscenes, watched Advent Children over and over, but I never had access to the games to be able to actually play them. Playing it at last and getting to actually experience those beloved characters' story opened story floodgates for me and I've had lots of ideas for both FF and KH stories. I'm also finally able to play Crisis Core, which I also love.

Twilight and Dawn timeline has definitely taken off and I've been writing many stories with Cloud and Sephiroth after they've grown even closer. I feel I should probably insert a few stories to bridge the gap between where the timeline left off and the first recent fic taking place after the other fics that showed them much closer than before, but I don't know. Maybe it looks okay as it is, especially since that recent fic has a crisis in it and said crisis furthered their closeness in it. I love those guys so much.

I overhauled my KH fic timeline after finally looking into Birth By Sleep and deciding it was time to accept it and work with it and that it mostly helped the main things I wanted to have in my timeline, mainly Sephiroth being his own person and actually trying to help Cloud instead of hurt him. My new KH timeline is way better than the old one and also accepts the magical nature of the source material much more. Seph has a much better and happier backstory, especially regarding his wings, and he no longer is bound to Cloud like in the old timeline. He's trying to help completely of his own free will. So much better.

Bought a gaming laptop and am able to run Dissidia NT on it. I play that most every day, always as either FF or KH Seph. It's funny that a fighting game is actually calming and comforting to me, but I think it's mostly because of being able to play as Seph. Smash Ultimate is another comfort game for the same reason, as is my ROM of Dissidia 012. I also have Rebirth and the mod that lets me play as Seph in at least some of it other than just chapter 1. That is delightful. The graphics in that game are so beautiful and I'm always swooning over Seph's gorgeousness in it.

Theatrhythm Final Bar Line is such a wholesome and adorable game, and useful to try to learn timing in music better. I like getting that out a lot too. My main team of Seph, Cloud, Zack, and Aerith reached Level 99 within a week or two, lol. Of course, it's fast leveling up in that game, but still.

The Eevee colony has expanded exponentially. And Pokemon Center is doing a Year of Eevee event, which of course has contributed to the expansion.

Very upset about Joann closing. I wish someone would step in and save them like someone did for Big Lots. Big Lots isn't even the same unique store it used to be, but there's really nothing that can replace Joann. I'm stocking up for future crafting projects and need to get back there again for more. It still doesn't feel real to lose it.

Party City is gone now too, save for the franchise locations that weren't affected by the bankruptcy (and the Canadian stores owned by other people). I'm glad I did end up getting the Eevee cardboard cutout when they got it back in stock last autumn.

Current Mood: cheerful

Christmas was basically very nice. I did manage to capture the feel of a Christmas from my childhood, which I had so desperately longed to do. It made me very happy. I also discovered cutting many dolls and figures out of their packaging can really hurt the thumb. My skin is dry and it cracked a lot there.

One of my favorite gifts is the Encanto doll set I've been wanting for a year! I was so thrilled Azalea542 got it for me! I have them set up on a metal tray right near my bed. They can stand on their own, which is so cool. I also got the Bruno and Dolores dolls so I'd have all the released dolls. I hope they will make the other characters too.

Another lovely gift was a gift card from Ladyamberjo so I could get Sylveon. I was sick of missing out on the Eevee family plushies at Build-a-Bear and I wanted to grab her since she's a favorite. That outing was a time. Almost everything that could go wrong on that outing did. Thankfully, we managed to return with Sylveon or it would have all been pointless. It started precipitating. I objected. Dad insisted we keep going, for some reason. We had to stop and get something from my sister. We had to get gas and had a hard time getting the locked gas cap off. We got stuck in a ditch for which there was no warning sign posted. People were very kind and helped us get out, but it took an hour or more. When we finally got to the mall, some mysterious thing had gone wrong and the store was temporarily closed?! I waited a bit, left in discouragement, then tried calling before leaving the parking lot. They were open again, so I went back for Sylveon. There was already a line forming, so I had to wait a bit more. Driving home was a nightmare as the precipitation continued. But at last we made it!

I got some more Eevees and watched The Rings of Power. I loved it and named Eevees Merry and Pippin. ThickerThanLove sent me the Lord of the Rings bear from Build-a-Bear, squeee! He looks like Frodo, with brown curly fur and blue eyes. I need something to name Sam next.

I am still furious at Nintendo cutting off eShop access to 3DS and 2DS tomorrow. I spent most of this past week looking for things to snap up. There was a big sale on Capcom games, for some awesome reason. I got Mega Man Legacy Collection. Mega Man games are hard. I can't jump on the bad guys and they swarm me really fast. I can't blast them all. I'm really happy to have the games, though. I'll figure it out. I was disappointed I couldn't seem to find anything else. I already got most of the awesome stuff I could afford in the months prior. Then I finally thought to look up Phoenix Wright. Those games were also on sale, for an incredible $2.99 each! Even the trilogy set! After spending much more than I really intended or wanted to (especially on DLC), I have many Phoenix games. I wasn't going to get Apollo Justice, but NinetalesUK finally convinced me I should. If I happen to take to him and the other characters from his games, I probably would be upset to not have the first game with them. I am notorious for balking at things and then loving them when I finally try them. For $2.99, I figured I'd better get it.

I got Investigations for the iPhone, since that was the only way to get it. (Yes, I have an iPhone.) But apparently I will only get the first case and have to drop a lot more to get the rest. I don't know when that will be, since I've already spent a lot. I'm enjoying the first case. Miles is still my favorite; playing as him is wonderful.

I still wish someone could use Radley's sprites from Over the Nexus to make a video game with him. I wish I could do that. I have no skills and would have to learn.

I got my dad's HP laptop working again and downloaded Steam onto it. Then I got The Disney Afternoon Collection, which was on sale for $5. I have always wanted to play those games. Darkwing is hard like Mega Man. The Chip and Dale games are the easiest. I am enjoying them all, even though I'm having trouble getting very far in them. I'll figure it out.

I had plans to get the Leafeon plush at Build-a-Bear, even though I'd have to do the online bundle with unnecessary clothes. I still want to try to make it work even after needing to snap up all that Nintendo stuff before it's gone. I have tried for days to convince my brain it is foolish. My brain will not listen. It's the only way to get him. I'm hoping I can re-sell the clothes, at least the sleeper. I might like the cape enough to keep it, but the onesie seems very silly. I don't want to cover up all that beautiful fur. If he hasn't sold out yet, I plan to order him tonight. He will make a lovely Easter gift. I'm tired of missing out on the Build-a-Bears. I wish I'd got him and Glaceon when they were briefly in physical stores last year, and Umbreon when he was online again briefly.

Some family members wanted me and Dad to get on their Verizon phone plan with them and we'd get iPhones. Mine was free! It's 13. The camera is glorious and I've taken videos of the kitty. The space is also glorious. I have 128GB! And there's not a lot of bloatware. It looks like I can delete whatever I want to, too. I like using the iPhone as a gaming device, mostly. I see both pros and cons of it. It's much harder to type on; if I need to correct a mistake, I can't even go right to the mistake. I have to erase the whole word! There's no headphone jack. Clearing caches is much harder. Apparently I'm supposed to hit offload app, but the description sounded much more complicated than a simple clearing of the cache. It sounded like I would have to redownload the app any time I clicked offload! Some of those apps are big. I don't have time to keep redownloading them! I got my dad's Motorola Android phone since he didn't need it anymore. It has 64GB, which is also good. I like to use it for most other Internet activities since Google devices are easier to manage in a lot of ways. Two of my tablets have been dying a lot, leaving me with the Amazon Fire tablet and these phones. I am happy to have them all.

I found someone called ZakuraRain who will do beautiful pictures for only $3, $6 if it's colored! They call them doodles, but they're definitely higher quality than mere doodles. I've got four pictures from them so far.

Fanfiction writing is slow at times, but still going on. I'm writing some enjoyable Kalin and Radley stories. Sometimes inspiration flows.

I also finally put the collars and lapels on the Kalin and Radley plushies' coat and jacket. I need to take pictures. I was going to get silver snaps for Radley, but I couldn't find the right kind and then I wondered if even the lightweight duster kind would weigh the light material down a lot.

Current Mood: okay

This graphic I was shown today.... I can relate strongly to many of these. The overanalysis? Absolutely. Anyone who really knows me knows how I pick apart things fearing that I've done something wrong or that someone thinks I have. Terrified of dropping the mask? Oh yes. Online that isn't as much of an issue, but offline it is. Inability to share my feelings? Totally and completely, especially since I discovered that trying to tends to result in me being even more hurt. Self-doubt and questioning my worth? Yes. To some extent I relate to concerns that I'm overreacting too. Usually I find I wasn't concerned enough, instead of too much. Believing bad things will happen? Yes, although sadly and ironically enough, I'm also still stupid enough to keep thinking surely things will work out better this time and I stay in toxic situations far longer than I should because I keep foolishly believing there are ways to fix it.

I'm not sure what to make or feel about any of this. I'm damaged and I've known that for years. Relating to the graph feels like validation. But part of me thinks that there must be some other explanation when it's me, because of course my experiences haven't been as horrible as other people's, therefore, if anything I've been through was enough to traumatize me, it must mean I'm pathetic. And naturally, the very fact that I have such feelings must be further proof that I'm pretty damaged and that I've been made to feel very inadequate through the years. There are so many who try to lift me up, but the ones who emotionally stabbed me have really dug deep.

The worst blows, of course, are from people I trusted. Not my family, really, for the most part, but people I trusted almost as deeply. More than, in some cases. Although my brother gave me a lifelong hatred of being teased because of how he used to torment me. To this day I struggle with seeing teasing as good clean fun. For me it absolutely wasn't. I felt unrespected and disvalued. I don't think that was his intention, but that was the result. I dreaded being around him because 98% of the time, those negative experiences would result. No one really seemed to understand how upsetting it was to have things precious to me taken away or for me to get sat on. It was just "Oh, standard sibling teasing" and it wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was a big deal. It affected me more deeply than other people, and whether that means I'm pathetic or not, I don't know.

