The Winter Court of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

What everyone wants to have happen: the HVAC unit dying in the middle of a heat wave. It got up to 92 degrees in the house and was so horrible it was hard to breathe, even with a fan. Dad actually consented to a repairman, but the guy insisted on $877! That was out of the question. The normal going price is between $100-$200, I believe. Dad was disgusted and fed-up and insisted on doing it himself. There were many setbacks and problems, such as an idiot sending the completely wrong motor after Dad specifically went over the specs with him several times! After a week of hellish temperatures, off-set a bit by fans and a cute portable AC, Dad and my brother finally fixed it! HALLELUJAH. And now we know more about electricity and how HVAC motors work. And the sounds they make when they don't. There's a video on YouTube where a guy demonstrates the sound we'd been hearing, and the video opens with a shot of a bad motor sitting there making the sound, and for some reason that amuses me so much. I'm not sure why. Maybe it just seems funny to see it highlighted like that. But yes, that was a nightmare week.

I've been trying Discord because I wanted so much to find a nest of YGO fans. There have been many ups and downs. But I got closer to a silent fic reader friend I've casually known for a while and we have an RP going, and I have a couple of other steady RPs going, so that's all really nice. I still just love RPs.

Fic writing and art-making go on. I also dabbled in fanmixes and have two for Kalin and Radley on YouTube. I just *love* that so many artists are putting their songs officially on YouTube! All but I think two of the songs on the mixes are officially up on the artists' channels. I have pages on my YGO website to discuss the song choices in detail. For some reason, the YouTube descriptions won't load on mobile devices well, plus there's a character limit, which I hit for the second mix.

I've been having so much fun finding new music for the mixes when I need specific topical songs. Occasionally it's frustrating when I can't find something that fits, like a song where someone is annoyed by someone who isn't a jerk ex but doesn't want to kill the annoying person (seriously, why are there so many extreme songs where someone wants to kill the annoying person? WTH. Yeah, yeah, I know it's because there are many people who feel like that even if they wouldn't really do it, but it's frustrating when you're looking for something not as extreme), but in the end I've found things that work! Yes, I finally found a song about being annoyed with someone that was exactly what I wanted, so close that it felt like it was written for the specific situation of Kalin suffering from depression and self-hatred in Crash Town and repeatedly rejecting Radley because of feeling he's not sincere! (I Don't Even Care About You by Missio.) That was an amazing moment.

My icon is also related to my fanmix projects. I realized Evanescence's My Heart is Broken is perfect for the scenario in my fics where Radley is forced to sacrifice himself to save the others and Kalin can't deal with it. I'd forgotten that red text washes out once icons are saved; it was much brighter in my program.

I am obsessed with the band Red. I stumbled on a song of theirs called Hymn for the Missing by accident, was intrigued, and finally looked up lots of their stuff on Friday. IT IS INCREDIBLE. Squee songs and hurt/comfort songs and angsty songs and now I have seven of their songs on my second mix because THEY'RE SO PERFECT. I even found songs that could fit for amnesia situations! (Probably not what they were intended to be, but that's half the fun when a song can be interpreted multiple ways!)

I'm also customizing dolls. I wanted Kalin and Radley dolls (so I could stroke Radley's pretty hair, lol). It's not easy finding boy dolls with rooted hair, but Jay from Descendants is perfect for Radley with a little paint to lighten his skin tone to Radley's. Their proportions are so odd, though, that then to match up with him, my only choice for Kalin was a rooted hair Carlos. The post office has been aggravatingly slow about delivering him, but he should be here tomorrow. The hair is shorter than I'd wanted, but I'll work with it. I don't feel like rerooting or making a wig. I'm nervous how the hair dyeing will go, but hopefully it will work out. I have clothes all sewn for him and some Ken shoes that will hopefully fit.

So I started fooling around taking screengrabs and I tried making this icon. I don't know if the text is readable or not? I've been told I'm terrible at putting text on icons, that it always looks awkward, and I was finding once again that it was true on my first attempts at this. I wanted the text to stay off of Lector, and this is what came of that.

Lector plush, minus fedora, is done: http://meromeroyui.deviantart.com The coat gave me so many headaches. But now, stepping back and examining him from an outside perspective, I think it looks pretty good. And I feel like making Serenity soon. I'd like to make both her and David before Christmas. But that may or may not happen, since I need to get cracking on some gift art.