Things that were upsetting to me were often treated as things no one should be upset about by non-family people I trusted implicitly. Tropes that distressed me to the point of agony or panic, like my hated way of dying, were mocked and treated like a joke and like no one else would be upset by it. If I was upset because of unkind things being said and said that was something that made me cry, I was laughed at. The reason why I'd get so upset was because I feared it meant the person wouldn't want anything more to do with me and would leave. That has often been the root of my distress. I don't know why I had that fear, but I did and still do. My default is still to think that if someone gets upset, they're going to leave. I know that is stupid. Although sometimes it really has happened.

Feeling inadequate extends to pretty much every aspect of what I do. Radley went through some horrible things in my verses: seeing torture, experiencing torture, feeling abandoned and left to die alone, really dying, having a terrifying out of body experience.... But it seems like other characters have had worse and that my attempts to write trauma are meager and that Radley shouldn't fall apart the way he does when triggered since the other characters who have been through even worse don't. To me it feels logical that he would not handle it well when he never had a chance to recover from what he went through before being pulled into other things. But I feel so inadequate compared to the other characters and that I must be doing it wrong since everyone else's characters are different. Maybe a lot of the others have larger than life situations while Radley's is more grounded in reality by comparison. I don't know.

I think the inadequacy is why I'm so hungry for reviews. I like to be told I did something good. Maybe I need to be told. I like it to be public for everyone to see it said. When I don't get reviews, I take it to mean that what I wrote wasn't good enough to warrant a review. It's not reasonable and in most cases is likely not true. But I don't know how to make myself not feel that way.

I could certainly be paranoid at least sometimes. But the problem with paranoia is that in many cases, the person really did experience what they fear and the paranoia is the fear of it happening again. Sometimes it does. I get told things aren't about me when I overanalyze and worry, but then it often looks like they really are and it wasn't paranoia at all.

I would love to be able to get therapy. But even if my insurance would cover it, I would be afraid to do it. Mom would worry about me for feeling I needed it, and Dad would just scoff that I don't need it. There's enough upheaval in our lives as it is. I don't want to make more.

Sigh.

Current Mood: indescribable

I broke down crying before bed yesterday. This year has been beating me over the head as it is, and I know it's been hard for others as well. To lose Kazuki Takahashi is to lose a dear friend. This year marks 20 years of knowing and loving YGO. When JP wanted me to watch The Powerpuff Girls while it was on Kids WB, the trailers for YGO intrigued me even though most of them were silly, cheeky things. I just knew I had to watch it. One episode (The Evil Spirit of the Ring, a classic), and I was hooked. JP was skeptical and didn't think it would last as an interest, but I knew I'd found something special. The characters, the plot, the humor (yes, I enjoyed the 4Kids humor) ... ! It all combined to make an intense and beautiful series about friendship, villain redemption, and forgiveness.

There are so many stories I could tell about how and why YGO is important to me and how magical it was looking for merchandise. Many stories I've already told. I'll admit I've never been as fond of the manga as I am the anime, and it took me a long time to try the manga after hearing of some of the darker elements in it. But it was there for me when I was ready for it, and nothing would exist without the manga and those first, rough versions of the characters. Kazuki Takahashi created so many of the beloved YGO DM characters and designed some of the spin-off characters. I wish I knew if he designed Radley and Kalin. Over the Nexus lists him as a character designer as though all the characters in it were his designs. I am so grateful he had the ideas for the manga and the characters. He brought something incredible to life that will continue to live on in his memory.

Here's a tale I'm not sure I ever shared publicly. I dreamed about YGO before I even knew what it was. Honestly, I'm the first to be skeptical about people thinking all answers are to be found in dreams. But I do think every now and then, there can be a meaningful or even a prophetic dream. I have no idea why I would be sent a dream of YGO, but I like to think it was because God knew it would literally change my life in many positive ways. I dreamed it was the day after my birthday and I was watching a show on TV. It was part four of the Yugi and Pegasus duel, the part when Yugi sacrifices himself and Pegasus is mocking him. The computer was also involved in the dream; I think I was looking stuff up about the next episode. I woke up utterly baffled and dismissed it as nonsense. Months, even years later, the dream was fulfilled every whit and I remembered it. That was a moment. That's one thing about my dreams; the few times I actually have a prophetic one, it's told to me straight out, no silly symbolism or whatnot. I don't know why. I guess God knows I want it told to me straight? I'll still be confused about it if I have no idea about any of the things in the dream.

I could never document all the ways YGO is special to me or tell every amazing experience I've had because of it. If you look through the tag of YGO on my journals, you'll find accounts of many such experiences. Those times seeking merchandise are often some of my most happy memories. It was a more innocent time, when anime was fresh and newly becoming part of established pop culture. Because of YGO, I improved my writing, I learned how to draw people, and I met so many wonderful people. Some are even still my friends. And I'm still meeting new wonderful people too. YGO brings people together, and that is something Kazuki Takahashi hoped for, as recorded in one of his anecdotes from the beginning of a manga volume.

I don't understand why he had to be taken so soon. He was still young. It's even more heartbreaking because as I understand it, he was on a vacation and just trying to have a little relaxation and fun exploring sea life. I'm just heartbroken, as is the whole YGO fanbase. I was just about to post a story when I heard the news. I decided to dedicate it to him even though it's 5Ds. All YGO exists because of his first ideas. (And he even created the first Turbo Duel, as Marik is dueling through Strings while riding his motorcycle in the manga!) I also decided to hold off posting until after sleeping and doing one more proofread. I never like to rush a post and realize I should have added something more later, and especially in his honor, I wanted to make sure it was as good as it could be. I posted it in the afternoon after some important tweaks.

In my room I am surrounded by YGO merchandise, much of it official and some of it custom-made by me or other fans. I tried my hand at customizing dolls and figures to be YGO characters. I made plushies and plan to make more. I put together cosplays as characters. I drew and drew, and wrote and wrote and wrote. YGO inspires me, and if all the different things I've written for are added up, I'm pretty sure I've written more for YGO than for anything else. There are so many characters, angles, new plots and adventures they can go on! Right now, 5Ds Week/Month is getting underway. Azureweek (Seto/Tea) will be in a couple of months. And there are many other events for creativity based around YGO. The fans still love YGO all these years later and are always finding new ways to express that love. Kazuki Takahashi created something truly special. The duels and card game are fun, but the real meat of it is the characters, the plots, and the bonds that form because of it all.

Thank you so much for giving me such a wondrous thing to explore, my friend. I hope someday I can tell you in person how deeply much YGO means to me. And in the meantime, I hope you can find happiness in learning how many people are still touched by YGO. It makes me very happy.

Current Mood: contemplative

I made good on my decision to collect Eevees. I now have seven, with another on the way. Of course, I'm only sticking with specific ones that really strike me and are in my price range, rather than being all "GIVE ME ALL THE EEVEE!!!!!111" But since I've been doing most of my shopping on Mercari now, I discovered their partnership with pay in 4 partner Zip, and that has really quite changed my life. I still have to be careful not to go overboard, and I'm sticking with only buying when I'm sure I can make the payments, but it is just so amazing and so liberating to be able to get a little more than I could before. I never could have got all of these darlings without Zip. I've bought four that way and am eyeing a couple more for later consideration.

The first thing that excited me was, I believe, an Eevee sitting like a person. Precious! Then I discovered that the Eevee from Alola arc, Sandy, got a plush! I was over the moon. Before I'd sorted out which one to get first, my heart was stolen by a precious angel laying down and looking up with the sweetest "Take me home" expression. And then my heart was broken and crushed when she was bought before I could get her. (It was Sunday and I didn't want to make a frivolous purchase on a Sunday. Had I known then she's fairly rare, I think I might have made an exception.)

Honestly, usually I can just shrug it off if I don't get a particular item, even if I don't get another chance. But for some reason, I could not shake this one off. I was devastated. I refused to give up and kept scouring the Internet for another one. I found one on eBay, but she was more than I felt I could pay. I was just about to give in anyway when I tried one more thing, searching using Google Shopping. Wonderful Google actually came through and I found one on Mercari that had not come up on my searches of Mercari, WTH. She was still a little more than the one I'd lost, but I wasn't going to lose her again. The seller sent me an offer, bringing the price down a little more, and she came home to me!

I'd already bought Sandy the day before I found her, and they both showed up on the same day. LOL. It was awesome.

After that I had some debating over getting a Halloween Barbie and Ken doll set I've wanted since last year, but I decided I wanted the sitting up Eevee first. Much rarer than the dolls. He feels like he's minky! So incredibly soft!

Pokemon Center made two Easter Eevees. They're very rare and very sought-after. I especially love the lop-eared one, but both are adorable. An incredible deal appeared on the other one and I snapped her up.

Lastly, I've also been following a winking Eevee. An amazing deal for one happened on eBay and I got her.

Other ones I'm eyeing for the future: the other Easter one, a 2 foot one I fell in love with at GameStop and thought I'd never be able to have but could with Zip, Chloe's Eevee, and one raising a paw like a wave. (Not the one imitating Wobbuffet, but a much more squeeable one.) Oh, and Gigantimax Eevee. Maybe also the Christmas Eevee at Pokemon Center.

I'm planning to make a video of Radley showing all the Eevees and discussing them after I get the winking one.

I started writing another version of my Night After storyline for 5Ds because I wanted to write a fic inspired by a heartbreaking scene of Radley being attacked and beaten unfairly that we did in a Western AU RP. I couldn't think of any way to work the scene into a fic until I thought of some of his former Duelists attacking him in the mine. So, yes, another Night After. This one has become a three-part behemoth instead of my usual oneshot treatments of the storyline. I keep adding more and more, thinking of new angles to explore with the characters. I'm voicetesting Crow a lot in part 2. I love him, but I don't use him much, and it's enjoyable writing him trying to comfort and counsel Yusei in this one. This fic gets more into Yusei's thoughts than any other version I've done. I've also noticed that with each version, as I test Kalin caring more and more in each succeeding one, he falls apart more and more. But this seems to fit with canon and how he cannot deal with losing those he loves. The original scene that inspired all of this, the beating, was in itself inspired by the movie Rigoletto. I don't know why I wanted to do it, because that scene leaves an extremely bitter taste in my mouth in the movie. It horrified me. I also hate that the people never find out the guy was miraculously/magically restored to life, so they'll go all through their lives knowing they hatefully beat a man to death when he didn't deserve it and never knowing that he did get a happy ending. I fix that in my version.

I mostly stay logged in to my RP account constantly these days. I hardly ever post here, so it seems logical to stay logged in with the other account the most. I wish there was a YGO-based group RP on Dreamwidth. There's hardly any on Dreamwidth for kids' franchises at all. I think the one I'm in is the only one around that's really active. I love it and it's adorable, but I would like to play in more RPs too. I can never get enough.

I really want to RP tonight. But Discord and Dreamwidth are both so quiet. Sigh. I'm eager to continue one adorable Kalin and Radley-centric one on Discord especially.

Current Mood: okay

Got into

victory_road as Radley. It's a very cute game set in the Pokemon verse! That caused a plunnie explosion and I decided to further explore my past concept of both shows in the same verse. I just put up chapter 1 of a fic.

Very annoyed at Nintendo taking away eShop access for portable devices next year. I bought a couple of games, including Pokemon Crystal. It's very nice, very liberating, even, to finally play a Pokemon game! I'm breeding Eevees. They're so cute! I have three so far, all male. (I have to use a Ditto mommy.) I'm hoping I can get a female eventually too. I've always loved them, but I got obsessed with them after having Radley get one as a starter. I chose Eevee because the Espeon evolution looks like Ruby Carbuncle, one of Radley's cards.

I'm watching some of Pokemon Master Journeys to see Chloe's Eevee. There have been others on the show, of course, but I'm not sure any others have gotten an actual arc about them! I hope she will end up deciding not to evolve. I love the evolved forms, but I also love the original form. The way the story arc is set up, I kind of suspect that she will not ever evolve even if eventually she gains the ability to do so. I would like to see another Pokemon like Pikachu who doesn't even really want to evolve because she's happy with herself.

I decided that when Team Rocket only appears to do villainous things and we don't see character development for them, I prefer them not being there. I enjoyed a couple of Master Journeys episodes without them just fine. Although that could be because I'm so intently involved in the Chloe arc. I still love the episodes where we see better sides of them, although I am pretty confused by their twisted morals. So they get upset at the thought of taking away people's special memories in that amnesia scheme from Alola, but they think it's okay to steal people's Pokemon so all they're left with all their memories?! I kind of think and hope that if they actually did succeed in taking someone's special Pokemon for a while and then saw them all sad and heartbroken, they would feel so guilty they'd bring the Pokemon back. When we see their good sides, it kind of seems like that's something that could be the case. Maybe I'll write such a fic sometime.

Still driving, and have actually been on the freeway repeatedly! That is really huge for me. I bought a Glaceon plush at GameStop yesterday. I also got an Espeon from Mercari. It's an interesting online shopping place. I think the sellers there seem more often like fans able to identify official plushies from bootlegs. There are lots of bootlegs that have crept onto Amazon, and maybe eBay too.

Current Mood: excited

Haven't felt like writing for months. There's been a lot of upsetting things happening in real-life and online both, and I've preferred discussing both good and bad things in private with friends.

I had a lot of fun buying my own presents in October, at least, including elements of my Radley costume. I am very happy with it. I like to dress as him and record various songs trying to sing as him, which is interesting. It's hard to sing with anything resembling a male voice, but it helps that his dub voice isn't terribly low and my normal speaking voice isn't terribly high. I haven't done it for a while, but there are other songs I want to try.

Also bought most of my own Christmas presents aside from stuff friends sent. Dad wrapped some of them so I'd have more to unwrap. It was a very nice Christmas. I got Disney dolls of Raya, Sisu (I love the movie, mostly!), Ariel (also finally saw that and love it too), and Frozen 2 Elsa. I still don't like the ending of the movie, but I do love her final attire. I also got some fun plushies on QVC, and I used a birthday gift card to buy an adorable Christmas tree plush from Build-a-Bear. His name is Bob, because really, what else are you going to name a happy little tree?

I got a huge basket of yummy goodies from one sister and some nice things like a diffuser from another. I love the concept of it, although I don't much like the scent of lavender. It comes with lavender scent to put in it. I want to see if I can find other scents too.

Azalea542 sent a cool musical Frozen watch and a Boba Fett pin. Ladyamberjo and Lisa sent lovely gift cards and I had some fun Amazon spending sprees. I have most of the 5Ds manga now, except for #1, which has decided to be elusive new. Aurgh. Aside from preferring new in general, I especially want new here to be sure I get the card that comes with it. I also got some DVDs.

MoonlightTyger sent a wonderful cap and a Boba Fett plush (so soft!), and Tales of the Abyss! I'm very relieved it plays on my 2DS. I've played up to where Natalia joins the party so far. It is a very fun game aside from the boss battle against Arietta. Such a relief to finally conquer that! It's always interesting when a property has a sheltered character like Luke. While I can't fully relate to Luke's specific situation, I was quite sheltered most of my childhood. I was very sick for some years and there was also a lot of unfair prejudice going around about our family which caused a lot of backlash on me. Some of the neighborhood kids weren't allowed to associate much with me and the ones that were allowed didn't get to play as much as I wanted. So I mostly played with Mom through those years. It wasn't until I was becoming a teen that I started really having in-depth friendships with people where we'd talk a lot and have conflicts and the like. So I wasn't always good at associating with people, although I tried to learn quickly and even fake it sometimes. Of course, I still mess up and I'm also such a weird person that a lot of people get turned off by my different interests in characters and topics. Some things never do change. People can be very cruel and unkind when someone goes against the norm, whatever the norm happens to be. Anyway, point being, I like when there are sheltered characters in things.

The Book of Boba Fett makes me very happy. Disney is continuing to fulfill my 30 year old dream. I far prefer their Boba to the often cold and ruthless portrayals from some of the old 1990s books. I never wanted to see him that way. Since canon (and by canon I only mean the movies, as the books were never absolute canon to me) was so vague about him, I felt like people could see him as anything they wanted and it wouldn't go against canon. While I don't agree with Disney on a lot of their decisions, I am so thrilled with how they're handling Boba. I hope the TV series will end satisfyingly. I kind of suspect it will, though, and how it will end.

Just finished a fic today and am planning for the next one. I set up for it at the end of this one.

I'm still getting commissions. I'm waiting on one now. It's impossible for me to resist a good deal on beautiful art of characters I love, especially when it's being made especially for me!

I'm also finally advancing on my doll project. I can't remember if I discussed getting one for Radley's friend Scotch. I also just got one to be the one I call Biff. I'm looking into some more right now. I love the My Scene dolls. They're taller than the ones I have for Radley and Kalin, but the heads align, which is the main thing I'm concerned about. I'll probably end up having all of the boy My Scene dolls before the project is through, and multiples of characters with vastly different hair in releases, like River, who can hence play two or three Bunch members.

I have three Kalin and Radley doujinshis. I love them very much. There are others out there, but I haven't got my hands on physical copies yet.

I've been making a lot of home-cooked meals lately, as with my various problems with food this past year I've needed to do my own versions of them. I've made lots of waffles and enjoy it quite a bit. I also discovered I can make chili. Yum. And while most fake cheese just doesn't cut it, I do like the kinds that Morningstar and Daiya use in their meals. Daiya makes it with garbanzo beans! They've started selling it separately and I've been making pizzas with it.

I'm driving again, which is extremely momentous for me. Unlike before, I'm actually enjoying it and not crippled by fear. I honestly believe God has always used YGO to improve my life. YGO Classic caused me to learn how to write and draw far better and make many friends, some of whom are still friends. Because of my love of Radley in 5Ds, I started wanting to ride a motorcycle. But you have to have a regular driver's license first. So I finally felt ready to try again after the traumatizing experience I had years ago. I got my learner's permit and have been driving since October. I will be trying for the full license soon. I prayed and prayed for years on help conquering my fear of driving and nothing worked until Radley came along. Thank You, God.

Current Mood: okay

What everyone wants to have happen: the HVAC unit dying in the middle of a heat wave. It got up to 92 degrees in the house and was so horrible it was hard to breathe, even with a fan. Dad actually consented to a repairman, but the guy insisted on $877! That was out of the question. The normal going price is between $100-$200, I believe. Dad was disgusted and fed-up and insisted on doing it himself. There were many setbacks and problems, such as an idiot sending the completely wrong motor after Dad specifically went over the specs with him several times! After a week of hellish temperatures, off-set a bit by fans and a cute portable AC, Dad and my brother finally fixed it! HALLELUJAH. And now we know more about electricity and how HVAC motors work. And the sounds they make when they don't. There's a video on YouTube where a guy demonstrates the sound we'd been hearing, and the video opens with a shot of a bad motor sitting there making the sound, and for some reason that amuses me so much. I'm not sure why. Maybe it just seems funny to see it highlighted like that. But yes, that was a nightmare week.

I've been trying Discord because I wanted so much to find a nest of YGO fans. There have been many ups and downs. But I got closer to a silent fic reader friend I've casually known for a while and we have an RP going, and I have a couple of other steady RPs going, so that's all really nice. I still just love RPs.

Fic writing and art-making go on. I also dabbled in fanmixes and have two for Kalin and Radley on YouTube. I just *love* that so many artists are putting their songs officially on YouTube! All but I think two of the songs on the mixes are officially up on the artists' channels. I have pages on my YGO website to discuss the song choices in detail. For some reason, the YouTube descriptions won't load on mobile devices well, plus there's a character limit, which I hit for the second mix.