I have my multi-chapter fic finished and the angsty blurb is pretty much stalled. I'm not sure about posting it anyway, since that might be too much near-death chaos going on after the multi-chapter. I decided I wanted to work on my next multi-chapter instead, which was going to be set at Christmas. I wanted the opening to be Lector standing at a lamppost, like in the picture I wanted to draw (and finally did sketch), but I wasn't sure what would happen next. I just let the writing figure itself out, and now someone's threatening the Big Five. I think a lot of their servants are ganging up on them because they don't like that they don't have the full run of the houses now that their bosses are back. That's some poetic justice for them to deal with. I'm not sure, however, if the servants will be responsible for the worst problems or if there are two separate plots going on. I think Dr. Portman and Yami Marik will be causing trouble too. I'm toying with Nesbitt being targeted and mind-controlled, as he's seen as the weakest link since he seems the most reluctant to give up his hatred for Seto and work on building midway rides themed with penguins instead of trying to work more on weapons again. I have images of him dueling the other four and Seto, maybe. It would be interesting if they had to work together, heh. I'm picturing Nesbitt attacking Lector directly and Lector flying backwards to the ground, and maybe some or all of them trying to get through to Nesbitt by reminding him that he was willing to die to protect Lector in his right mind, and now he's hurting his friend. I probably use mind-control a lot, but then again, so did canon.

I really enjoyed the previous multi-chapter and am enjoying this one. With both, I'm trying to make them like the old mystery fics, and honestly, I think I'm succeeding for the most part. I've got Seto to where he thinks of the others as friends, so there's finally the camaraderie of the mystery fics, and I used to do fics set during Christmas and Halloween a lot, so that's back. Naturally things can't be exactly the same, since it's a different, more canon-compliant timeline, but I really prefer this timeline since it takes place after canon and hence allows for more development now that all canon is known. It's also fun writing for OCs like Mr. Thorton, Tea's boss, again. Most OCs are largely the same, but Khu had to be changed a bit, of course. And Portman prefers psychological torture over physical torture these days.

I've tried to ponder on what order I like the other Big Five members. That's a hard choice, because honestly, they're all pretty terrible people, Lector included. Lector has that fascinating justice-driven personality during the Seto duel, which is why I'm intrigued by him. But then he sinks to the level of the others after that. Gansley I like a lot because he seems to be the other voice of reason besides Lector (and I'm just fascinated by his voice in general, heh). But he's also very sadistic and cruel to Atem and Yugi. Crump is kind of endearing with his penguin obsession and worrying about the environment for their sake, but he's also very sadistic and cruel to Tea by slowly freezing her. (Plus, he's a dirty old man in the original....) Nesbitt is very violent, attacking Seto with kendo and punching Mokuba (!!!!). And he doesn't seem to be as much of a team player as the others. Those things, however, do make for fun writing experiments. I like exploring the conflicts between him and Lector, since they seem to have some trouble getting along in canon. Lector is frustrated by Nesbitt's impulsiveness and unwillingness to be a team player. Nesbitt is frustrated that Lector is frustrated, lol. And Johnson ... also very sadistic and cruel, appearing to Joey as Mai. That was really low. Plus, he's a highly crooked lawyer. I definitely like him the least. That's approximately the order I like them all in, although depending on my mood, Crump and Nesbitt can switch places.

I marathoned Doom/Doma arc from Monday through Saturday. I'd really forgotten how and why it was always my favorite YGO season. It's definitely the darkest arc, but I guess it's like ThickerThanLove says, sometimes it's the darkest arcs that have the sweetest moments. I always found Doom Arc beautiful because of the strong morals of overcoming the darkness in your heart and embracing the light. There are so many heartbreaking things, true: the bikers' (uncut) pasts, Yami Yugi falling to the darkness, Yugi sacrificing himself to save him, Yami Yugi flipping out on Weevil, the duel against Yugi, the whole Mai catastrophe, people losing their souls left and right.... But there's a beautiful light of hope that shines throughout the arc and eventually triumphs, saving everyone, even Dartz. The second duel against Raphael is beautiful (even with the dub's mashing of the cemetery scene) and there are so many powerful moments. I love Yugi's sacrifice, although it's heartbreaking at the same time. And the scene where Yami Yugi encourages all of the captured souls to remember the light and focus on that instead of the darkness is powerful!

I have to admit, I always liked that the dub changed that bit at the end where Yami Yugi decides he's going to try to absorb all of the world's darkness. That's just WTH because it can't be done. If it could, there wouldn't be any more conflicts or villains and there were certainly more. That in addition to my finding it uncomfortable from a religious perspective. Of course, Pharaohs were considered gods, so that has to be taken into account too and may be the reason why it was done in the original Japanese. But I still like the dub changing it to Yami Yugi fighting a final battle against his own darkness better.

Alister is still my favorite biker, although I love them all. Valon was always my least favorite of the three, mostly because he didn't have a "noble" or least a deep reason for taking part and I can't really relate to characters who like to physically fight. But I think I liked him better on this round. Still prefer the other two, but I absorbed his storyline better now. I really love how Joey's attitude changes Valon by the end of their duel. That was very moving!

At least on Dreamwidth, I've restored my old Alister icon. Not sure if I can fit it in on Livejournal, but maybe I'll look and see if there's anything I want to remove in order to slip it in. Alister was always one of my "image" characters, one of the main ones I was told reminded someone of me. If I remember right, she said I was like Alister in some ways. I guess that would probably mostly be in bluntness/attitude, but also perhaps in that we both enjoy voice-acting and cosplay. Oddly enough, I think maybe the other character I would be most like is Serenity. Sheltered most of my life and maybe a little reserved/quiet/shy at first, but I can open up and be playful if I start to feel comfortable. And Serenity is awesome in that despite her fears, she stands up and is strong when the situation calls for it. I would like to be like that. I just adore writing her showing that quality in fics! I think she may be my favorite YGO female character, although I still love Tea to bits too. Really, I love all four main females, Ishizu and Mai too. Rebecca I can usually handle alright, especially in Doom Arc. The only YGO female I truly despise is Vivian Wong. Creepy and rotten as heck, kidnapping Solomon and deliberately hurting his bad back to force Yugi to duel her! GAH. As if Yugi would ever like her if she does stuff like that! Now, if it wasn't for stunts like that, I would like her fine. Heck, if she'd developed by the end of the arc and got past such behavior, I'd like her fine. But that didn't happen.

I remember having some songs I felt fit all the bikers collectively, with The Children of Eve being my favorite. Somewhere I Belong was another favorite. Finding songs that fit individual bikers was much more difficult. Life is Like a Boat was always Alister's song. I adore that song so much, especially how the character (Rukia, I guess) goes from feeling so alone to knowing she has a friend to wanting to be a friend in turn. Beautiful! There are very few songs with a progression like that. Most songs just stick with a particular feeling and don't have the song character develop beyond that feeling. The only other song I can think of that does is, of all things, Someone is Missing at Christmas (which I thought for years was romantic, and only this past season I learned it was actually about siblings, and based on real-life, gah). Back to Life is Like a Boat, I love it so much I even sang it in public once, at a talent show. Of course, I slightly alter the lyric in the second verse to say "maybe they just don't care at all" instead of "maybe they just don't give a damn." Okay, so it doesn't quite rhyme then, but eh. And yes, I do sing it with both the English and the Japanese parts, instead of translating the Japanese parts to English.

One puzzlement I always had was debating if I portrayed Alister correctly in that I had him aloof, since he was certainly open about his emotions to Seto. But it makes sense that he would tell Seto stuff, since he was enraged at him and wanted him to know why. Plus, the Orichalcos was generally being used when he was particularly open, so that could have been a factor too. It definitely warped his personality when he used it. He certainly isn't very open with Valon; Valon has no idea why Alister is upset with Seto. And then it's debatable if Raphael knew, as Alister definitely seemed to get along better with him. In my stories, post-Doom, I had it that Alister didn't want to publicly display his acting talents under normal circumstances and that he even worked from home because he preferred not interacting with people. He did, however, also volunteer at a group home to interact with kids. I still debate on if he should be as closed-off as I made him.

Not being bound by the old timeline, I have a chance to experiment with other things and see what I think of them. I'm toying with Alister still being aloof, especially with Valon, but that he does like acting. As mentioned before, if a character shows no canon interest or talent in it, I don't particularly want them to have that as an interest because I like them to be themselves. But since Alister does show a canon talent, maybe he has the interest too. That's honestly hard to say. I think if he does like acting, it's part of his aloofness, actually. He hides behind the characters he plays and it's hard to find the real him. There's always a little of him in each character, if you know where to look.