I've been having so much fun finding new music for the mixes when I need specific topical songs. Occasionally it's frustrating when I can't find something that fits, like a song where someone is annoyed by someone who isn't a jerk ex but doesn't want to kill the annoying person (seriously, why are there so many extreme songs where someone wants to kill the annoying person? WTH. Yeah, yeah, I know it's because there are many people who feel like that even if they wouldn't really do it, but it's frustrating when you're looking for something not as extreme), but in the end I've found things that work! Yes, I finally found a song about being annoyed with someone that was exactly what I wanted, so close that it felt like it was written for the specific situation of Kalin suffering from depression and self-hatred in Crash Town and repeatedly rejecting Radley because of feeling he's not sincere! (I Don't Even Care About You by Missio.) That was an amazing moment.

My icon is also related to my fanmix projects. I realized Evanescence's My Heart is Broken is perfect for the scenario in my fics where Radley is forced to sacrifice himself to save the others and Kalin can't deal with it. I'd forgotten that red text washes out once icons are saved; it was much brighter in my program.

I am obsessed with the band Red. I stumbled on a song of theirs called Hymn for the Missing by accident, was intrigued, and finally looked up lots of their stuff on Friday. IT IS INCREDIBLE. Squee songs and hurt/comfort songs and angsty songs and now I have seven of their songs on my second mix because THEY'RE SO PERFECT. I even found songs that could fit for amnesia situations! (Probably not what they were intended to be, but that's half the fun when a song can be interpreted multiple ways!)

I'm also customizing dolls. I wanted Kalin and Radley dolls (so I could stroke Radley's pretty hair, lol). It's not easy finding boy dolls with rooted hair, but Jay from Descendants is perfect for Radley with a little paint to lighten his skin tone to Radley's. Their proportions are so odd, though, that then to match up with him, my only choice for Kalin was a rooted hair Carlos. The post office has been aggravatingly slow about delivering him, but he should be here tomorrow. The hair is shorter than I'd wanted, but I'll work with it. I don't feel like rerooting or making a wig. I'm nervous how the hair dyeing will go, but hopefully it will work out. I have clothes all sewn for him and some Ken shoes that will hopefully fit.

Current Mood: cheerful

So I found this totally dead Livejournal group for 5Ds fics. They have a table. Think I can do 'em all?

001.	Forever	002.	Clear	003.	Dusk	004.	Once More	005.	Distrust
006.	Lonely	007.	Morals and Values	008.	Giving up	009.	Shock	010.	Soft
011.	Hurricane's Eye	012.	Meek	013.	Rest	014.	If Only	015.	In Between
016.	Reflection	017.	Medicine	018.	Out of Time	019.	Discrimination	020.	Doorknob
021.	Bonds	022.	Don't Worry	023.	Freak	024.	Non Verbal Communication	025.	Present
026.	Lost	027.	Sight	028.	Barrier	029.	Nude	030.	Surface
031.	Travel	032.	Reach for the Stars	033.	Childhood	034.	Oppose	035.	Sacred
036.	Force	037.	Barely There	038.	Weather	039.	Propose	040.	That One Lie
041.	Friends	042.	Virus	043.	Ice Cold	044.	Birthday	045.	Downtime
046.	Twisted	047.	Experiences	048.	Learning	049.	Break	050.	Cut
051.	Scar	052.	Fading	053.	Small Talk	054.	Poignant	055.	Shreds
056.	One Dream	057.	Comfort	058.	Blanket	059.	Keepsake	060.	Change of Heart
061.	Unusual	062.	Fight	063.	Sunrise	064.	Passing Through	065.	Hand
066.	Betray	067.	Shatter	068.	Taken in Stride	069.	Uniform	070.	Supernatural
071.	Innocent	072.	Pet	073.	Cling	074.	Fire	075.	Doesn't Matter
076.	Believe in You	077.	Nightmare	078.	Cold Ground	079.	Last Second	080.	Clumsy
081.	Blood Spilled	082.	Innocence	083.	Follower	084.	Drug	085.	Don't Stop
086.	Fool	087.	Afternoon Meal	088.	Build	089.	End	090.	Simple
091.	Code of Honor	092.	Connect	093.	Rebirth	094.	Never	095.	How Far We've Come
096.	Writer's Choice - Hair	097.	Writer's Choice - Romance	098.	Writer's Choice	099.	Writer's Choice	100.	Writer's Choice

Current Mood: curious

The Japanese fans love Radley and fanart definitely exists! Squeeee. I found a bit on a site called Zerochan, and it said it came from Pixiv. So I went there and have been turning up a ton! There's some tagged under his Japanese version name Ramon, and much more tagged improperly and viewable under Kalin's tag or even random pairing tags! People will post picture sets and sometimes include one or two of him. I am just utterly delighted!

The downside is ... I must have more, lol. Now that I know it exists, I am desperate to keep finding it! It's just so delightful to see other fans drawing him too. A lot of art is him solo, but there's a lot of him with Kalin too. Some artists make doujinshis about them. They're shounen-ai 99% of the time, but most of what I've found for them is so cute and could really look friendshippy too. A friend is translating one now showing little vignettes of how they grew close over time after Crash Town. I am just loving it! I knew I couldn't be the only one who found their relationship intriguing to explore.

I just don't understand why the American fans seem to show no interest in making fanworks involving him. I've seen that there is certainly interest in the character; people like what I'm doing with him and agree that canon underused him. I would love if I could kick off a revolution of fans interested in writing and drawing about him. Probably won't happen, especially so long after the series originally aired, but it's a nice dream anyway.

I keep thinking there must be fanfics of him somewhere, maybe improperly tagged since I can't get FF.net to add the Crash Town characters to the filter. I'm going to try exploring that idea soon. I did find one fic where he played a bit part.

Over the Nexus is going well. I beat it and I'm loving just wandering around and dueling Radley when I want. Fics are also going well; I'm just wrapping up a very involved and intense one with flashbacks of how Crash Town got the way it is during the canon arc, or more specifically, Radley's backstory and what happened to him and the Bunch in Crash Town. It also includes a present-day story with Kalin trying to get through to a comatose Radley after he was tortured in the mines. I have a oneshot and another multi-chapter waiting in the wings for after that. The multi-chapter will be a nice supernatural mystery and have some crossover elements with YGO Classic. I may also write an AU fic of "What would have happened if Yusei and Kalin had taken Radley with them when they left the mines." Normally I don't like writing AU, but I keep wanting to explore this concept. I wrote up an outline for it on dA and still want to write the actual fic.

Current Mood: overjoyed!

So I finally saw the Japanese version of what Lawton did to Radley.

MY HEART.

I definitely understand why the dub cut it; it was extremely painful to watch, especially when I'm so nuts about him. And it probably would have been upsetting to kids and got parents upset. First you really see Radley hit in the head with Lawton's gun, instead of it being implied in the dub with the impact not actually shown. And that's just for starters. It actually showed Lawton's Gatling Ogre blasting Radley over and over with 40 rounds of effect damage ammo, one for each 100 lifepoints. He was clearly in pain and screaming; there is something weird going on in that town! When it finished, he said, "That was dirty; how could I have stopped that?!" and collapsed unconscious. Not showing the physical assault in the dub made his collapse look cheesy. Also, I loved that Radley called Lawton out on the unfair one-turn kill in the original.

I promptly cuddled the plush, lol.

I know it's weird to be so disturbed by the scene considering all the hurt/comfort scenarios I put characters through, including Radley, but it's worse actually seeing it. Plus, some scenarios can definitely be more upsetting than others. I would definitely be hurting the same way to see my fic scenario of Radley shocked to death by Malcolm's shock collar brought to animated life, though. (Yes, he comes back from that.)

Since Radley is technically part of the problem in Crash Town, I do struggle a bit with liking him/feeling like he isn't as bad as Malcolm and Lawton/etc. But canon clearly presents compelling evidence in favor of him: he and his group are not actively terrorizing the town like Malcolm's Crew is, we never see their part of the mine, so it's possible they don't even abuse their labor, Radley seems friendly and even tried to reach out to Kalin but was brushed off, he treats his gang like equals and doesn't talk to them like their boss, his gang all seems very nice the few times they say anything, they hang out at a diner in the Japanese and I need to change references to a saloon in my fics.... They just seem like nice young kids caught up in a big mess.

I've been working on a lot of oneshots and a multichapter cross with YGO Classic. Things are mostly going well. The plunnie explosion has been an immense help over the past month; real-life has been dealing a series of blows that I long to escape. I've also drawn some stuff and requested more amazing pictures from ElfBean.

I did finally watch more of seasons 3 and 4 of 5Ds and found a lot I liked, especially Bruno/Antinomy. I've also watched some of 5. I don't like the Japanese ending for the series. Everyone going their separate ways and Yusei being left all alone ... that isn't satisfying at all. It felt contrived and unnecessary, just yet another addition to the current line-up of things that want to show people can still be close friends even when apart. It's a good lesson, but I'm sick of encountering it everywhere. Just let the friends stay together in fiction, for Pete's sake. Is that really going to hurt anything? I bring everyone back together in my fics. I think the dub ending is much more satisfying, even though it eliminates the Ark Cradle arc and tries to have the WRGP tournament as the finale. But I acknowledge season 5 in my fics because I wanted to revive Bruno. He's an adorably precious character and his bond with Yusei is probably my favorite Yusei friendship in the series.

I have the DVD set of the dub 3 and 4. Had to get that set first to have the Crash Town episodes, heee. And I often look up scenes on Crunchyroll to see how they went in the original. I'll be getting the other DVD set soon.