Hmm, but then if he does like acting, he probably has to get into romantic situations in the plays at times, and I also always headcanoned it that he wasn't especially interested in or comfortable with romance. Trying to picture him otherwise is not computing. It's very difficult for an asexual to picture characters as being interested if they don't show a canon interest. At least, it's very difficult for this asexual! Pretty much the only other situation where it will compute is if I've fallen head over heels for a particular pairing and want it badly, which is an extremely rare situation. I will always love Seto/Tea, no matter how unlikely it is to ever happen in canon. (Funny thing about that one is that I started out fully against it, WTH is this, etc. But then in trying to argue why it was impossible, I got myself thinking, "Hmm, wouldn't it be a fun challenge to see if it could be possible?" and things went from there.) With Alister, I am not a fan of any pairings with him.

I definitely think I'll keep that at least at first, he didn't want people to get close to him because he was so afraid he would fail them as he feels he failed Miruko. He either deliberately behaved off-putting because of that or he didn't try to explain his off-putting behavior because of that. And naturally, he and Valon still argue. That's a fun dynamic.

He's still blunt, of course, and he may cop a little more attitude. I am still amused by his obnoxious "Surprise!" in the dub when he reveals his true identity. I do remember him quipping that in at least one of the old stories. The dub naturally added more obnoxiousness than there originally was. I think I tried to write a little more with the original personality in mind when I did the old stories. Of course, with all the bikers, I wrote their pasts uncut so the readers could know the full story and not just the mashed-up version.

I'm the first person to be outraged at stupid dub changes, but I will always prefer the English voices, music, and dub humor. I missed the humor when I tried watching the uncut dub. I just wish the dub hadn't become afraid to say characters were dead. In Duelist Kingdom, they actually acknowledged it twice (gasp!): with Cecelia, and also with Seto and Mokuba's parents. But by season 3, it was their parents disappeared instead of died, and of course, all that ridiculous covering up of Alister and Raphael's loved ones dying in season 4. It is really amazing that they let Shadi say he'd been killed in season 5.

I also wish the dub didn't make Seto so much more horrible than he was in the original. I think what really got me up in arms is that during the duel with Dartz, in the original he yells for the mind-controlled Joey to fight if he's a true duelist, and in the dub he says, "That second-rate duelist has held me back for the last time!" **repeated headdesk.** Why, dub. And then in the original he was concerned about Yami Yugi when he was hurt, but the dub changed it so he didn't sound concerned and Yami Yugi sarcastically said, "I'm fine. Thanks for asking." For the most part, Seto is fairly likable in Doom Arc; he does seem to have finally gotten over the hatred that drove him in season 3 especially. But of course, there are moments that were terrible in both the original and the dub, particularly when he learns that Yugi lost to Raphael. And then there were good moments earlier than season 4 that the dub sometimes changed, like how he didn't want Tea to be harmed in season 2, but the dub made it sound like he only cared because she was Mokuba's friend. Oy vey....

One amusing thing I noticed is that in Doom Arc, any time someone exclaims "What?!" the other person will say, "You heard me." That exchange happens at least three times, with different characters each time. **snerk.**

And you know, considering how much Seto denies the supernatural, I found it really intriguing that in season 1 he never scoffs at the concept of Pegasus stealing souls. He just accepts it and is focused on saving Mokuba from that fate. My guess is that it was so horrifying for Seto when he ended up losing his soul that from that point, he desperately tried denying anything supernatural.

I have definitely had a love/hate struggle regarding Seto for years. But I think I may finally be coming to grips again and being able to enjoy the good in him more again. My YGO character obsessions were him, Marik, Alister, and Siegfried, while I also always enjoyed Duke, both Bakuras, and Yugi. I was frustrated that I couldn't get many story ideas for Duke and the Bakuras aside from their roles in the mysteries. Later on, I had ideas for them more than any other characters, LOL.

This entry is very long and rambling. That's what happens when I don't update because I'm working on a story. The first draft of Dragons at Dawn is done! I can hardly wait until all chapters are posted. I felt like more details were needed at parts, so I'm still adding things, including a segment where the Neo-Orichalcos tries to get Yami Bakura to join it. He's not sold on being one of the good guys yet, but he's hopping mad at the thing trying to tempt him because of what it did to Bakura. He really tells off the Neo-Orichalcos for that. It's a fun scene.