I also finally got the Over the Nexus game. I thought I wouldn't have trouble getting a spin-off game, but wow, was there trouble. It's apparently the most sought-after of the 5Ds games, I suppose because a lot of it takes place in Crash Town and that is a fan-favorite arc. I could have tried to find a ROM, but after the trouble I had with the Nightmare Troubadour ROM I really just wanted a physical copy of the game. I kept following auctions and losing out. The price would always go sky-high. I finally accepted that I wasn't going to be able to get it for less than probably $40 something, so after losing both an auction and a Buy It Now listing in the same day, I sought out someone who was selling a copy apparently more expensive than people wanted to buy and made my highest offer on it. I thought it would probably be too low to be accepted considering the Buy It Now price, but it was accepted, squeee. I was able to pay for some of it with eBay gift cards. It's shipped now and should be here this week. I charged my 2DS to be ready for it. If it's anything like Nightmare Troubadour, it will take a while for the plot to really get underway and I'll have to duel OCs and minor characters for a while. But I'll get to see a lot of Crash Town and Nico and West, so that will be fun. I don't think Radley shows up until around chapter 5. There are 7 chapters. After I beat the main game, I can challenge Radley any time I want, like with the Big Five in Nightmare Troubadour. I do wish the game wouldn't have screwed up his personality, but I'll try to ignore that. Nightmare Troubadour did very well with the Big Five; I'm still giggling over Nesbitt's insult of "You look about as threatening as a water pistol." **snerk.** I have got to use that in a fic. Also, Over the Nexus has a much-needed gender function when picking your OC! Nightmare Troubadour did not have that and my character kept getting called "he" in the script. I wonder which YGO game first acknowledged that girls like it too. Most of the YGO fans I've ever known are female, honestly. Although I have met some guy fans too.

Duel Links has been really fun this month, and the topper is that I think we're finally getting Duke! Ohmygoshsqueee! A new character is coming with the catchphrase "Go Dice Roll!" I'm unaware of any spin-off characters who like dice. If it's not Duke, it will be too cruel!

Current Mood: bouncy

... I have just got to see someone make an AMV of Leroy Brown with clips from Lawton in the 5Ds Crash Town arc. I have seriously got the giggles over this. It fits so well. He is such a nasty guy. The chorus could have clips of him doing things like hitting Radley in the head with a gun, unfairly beating him in a one-turn kill, trying to kill Kalin and Yusei, kidnapping the kids, blowing up the town, etc. For the line about the Continental they can show that weird contraption he rode in on. And then of course there really is the love triangle situation with him, his brother, and Barbara. The only difference is that Malcolm would never be able to best Lawton in a fight, I'm sure. But eh, the AMV would all be in fun anyway.

I might try making this myself when I get the DVDs. Problem is, I've never made a clip show AMV and have only made slideshows. I think it would look better as a clip show. But maybe a slideshow wouldn't be too terrible. Or maybe I could learn to do clips.

I also have AMV ideas to use All About Us with the Big Five, mainly to celebrate how they never betray each other, unlike so many villain groups in media. In the original Japanese, I discovered last week, Nesbitt doesn't even have that moment of weakness where he tries to abandon the others. Why didn't Yu-Jyo.net say that?! I wish I'd watched the Japanese of those episodes long ago. I would have, probably, if Crunchyroll hadn't quit working. It finally worked again when I downloaded it on my DigiLand tablet.

My other AMV idea is Playing With the Big Boys Now with Lumis, Umbra, and the other Rare Hunters. I started taking pictures for that one but haven't finished yet.

Also, I have a huge crush on Radley. My plunnie explosion all involves him and I've drawn him too. ( http://meromeroyui.deviantart.com ) Thus continues the tradition that I must crush on characters everyone ignores. And I guess I have Bruno to thank for this, because if I hadn't been trying to write a fic to revive him, I wouldn't have written opening paragraphs describing Crash Town and what Radley was up to. It was from that that I decided I had to write the story I was describing and not regulate it to a few paragraphs in another story. Once I really started paying attention to Radley in canon, I saw he really is interesting. He isn't mean like Malcolm or Lawton and he seems to be on very friendly and even equal terms with his gang, judging from the saloon scene. We never actually see how his men treat the mine workers. I wouldn't be surprised if they're treated decently, unlike Malcolm's. The only time Radley is shown maybe being nasty is when Barbara tells Yusei about the town, and honestly, Barbara isn't the most reliable narrator. She lied to Yusei, she even lied to Malcolm. If she could cast Radley in a worse light than he deserved, she would totally do it. Radley did snap and shake Kalin when they were sent to the mine, but it seemed like a very human reaction under the circumstances. People do snap and say and do things that they wouldn't say and do normally.

The Over the Nexus game lets Nico and West's father live after his fall, but it doesn't do justice to Radley. He's portrayed as a generic punk with none of his anime personality. Aurgh! But at least we get to see his deck; he plays Crystal Beasts. It's hard to get used to someone other than Jesse using them, lol. The game takes place a lot in Crash Town and I'm debating if I'd like to get it. It's for the DS, so I could play it.

Yes, I have become a fan of 5Ds. Hate what happened to Domino and always will, and Turbo Dueling will always be WTH, but I love the characters and their adventures so much. The characters are as special to me as the classic YGO characters. Hence why a portal opened so they can keep visiting in the fics, lol.

Current Mood: giggly

... It still doesn't change that there are many years to go before seeing a loved one again after they're gone. And it doesn't change how hard that is.

I've lost a friend of 21 years to cancer. I was afraid he was gone when he disappeared from the Internet a month ago, either gone or getting worse and not feeling up to being online. My worst fears were confirmed when I finally got a notification for a post his sister made yesterday. He died on the 16th.

I'm so glad I have the memories and special treasures of 21 years of friendship. But I still didn't want to say Goodbye, and he had wanted to live and kept hoping he would recover.

It feels so surreal to write any of this.

Our last conversation was so ... well, not like a Goodbye. I didn't get to really say Goodbye, or other things I would have liked to say. I think we just talked about The Clone Wars. Maybe that was the way he would have wanted it; maybe he didn't know how to say Goodbye. Not that I know either. He probably didn't know it would be our last conversation, though.

I've had the song Rock and Roll Heaven stuck in my head today. (It's a long story.) It feels sadly and oddly appropriate, not just for the chorus lines of life going on, but because he loved music so much and all the artists.

I've had a lot of writer's block, or writer's molasses lately (stories coming, but veeerrry slowwwwly), and it finally shattered on Sunday morning with a plunnie explosion. I wonder if that's not a coincidence and I was blessed to finally have more ideas because I would badly need that now. I am very grateful to have stories to put my attention to so I don't have to stay constantly in this reality.

Current Mood: crushed

I've seen almost all of The Clone Wars, a good portion of Rebels, and am obsessed with Ahsoka like almost everyone else. The way she developed so naturally all along is just incredible writing and acting. I desperately want a Black Series figure of her, and the Forces of Destiny doll, and so does everyone else! The online sellers are capitalizing on that and overcharging like whoa. I'm still waiting for Walmart to get her and The Mandalorian in; I don't want to pay those overblown prices online. But it's so utterly maddening. A friend did find the Mission Fleet Ahsoka for me, and I just love her. I want to get other characters in that line, as they have The Clone Wars-styled Anakin and Obi-Wan and clone troopers. I think The Clone Wars is the only time aside from episode 1 that I've actually liked Anakin. But I still got mad at him last night and didn't end up buying the Mission Fleet figure of him yet.

I also want all the DVDs of The Clone Wars, which is proving almost as impossible as acquiring the Ahsoka and Mandalorian figures. The auctions always go too high. There's a seller with some Buy It Now sets of everything, but charging more than I hoped to pay. Still, it's a good price for that much content and I'm tempted to get one, if he still has any left. If I did, though, I probably wouldn't have any money to spare for figures.

I also love all the Rebels characters and want Hera, Kanan, and Ezra figures especially. Sabine too, but I like her season 2 hair the best and the figure has her season 1 hair, so I might just get the Forces of Destiny doll of her for now. I love that she changes her hair color every season. LOL. I'm just blown away by how wonderful all the Star Wars OCs in these TV series are. I watch them for one episode and immediately want to know more about them. I consider all of them as meaningful and special of characters as Luke, Leia, and Han by now.

Amazon offered another Prime trial already, to my surprise. I took it and bought the Ahsoka book, which was just re-released as a paperback. I also bought a bunch of Clone Wars-era Star Wars books a couple of weeks ago, and I finally finished a Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan book I'd started a while back. I haven't been so excited about Star Wars in a while and it feels great. And it finally rekindled my love of reading enough that I actively try to find time for it more often now.

I think if I still don't see the figures at Walmart tomorrow, I'll either buy a Rebels figure online, a book about Kanan and Hera, or make an offer to that seller for the Mission Fleet Anakin figure. Or pick more than one of those options. Amazon is offering a $5 credit for the next video I watch from them, so I'll want to secure that before making another Amazon purchase, probably.

I finally saw some of the next season of 5Ds. As I had thought, most of it is fillery. I'm not sure I'll watch much of it, nor am I sure I want the DVDs that much now. I do want the first set, though, because of the amazing Dark Signer arc, and I still want to own Kalin's redemption arc, which is on the second set. I don't feel like buying the whole set mainly for seven episodes, though, at least not until I can find some more of these Star Wars things I want. But season 4 doesn't wow me either, as it's apparently entirely a tournament in an arena. I don't know if there are any Shadow Game type duels, although there is a dangerous villain.

I just finished my fic using Miho/Melody. I still haven't been able to give Christmas up and the fic was set at Christmastime. It ended up getting very dark with an old enemy of Duke's trying to possess Tristan to kill Duke with another Eon Item. Tristan resists, but the spirit manages to harm Duke without using Tristan's body. Tristan has to finally open his heart to forgiving Duke about the Serenity situation in order to reverse the damage and save Duke's life. I struggled for a long time about letting the fic get that dark, but finally accepted that was what the story needed.

I'm not sure what I'm going to write next. I finally figured out what that first Duke and Snakes oneshot needed to be finished at long last (I must have written that eight years ago or so!) and I posted that to AO3. I might post the others in that series there too, but I'm not sure, as someone there thinks Snakes is an artificial being, which he isn't, and I address the subject in the second oneshot and I'm not sure how well that would go over if they read that. I have a fic idea involving Kalin and Crash Town, so I might try starting that, but I'd like to have something for classic YGO too. I got out a strange thing I started where Ahsoka ends up on Earth after Order 66 and meets the Big Five. Lol. It gets stranger, as they're all Star Wars fans and know who she is, and she's pretty weirded out that her life is considered part of a fictional franchise on this new planet. I don't know that I'll really post it anywhere, as some Star Wars fans can get pretty intense about details and canons, I think, and I might get a bunch of people bent out of shape for having a Star Wars character visiting Earth. But I actually really like the piece; it's not treated as a comedy, and the Big Five are trying to help her as she struggles to be strong and deal with the horror she just came from. If I finish it and like it enough, I'll probably try posting it.

I'm also watching WandaVision. As long as I still have Disney+ for the moment, I figured, Eh, why not, especially since I love classic TV. The trailer broke my brain when they made that, but after understanding better about the series and the characters in it, I've been watching the series without batting much of an eye at the weirdness. I really worry that it won't end happily, though, especially given Vision's fate in the movies and Wanda's reality-altering powers in the comics to deal with traumatic things. I may keep Disney+ until the price hike in March, which would give me just enough time to see all the episodes.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: My Gift---Carrie Underwood

Five-year-old me looking through the 3.75" Star Wars figures my brother let me have: ... Who's this?

Mom: Let's look at the back of the card that shows all the figures.... It looks like his name is Boba Fett.

Me: Who's that?

Mom: I think he's a bounty hunter. Let's watch Star Wars and see.

And history is made. I came, I saw, I got permanently obsessed and nothing could deter me from it.

Eeeee, I finally got the 12 inch electronic Boba Fett! A new listing popped up, I Watched it, the seller sent me an offer for $5 off, and I accepted and got him! He came in time for Christmas and it's been torture waiting to open the box, heh. Mom wanted to use some of her money to help get me something, and I chose that, so since it was partially a Christmas present I wanted to wait to open it until now. It's amazing to finally have him! I hope my 18 inch one won't get jealous, heh. They didn't make many figures in the 18 inch line and I wanted one to align with my other 12 inch figures. The clothes are all cloth and the armor is sewn onto them. There are real pockets! So amazing! Toys used to be so much higher quality than they often are now.

I got other awesome things for Christmas too. Friends sent a Build-a-Bear gift card (which, after some debating, I used to buy the Rey bear on a special sale price), the School of Rock DVD, an Irish ornament and Boba Fett socks (eee!), and a Loud House graphic novel. Mom and Dad had three suspense novels, a snowflake throw, What's New, Scooby-Doo? DVD set, the Rise of Skywalker soundtrack, Carrie Underwood's Christmas CD (I've never really been into her music, but Mom read an interview with her in Guideposts and thought she sounded very nice, so I took note of the CD and thought it looked great), and the Child plush! I have binged all the Mandalorian episodes and love the show and the Child like almost everyone else, heh. My sister sent a soup-making kit with four recipe mugs and my brother sent money! I will probably save it to buy a figure of The Mandalorian. A friend sent us cookies and our neighbors sent a Christmas throw and raspberry sticks! Yum!

I also won a $50 gift card in one of my discussion groups! I could use it for any of several places and I chose Target, as they had Cara Dune and the Child figures to buy. (The Mandalorian himself seems to be the hardest one to find.) I got them plus A Christmas Story, so I can finally see Darren in one of his most famous roles. LOL, I have a figure of him from that film and I've never seen the film (except for the mall scene, which always seemed to be playing when we caught the film on TV). Target delivered fast before, but this time they figure it will take a while.

I was having some problems writing my 5Ds cross, as Kalin's mental health was affecting my mental health (i.e., his self-hatred was triggering mine). I had to put him in the background and focus on the mystery to finish the fic. Now I had a nice, creepy dream about ghosts and am starting a new haunted house fic. I'm using Miho, but I'm calling her Melody as in the game she was in and I will make it clear that the Toei anime is not canon to the main anime verse.

I saw Soul tonight on Disney+ and aside from some unnecessary crude comments, I loved it! ( Very vague, mild spoilers? )

Current Mood: tired

Someone on YouTube is apparently familiar with me from years before and told me I'm a legend. They also used the goat emoticon, which I learned can be an acronym for "Greatest of All Time." That absolutely bowled me over. It's still so surreal and hard to believe that anyone could feel like that about me. It certainly gave me a much-needed emotional boost. I've been struggling a lot again lately with emotional stress and some bouts of self-hatred.

I finally got approved for Medicaid, thank God! I've been calling places to direct them to Medicaid for billing. I still have another I'll need to call on Monday. This is certainly an immense burden eased. It also looks like the hospital bill I racked up wasn't anywhere near $8,000 like we were told? But we still couldn't have afforded it.

I finished watching the first 64 episodes of YGO 5Ds, on YouTube. I don't normally tear through a show's episodes that quickly, but I was hooked and could hardly put it down. I decided I should watch the episodes before buying them, and they are officially available online. I probably will buy the DVD set, though, because Earthbound Immortals is so good and very rewatchable! I already want to see some of them again!

Most of it is good and rewatchable, anyway. For the life of me I don't understand why a wonderfully dark and serious arc was interrupted by Luna's extended trip to the Duel Monsters world. They could have done those episodes to better fit in with the tone of the arc, but instead it had to be ridiculous with stupid monkey lackeys of the villain, and the villain himself wasn't what I expected. Neither was the human villain in the real world, Devack. With all the other Dark Signers, we know who they are and what they're upset about. Then Devack comes along and we're never told anything about him and it's like "... Why do we care what happens to him?" It seems like a serious oversight when every other Dark Signer has a masterfully thought-out backstory. I do love the sibling squee in those episodes, but otherwise I feel like I went to kiddie land for four episodes. It's so out of place with the intensity of the arc. I was rather bored by that part in the Duel Links event version I encountered first, too. In the original YGO, weirdness like that would have only happened in virtual reality.

On the upside, I really love how this show handles emotions and emotional trauma. At first I did not like Akiza, but then they slowly developed her and brought out her horrible past in a way that finally by episode 40, everything made sense and she was one of the most realistic and complex characters! She also had a setback then when her beloved mentor seemed to have been killed. (And ugggh, her mentor is a real piece of work. Horrible guy. He ranks among the few characters in anything I absolutely detest.) I wonder a bit if the writers took inspiration from Mai in season 4 of classic YGO. Some things seemed a little similar, like how Akiza lashed out at Yusei when he was not to blame for anything that happened to her. They also do this emotional exploration with Yusei, having him shaken for a long time about Kalin turning against him, and with Kalin himself when he comes back to himself and realizes all the horrible things he did unjustly. They even do some pretty great development with Officer Trudge when he finally starts to see the good things about Satellite and then gets thrown into a position where he has to protect kids. He starts out just being a creep who uses his badge to bully people, but then he somehow ends up lovable. I love it, I love these characters, I just still hate what happens to Domino City!

I don't like that Yusei's Satellite friends disappear from the show for the most part now, until they appear again at the ending. It's like Yusei doesn't be with them anymore now that he's part of team 5Ds.

Crow is awesome. Something about him reminds me of Zack Fair from FF7, and that really comes out even more during the Earthbound Immortals finale.

It's really a shame the dub didn't do all the episodes. I haven't decided yet what I'll do with the next arc, which is, I think, mostly filler. I probably will watch Kalin's redemption arc again. It has some kind of silly things in it too, like the guns that unfold into Duel Disks. LOL. It's obvious Crash Town is a Western parody from start to finish. But whatever's silly in it still isn't anywhere as bad as those Duel Monster world episodes.

Crash Town must be pretty close to Domino City, since Sector Security apparently has law enforcement jurisdiction. They seem to be exclusively a Domino police force. It's probably like with the LAPD, where their jurisdiction extends to some of the nearby rural and mountain areas. It's nice to think Kalin must still be close by. Also, I think the dub improved on not having people die in the mines, because if they died, that prompts the disturbing question as to whether Kalin caused anyone to get sent there who ended up dying from the horrible conditions. I think Kalin has enough to feel horrible about without adding something like that! I also prefer the dub having the idolizing kids' dad live. I really hate having him die in the original, when the kids were trying so hard to save him. I think I'm going to headcanon that he lived in the original too. He fell, but I don't think we saw him hit bottom. Maybe he landed on an outcropping and was later rescued, injured but alive, as in the dub. Maybe after I finish the fic I'm doing, I'll write one where he's talking to Kalin while he recovers.

EDIT: Another thing I meant to add was that Crash Town has nothing supernatural in it. Hence, the deaths (in the Japanese) are real. I prefer not having that kind of reality in an anime that usually has supernatural problems. I really loved in Earthbound Immortals that even Greiger's village was able to be restored because it was destroyed by supernatural means and the people taken to power up the Earthbound Immortals. Anyone taken for that can be restored when the things are defeated. That's so much nicer than reality. I'm sick of reality, I'm sick of real deaths ... bring on the supernatural anime problems, please!

I did finally get the YGO fic rolling where Lector encounters Kalin. Eventually it decided to become my original cross idea of seeing whether a dimensional rift could have opened during Zero Reverse and swallowed the YGO classic characters I figured disappeared. I also decided that if Mokuba was lost, Seto closed himself off and didn't care anymore about anything, and he wasn't responsible for the totalitarian mess Domino became. The fic has been catching some attention, even a reviewer on AO3 (a rare thing for me), so that's certainly been nice. I hope any 5Ds fans reading won't be disappointed. I want to highlight what I like about both series, but I have to point out the strange things about 5Ds that don't make sense and try to make sense of them.

I also started making the Kalin plushie. I probably got his hair too long, but it's a lot longer in his redemption arc. I haven't been able to get black cloth to make his clothes yet. No one's ever at the fabric counter and when I ring for them they don't come. And of course, the one time someone was around, there was no black cloth left for them to cut for me! Aurgh!

I wrote prompts for every day for Whumptober and Comfortember, making a huge, connected fic about the Big Five being tortured by Yami Marik and trying to recover from it. I'm really pleased with it. I'm especially pleased I actually wrote for each day in Comfortember, as some of those prompts weren't plunnying me so much. But somehow it all came together.

I got another tablet since the Amazon one has been bothering my eyes so much and the DigiLand has been acting weird and also couldn't update Duel Links anymore. Walmart had an amazing deal on their Onn tablet for $28, so I snapped that up. It's been great.

Current Mood: okay

Last night I wanted to watch something new and ended up watching the live-action Dora movie. I thought it looked exciting and might give me plunnies. I didn't get any plunnies, and I have mixed feelings on the film. It was a basically great adventure, but I have to wonder who the target audience was. Was it kids who watched the cartoon and are adults now? There were jokes that were not appropriate for kids, like scorpions deciding to mate on a guy's head. And I'm not sure I've ever seen a movie so crude. (I know there's worse ones, but I haven't seen them.) There was a whole sequence about a girl needing to go to the bathroom in the jungle and Dora making up a song about it to try to comfort her. Okay, so that's a realistic problem that would definitely happen in such circumstances, but seriously?! Do we really need that kind of realism, especially in a kids' movie? Does any parent really want their kid walking around singing a song about digging a hole to go to the bathroom?

My other main problem is that it left things confusing as to what was real and what wasn't. It supposedly continues from the cartoon, but it acts like everything from it was in Dora's imagination. I hate that approach. It's like a slap in the face to all the kids who loved the cartoon, basically telling them that even within the verse of the show, it's not really real. It would be like Gabriella or some other human character on Sesame Street saying none of that's real and they were just daydreaming every episode. Okay, granted, if there were really talking maps and backpacks, the movie would have been extremely cheesy, but still. They also address Dora talking to the audience and have everyone confused about who she's talking to. That and some other things, like the bathroom song and Dora talking about a poisonous frog, make it seem like a parody of itself.

But then here's the confusing part: the fox character is suddenly revealed as real and is working for the villains. So if the fox is real, are the other things real or not? The movie acts like they're not, and yet the ambiguity is baffling. I know, it's not the kind of movie you can really take too seriously, and yet I can't not think about it.

And honestly, I've never even seen the cartoon, lol. But it sounds like from what I read about it that it doesn't take the approach that everything is only in Dora's imagination. I don't think I accept the movie as a continuation. They're separate verses to me.

Meanwhile, I cannot make myself start writing the scene I wanted to where Lector encounters Kalin Kessler having time and dimension traveled. I think it's because even though I've come to love the 5Ds characters, I just cannot reconcile what happened to their Domino City with the classic series. MoonlightTyger voiced one of my big problems: that there's no way many or any of the original cast are still around and alright. They wouldn't have just done nothing during the 5Ds era disasters. Seto must have lost his mind to create Turbo Duels and allow the totalitarian separation of New Domino City and Satellite. Seriously, you can't even face your opponents when Turbo Dueling. It just doesn't sound like something Seto would create at all. Why on Earth did they decide to set that series in Domino? If it was just somewhere else, there'd be no problem. I find myself repeatedly frustrated that I like the characters so much when there's this issue, because as a devoted classic YGO fan who doesn't want to see Domino City wasted, it is very difficult to deal with liking 5Ds!

Current Mood: exasperated

I finally got to do my birthday outing, but as I'd figured, I didn't find anything I wanted other than a plushie base, and a nice patriotic shirt when I exchanged a pair of pants. Target was sold out of everything I like to buy there! Aurgh! But I did decide, while looking at a small Disney Store Mickey Mouse that cost $23, that I was going to buy the 25 inch one on Amazon. I got him that night and he arrived two days later thanks to my Prime trial, which they offered to extend for another month. He is sooo soft, both the fur and the huggability. I love him! I keep him on the bed.

I also finally got Build-a-Bear's tuxedo cat to be Oreo. They understuffed her, as usual, and I don't know when I'll be able to fix it since I'm not comfortable going into the store with her right now and I don't trust myself to do it. But she's adorable! Definitely the most Oreo-looking plushie I've ever found.

For Halloween, I put down paper towel on our wall and then put spaced-out candy. We got more kids this year than we have in a while. Go figure. I guess with no trunk or treats, they go back to traditional methods.

I immediately felt like getting Christmassy the day after Halloween and I turned on the small trees. On Monday we got lights for the big tree, since some were about to burn out on it (and immediately did when I turned it on, oy). The new lights are gorgeous. Instead of the cheap brands we usually buy, these are GE. Love it!

I wrote the YGO fic with Nesbitt being tricked into accepting the Orichalcos. I'm just finishing it now. It didn't work to extend it very long due to his unique circumstances and also the fact that I rarely like writing duels, but I like how it came out. Very heartbreaking and very squeeful and I use a lot of my personal feelings and struggles with self-hatred in how I write for Nesbitt. At the end, the problem isn't gone, but he's starting to heal thanks to his friends.

I'm kind of obsessed with the 5Ds character Kalin Kessler. He is a pretty horrible person even before the dark force gets him, and then he completely turns his life around after he's freed. It feels very vindicating. People would tell me I was writing characters wrong if their personalities became different when they wanted to repent. Kalin is a canon example showing it happening. I think his redemption arc was very well-done. I play him a lot in Duel Links. I want to make a plushie of him, and I might use my current plushie base for that. I even sought out some nice, soft material I could use for his hair. I found the right color and everything. Problem is, I could only buy it in a set of a yard and a half for over $8. Oy! The things I do for my crafting projects....

(I also bought a talking Charmander. I wanted him for my birthday, but they sold out, and they just finally got a couple this past week. One disappeared right away and I decided I'd better buy the other instead of waiting to try asking for him for Christmas.)

I also actually want to buy 5Ds. I've seen enough of it to know that I want to see more, and I would prefer to just get the DVDs and watch it that way instead of streaming the episodes on my tablets. I still hate the setting of Domino in the future, but I just love the characters and that's what sells it for me.

Duel Links added Zexal. A lot of fans of it have wanted it, apparently. I honestly think it looks very childish compared to the first three YGO series (yes, even GX). The characters seem to be younger and their cards are out of this world ridiculous. Zubababancho Gagagacoat?! How can anyone take a name like that seriously?! **headdesk.** Maybe someday Duel Links will introduce a character or event that will interest me, like they finally did for both GX and 5Ds, but somehow I doubt I will ever be that intrigued overall. With GX, I love Jesse Anderson and will play as him sometimes, and I'll play as Tyranno only because David Wills voices him, but GX just doesn't enchant me overall. The setting of a duel school is still preposterous and I just can't seem to get invested in the adventures. They're either too slice-of-life, which I can't get behind when I'm not invested in the characters, or too dark. 5Ds, on the other hand, grabbed me with the Dark Signer arc and Carly Carmine, and then I got invested in all the characters and their adventures. Somehow, in spite of the setting of a ruined Domino City and the nonsense of Turbo Duels, it feels like a better follow-up to classic YGO, storyline-wise. (On the other hand, GX still uses familiar cards, which felt so good to see after watching 5Ds. But I was seriously underwhelmed by the GX Paradox Brothers episodes. Not epic like the classic series at all.)

Current Mood: tired

It has been extremely stressful almost from the time I last wrote anything here. I discovered the worst pain I have ever had in my life, which seems to have been caused by rupturing ovarian cysts, and I'm still trying to get my body back to normal. There's other cysts that may or may not be cancerous, although the doctor doesn't really think they are. He didn't even see the ultrasound pictures, though! He just read the hospital's report! We're waiting to see if the blasted things shrink on their own while I try some natural remedies and foods that are supposed to help. The doctor doesn't think food has anything to do with it, but I've found that my problems and the pain seem to pivot around foods. I've mostly felt a lot better and I discovered standing and walking are very helpful. I racked up a horrific bill just from the tests they did and I'm trying to qualify for Medicaid. I just thought everything was okay and now they seem to be demanding I redo all the information again?! WTH?! Aurgh! I tried to call them on Friday but couldn't get anyone and I'll have to try again tomorrow.

My birthday was peaceful, at least, but low-key. I still haven't had my outing. We were hoping to try for this coming week, but now we have a new house problem to deal with, as our bathroom light fixture decided to bork and now we have to light it with nightlights. We've been having so many house problems the last few months, mostly plumbing but also some electric issues. Our water pressure is horrendous. It's been wrecked ever since the city forced new pipes on everyone last year, and it's gotten worse for us in the last several months.

To compensate for no outing, I bought a lot of things online to have for my birthday. It was fun, but it doesn't take the place of physically visiting a store. It's the whole experience that's so fun, not just buying things. Although the irony is that I likely wouldn't be able to find much of anything I want in a physical store. It seems like what I want is either cheaper online or only available online.

Some other, more minor stressful things happened the past week, but because of my emotional state dealing with my health problems they tipped me over the edge. It's ironic and frustrating that I really try so hard to control myself online, but the few times I just can't take it anymore I get branded as some kind of horrible thing. Also ironic is that while they're thinking how awful I am, I'm emotionally tearing myself to pieces for weeks afterward because I said or did something that hurt someone. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and have for years. I've never been officially diagnosed, but reading up on the symptoms certainly matches my states of mind when I go into those ways and I fully believe I have an anxiety disorder. I would love to talk to a therapist, but we can't afford that either. And I certainly can't think about that when we're not sure the Medicaid went through. If I can really qualify for ongoing Medicaid and not just temporary, maybe then I can consider a therapist. I only really realized how badly I needed one two and a half years ago when I sank into a really bad depression and self-loathing state. A friend who is a therapist in another state really helped me a lot to be able to pull out of it. If only she lived here. I had a small-scale setback into such a state this past week because of those stressful things and what happened because of them. That friend plus other friends have been helping me pull out of it again and helping me see that I'm not the scum of the earth, which is how I was feeling.

I also lapsed into another frantic "Buy, buy, buy!" mode this past week, like I did in April when the lockdown started. Apparently that's going to be a thing with me now and I've developed full-blown retail therapy problems when under extreme stress. Although at least I'm not buying up everything under the sun; I still study things out for days to get what I really want. This round I wanted YGO things and I bought an official YGO coloring book and one of the Scholastic character guides, this one focusing on the villains. I wish I'd known about all these wonderful YGO things Scholastic put out at the time. I was looking and looking for things like that and could never find them. Apparently they did a whole line of character guides in 2006. I wonder why they waited until then. That was when the show ended!

I wrote all of the Whumptober prompts into a connected storyline and am posting them. I was delayed for several days when the worst of my physical pains were happening, but I've got back on track and am posting on the correct days again. I'm trying to do the Comfortember ones too, but they aren't plunnying me as much, so I'm not sure I'll do all of them. But I don't have any other story ideas other than expanding one of Nesbitt's hallucinations into a full fic really happening and taking place in another verse, so I want to keep trying. I love to write and feel like to not be able to is to lock part of my soul away.

The hallucination I want to expand is for Dartz to trick Nesbitt into using the Orichalcos. For some reason I've been wanting to write a storyline similar to Mai's season 4 arc. I don't know why, really, because that was gut-wrenching. But I finally figured out how to work it in a way I like. Nesbitt is feeling horrible because of his weakness in almost abandoning the others in Noa's world, so Dartz preys on that and tells him the Orichalcos will make him strong. In Nesbitt's state of mind, he believes that and thinks it will help him be a better friend, so he accepts it and then it corrupts him. He has no idea about soul-stealing or swallowing the world with a giant sea snake until after it corrupts him, which seemed to be the same with Mai in canon. In the dub, at least, Dartz most certainly doesn't tell her any of those things until she agrees to accept it. You can see in her face that the corruption is instantaneous. Very chilling.

As much as I love and adore Lector and have given him some of my personality traits in how I write for him, I really went to town with Nesbitt and base him on me even more. His insecurities, his struggles with his weaknesses, blurting things out he shouldn't and beating himself up over it, his asexuality, is all based on me. In the Japanese he doesn't seem to have some of his issues, like wanting to pretend he's a machine, so I deliberately write him based on the dub version because I find his manias so interesting and a writing goldmine. I do, however, use his Japanese backstory in how Seto treats him, which was even more appalling than in the dub. He tells Nesbitt not to get underfoot when the new engineer arrives, aurgh. So cruel when Nesbitt was the top engineer! (And semi-related, I read a short fic on Crump based on the Japanese version where Seto said something horrible to him when he brought the idea of a penguin sanctuary and theme park, something about crushing Crump like a soda can if he didn't drop the idea?! If that was really what he said in the Japanese, horrible! And of course, Seto learned all that kind of behavior from Gozaburo. So sickening how Gozaburo poisoned that once-innocent mind.) Honestly, aside from them letting Pegasus take Mokuba, I'm more on the Big Five's side than Seto's, up to the point where they first start messing with virtual reality. As horrible as Seto treated them, that wasn't justified. I wish the dub hadn't inserted a murder plot in season 1 that didn't exist. I can't even watch that episode in the original dub anymore because that sickens me so. I always watch it in the uncut dub instead. I'm glad that was one of the few episodes that made it into the uncut dub.

I'm still getting pictures from ElfBean. Her latest is from my fic where Lector is a vigilante and I just adore it so much!

I feel like drawing a picture of Lector laying on his bed in his dress shirt and pants and tie, looking up at the ceiling. Usually it's Nesbitt I depict without his suitcoat, but after an RP scene I feel like I really want to show Lector like that too, squeee. He would look amazing! (Of course, he always looks amazing, heh.)

I had a really awesome and fun dream the other day about playing a video game where the player is interacting with the Big Five. Their memories have been mysteriously wiped and the goal is to help them find something they're looking for and restore their memories. It would work great as a visual novel type game, and apparently there are sites where people can make games like that without years of programming lessons! I definitely want to try it out! I have the sprites from the Nightmare Troubadour game that would be perfect to use in it! They looked so amazing in that game!

This is the checklist of everything I've bought for my birthday and a bit afterwards:

- Set of the first four Anna & Elsa chapter books set after the first Frozen
- The most recent Frozen 5 Minute Stories collection, the red cover one
- Frozen Blu-Ray and DVD combo (if we ever get a Blu-Ray, I can see all the cool bonus content!)
- Star Wars Qui-Gon Jinn 12 inch figure
- Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi from episode 1 12 inch figure
- Yu-Gi-Oh! Twisted Nightmares double deck set of Yami Bakura and Yami Marik (sooo awesome and perfect for my Yami Bakura memorabilia collection! There's a game mat with characters on it, and Skill cards with them on them, and cards at the beginning of the decks with them on them.)
- Halloween face mask that says Trick or Treat in an eerie font, perfect to use with my recycled Yami Bakura costume this year
- Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Chaos coloring book
- Yu-Gi-Oh! uncut dub volume 2, The Insector Combo (the only volume of uncut I don't have, and I finally decided I wanted it)
- Yu-Gi-Oh! character guide to villains
- Autumn socks

Current Mood: okay

A couple of weeks ago or so I found the Kingdom Hearts 3 cutscenes of Sora's adventures in the first Frozen film. I had wondered if revisiting the first film in any form would make me decide I liked the sequel better after all. Instead, it had just the opposite effect, lol. I reaffirmed that the first one was perfect as is and didn't need a sequel, and that I really don't like the path the creators chose for Elsa in the sequel. Most unnecessary. I think the shorts and books have much better follow-up stories. I ordered a set of some of the Anna & Elsa books for my birthday and got another Prime trial for the next four weeks. They also offered me a $5 credit just for downloading a book to read free on my Amazon tablet! I chose another Frozen book, one about a ghost supposedly haunting the castle. It's fun and cute so far.

Build-a-Bear sent me an email the other day with Disney products in it. They have some cute Mickey and Minnie plushies, but most were too expensive in general and all were too expensive to buy online and have to pay shipping to get. Looking at the email made me decide something, though. I've wanted a Mickey plushie for years. This is the year I'm going to actually get one! I have my brother's little Mickey, but he's not very furry anymore and the stuffing was coming out. I can't remember if I was able to patch him up. I always felt like I couldn't get another Mickey because it would be "betraying" that one, lol. But I really want one and am determined to get one. Disney isn't having any sales right now, so I considered Walmart's offering. Theirs is really nice, but doesn't have a tail. I see a lot online with tails. I am most tempted to buy a 25 inch one that's $20, and then I'd get $5 off with my credit. I have a weakness for supersize things!

I also have a $5 coupon from eBay that I can use for once. Usually they send things I can't use, like coupons only good for fashion categories or whatnot. I'm still debating what to buy with that too. Part of me thinks I should get the Yami Yugi pin I need to complete my set of them (the set with the Yami Bakura pin). Another part thinks I should buy the other uncut dub DVD. I have 1 and 3, but not 2. I hadn't been interested before because it's just the Weevil duel and Joey's first duel with Mai, and I imagined Weevil's duel wasn't that different from the dub version and I don't care for how skimpy the Harpies are in their uncut forms. But it would be more voice-acting from the actors I love playing those characters, which would make it a treasure. I think it and Bonds Beyond Time are the only DVDs I don't have with any of the original YGO characters. (And their guest spots on GX. I don't have those either. I did watch the Paradox Brothers' guest spot on Hulu and can't say I was that impressed. The duel certainly wasn't as epic and spectacular as Yugi and Joey's duel against them. But it was nice seeing Syrus find inner strength he didn't know he had.)

I've actually watched some 5Ds. I like the Dark Signer arc and watched Carly's and Kalin's episodes for that. Then I wanted to see Kalin's redemption arc too. I really like the Duel Links event that was done for the latter. Kalin is a character who develops so much through just the few episodes he's in. I found it very vindicating how sobered he behaves when he finally realizes how horrible he's been acting. His extreme behavior change is how I tend to write characters going through the same type of phase.

I still hate the setting of Domino City after an explosion tore the city apart. Why did the creators think the fans would want to see their beloved city a wreck? It's so depressing. I refuse to accept that 5Ds absolutely happens in the future, even though I like some of the characters and arcs. I can headcanon it happening in an alternate dimension, though. I may or may not write a fic exploring that premise.

(Also, motorcycle duels will always be ridiculous. The characters can't even look at each other! I have a hard time believing that Seto designed such a thing, as the Wiki says he did.)

Azure Week was interesting and fun and now I've been preparing for Whumptober and maybe Comfortember. Two months of hurt/comfort prompts! Squeeee! I'm doing a connected story for Whumptober with Yami Marik tormenting the Big Five and I've just finished the first draft of the tenth prompt. They're all fairly short scenes. I might expand some before posting next month. We'll see. I don't think every prompt will be part of this story, as a few seem like they need to be stand-alone, but again, we'll see. I also sketched a picture when I needed a drawing prompt and used one of the Comfortember prompts. I may or may not save the picture to actually post for the prompt. That's a long time to wait, and I planned to write a fic for that prompt too.

Current Mood: tired

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The Winter Court of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

We were so carefree then, our hearts were on a cloud ...

Entries tagged with fanfiction

We'll Carry On

Mandatory Check-In

...

Kazuki Takahashi, a dear friend I have never met who changed my life

Eevees!

Pokemon and YGO

Update

Life goes on.

5Ds_100 table

I have made an important discovery this week.

GAH.

ROTFLOL.

If you believe in forever ...

The figure search goes on....

And the legacy goes on....

5Ds

...

Yay

Ugh.

Back to Frozen 1....